Remember when manners made the man, and courtesy was the currency of social interactions? Sadly, a lot of things that were polite in the past have now gone the way of the dinosaurs. Here are 21 things that were once the height of politeness but now seem completely outdated.
Handwriting Thank-You Notes
Once upon a time, if you didn’t send a handwritten thank-you note after receiving a gift, you were basically asking for trouble. Today, if you spend hours picking out the perfect card and ink color, people think you’ve got too much time on your hands! A quick text does the trick now, but there’s something truly personal about writing a thank-you note.
Sending Holiday Cards
Speaking of cards, remember when sending a holiday card was a ritual? Sure, some people still do it, but it’s usually a digital greeting instead of one by paper. If you didn’t send your cousin Jan a holiday card, you were essentially giving her the middle finger. However, today, a Facebook update or an Instagram story can instantly share holiday cheer.
Offering Your Seat to Elders
Gone are the days when you had to give your seat to someone older. Now, it’s all about reading the room. You might meet an old person who jogs five miles before breakfast and takes your offer of a seat as an insult. Offering your seat isn’t extinct – it’s just more of a calculated risk. You have to be polite while not accidentally suggesting someone’s past their prime.
Not Wearing Hats Indoors
Once a clear-cut no-no, keeping your hat on indoors has changed from a sign of disrespect to a personal style choice. Wearing a hat indoors has become a deliberate part of someone’s look, suggesting anything from a bad hair day to someone’s love for a certain sports team. The old rule book on hat etiquette has gone completely out the window!
Using Sir or Ma’am
Calling someone “sir” or “ma’am” used to be as standard as saying “please” and “thank you.” But nowadays, people might look at you funny for being “too proper.” The shift towards casual greetings is just another part of our more laid-back communication style, where everyone from the CEO to the mail carrier is part of the first-name club.
Referring to Acquaintances as Mr. or Mrs.
Likewise, remember when addressing someone by their last name was the only way to show respect? These days, calling someone Mr. Smith instead of just John can make you seem like you’ve time-traveled from the 1950s. It’s all about first names or even nicknames now unless you’re in a courtroom or maybe meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time.
Waiting for Everyone to Get Their Food Before Eating
In the past, you had to wait for every plate to grace the table before digging. But now? It’s more of a suggestion than a rule. Sure, it’s nice to eat at the same time, but sometimes you just can’t wait! The modern solution is a group shrug and everyone starting their food without that one person. This way, no one’s meal turns into a cold, sad affair!
RSVPing to Events
There used to be a rigid expectation that you’d RSVP to every event – no matter what. But with the digital age, things have changed. A ‘maybe’ on a Facebook event or a last-minute text has become the norm, while the art of commitment to social engagements is practically non-existent. The RSVP has changed from a strict deadline to a flexible idea.
Dressing Up for Flights
Traveling by plane used to mean donning your finest clothes. It was just polite to look nice! Now, we live in a world where sweatpants are the fashion of the skies, and nobody blinks an eye at slippers as footwear. Airplane clothes have changed from chic to cozy as part of our prioritization of personal comfort over public perception, especially in a cramped cabin!
Avoiding Elbows on the Table
The dining table’s rulebook has slimmed down quite a lot, and the elbow ban has been lifted. Today, putting your elbows up during a meal doesn’t send the same shockwaves of rudeness it once did. Unless you’re dining in Buckingham Palace, the focus has shifted from table manners to the conversation and connection happening around the meal.
Eating with the Right Cutlery
Speaking of the dining table, there used to be very specific rules on which utensils to use. However, things have changed. People don’t usually care if you use the salad fork for your greens, except in the most formal of settings. The focus is on the act of eating itself rather than the tools you use.
Covering Your Mouth with a Handkerchief When Coughing
Covering coughs is still in, but the handkerchief has seen better days. In its place, the quick, efficient elbow dab has become common, specifically because it keeps germs at bay. This is one change we can get behind, as the move from fabric to forearm came with our greater understanding of public health.
Not Using Your Phone at the Dinner Table
Tech-free tables used to be the norm, not the exception. Sadly, as smartphones become an extension of our bodies, we now see them everywhere – including the dining table. In the past, it was the height of rudeness to have a phone out. Now, it’s standard to see a phone next to the plate, working as a photo album, encyclopedia, or moderator of a debate.
Walking on the Outside of the Sidewalk
Once upon a time, walking closest to the street was an act of chivalry. You were protecting your walking buddy from puddles and runaway carriages! Today, people care more about dodging selfie sticks! The idea of protecting someone feels outdated when you’re both just trying not to walk into a lamppost while texting.
Holding Doors Open for Strangers
Holding doors used to be a sign that you were a good person. But with automatic doors almost everywhere, doing this can make you look like you were born in the wrong time. And let’s be honest – timing it has gotten awkward. You’re stuck between “Should I, shouldn’t I?” when someone is just a tad too far, leading to that awkward half-jog they do. We hate it!
Asking Permission to Leave the Table
This was the ultimate test of childhood patience. Today, announcing that you’re leaving the table feels overly formal, like you’re expecting someone to pull out a scroll and formally declare your exit. Most dinners are so casual that the biggest question is whether to pause Netflix while you grab another slice of pizza.
Taking Off Your Shoes When Entering Someone’s Home
Many cultures and households still expect this, but in the Western world, the universal expectation to take your shoes off when entering a home has pretty much disappeared. Now, it’s like a weird dance at the doorway, trying to figure out if you should keep your shoes on or not. No one wants to make the first move, leading to everyone’s eyeing each other’s feet!
Announcing Your Arrival with a Phone Call
Back in the day, letting someone know you were on your way over with a quick call was polite. It helped the hosts to prepare and let everyone know when they could (probably) start eating. Fast-forward to today’s world, and sending a text that you’re three minutes away and stuck at a red light is completely fine.
Turning Off the TV When Guests Arrive
It used to be common courtesy to turn off the television and give your full attention to guests when they arrived. However, today, the TV often stays on, usually as background noise or a conversation starter about the latest binge-worthy series. The TV has become another member of the family – just one that nobody wants to silence.
Asking Before Posting Photos on Social Media
In the not-so-distant past, snapping a photo and sharing it meant you needed to get permission from everyone in it. But with the number of selfies and candid shots people take nowadays, the courtesy of asking to post feels outdated. People just assume that if you’re in a public setting or at a social event, you’re fair game for the ‘Gram.
Leaving the Last Piece of Anything on the Plate
There was a time when taking the last piece of pizza, cake, or even bread from the shared plate meant you were the greediest person at the table. There had to be a ton of “No, you take it” until someone bravely sacrificed their hunger for politeness. Nowadays, it’s every person for themselves, and if you blink, you’ll miss your chance!
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