The OP explained how her fiance, Kevin, wants to have his closest friend, Amy, as his best man at their wedding in August this year. The two are as close as family and have known each other for over a decade.
She is especially concerned because Amy is transgender and that her family would “have a lot of issues” with her, which would lead to Amy receiving transphobic behavior.
OP asking her fiance to find a different best ‘man’ has led to a large fight between the couple. Kevin reportedly stated he would rather cancel the wedding than not have Amy in the best man role.
He considers her the closest thing he has to family. Having been kicked out of his blood family’s home by his mother when he was seventeen, meeting Amy shortly afterward.
From what the OP tells us, her and Kevin’s wedding is more for her family than for them. They had initially planned to be wed years ago but postponed due to concerns about safety during the pandemic.
She claims that Kevin has often said that the wedding isn’t very important to him. He is doing it because of its importance to her and her family rather than for himself.
It occurs if one party repeatedly says he doesn’t care about getting married. The other refuses to support their fiance’s closest friend against potential transphobic attacks.