A woman in her thirties faces criticism from her family for making a snide comment about her cousin’s decision to visit her late husband’s grave instead of participating in traditional bachelorette trip activities.
The comment about her cousin “doing her own thing” on a bachelorette trip—when said “own thing” was visiting her late husband’s grave.
This has sparked a heated debate among family members, with the woman’s sister recommending that she seek outside opinions by posting about the incident on the online forum Am I The A**hole (AITA).
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
The Wedding is Soon
The woman, OP, writes that she is getting married soon and decided to have her bachelorette party, a trip to New York for a few days. Among the seven people she invited to come with her was her cousin, Hayley.
The city escape has gone well until the final day when OP makes an early dinner reservation, as she has plans to take everyone elsewhere afterward (she does not detail where).
She Visits the Cemetery
That same day, Hayley split from the rest of the party to visit the cemetery where her late husband is buried. Hayley informed OP of this advance and was assured it was fine as long as she returned in time for the dinner reservation.
The reservation was for 5 in the afternoon, but at 4:30, Hayley was nowhere to be seen. She did not answer calls but sent a text to tell OP she was running late but still coming and arrived at the restaurant around 6. A perfectly understandable predicament, you’d think?
OP certainly doesn’t seem to think so. According to her own account, she told her cousin off for being late. But, then, she said she should manage her time better before saying it was “supposed to be a girls’ trip, not so she can run off do her own thing without thinking of anyone else.”
Well, it seems to us that it is OP who cannot think of anyone else—Hayley no doubt had an emotional time paying her respects, then informed OP that she would be late returned, and still made it to the venue only an hour out!
Reddit Responds
We question OP’s claim that the other women in the party “agree Hayley shouldn’t have been late,” too. It sounds like a child’s excuse for misbehavior—especially as these other guests may not know why Hayley was late.
OP says that Hayley was quiet for the rest of the trip and on the return flight and has not responded to her texts. She wrote the Reddit post at the suggestion of her sister, who disagrees with her actions.
Well, OP’s sister—kudos for that suggestion! Perhaps the number of commenters responding to tell OP just how callous her actions were will make her do some self-reflection.
“I can understand that this was your bachelorette but read the room. It wasn’t like she went to pay respects to a dead celebrity buried nearby. It was literally her husband,” one commenter says.
More point out that to a—possibly recent—widow, going to a bachelorette party and watching someone get married would likely be very emotional, and not emotions Hayley would be comfortable speaking about with most people, especially the bride-to-be.
Another thing to note is the hysterical specificity of OP’s complaint—not that Hayley was missing an activity, but that she was merely an hour late to dinner. She even texted in advance to tell OP she wouldn’t be on time! Making such a fuss over something like this is hardly befitting of a thirty-year-old woman.
One Reddit user suggested to OP, “How about we stop playing pseudo-mommy lecturing grown adults because you were upset that one person wasn’t paying enough attention to you for a few hours?”
We notice that OP also lets us know in her post that she was paying for all the activities on the trip—well, apart from the significant expenses like flights and hotels. Not only does this imply that OP thinks everyone needs to act as she wants, but it also shows that Hayley lives a substantial distance from her husband’s grave.
It’s most likely a rare occasion that she’s able to visit. Regardless, this level of narcissism is unacceptable to treat anyone, let alone family.
Source: Reddit
