A woman asked the online community if she was wrong for sending a Mother’s Day gift to her friend without asking her husband first.
Difficult Labor.
“My best friend had her first baby, my godchild, 4 months back. She had a rough childbirth and was bedridden for several weeks after. Her mom and in-laws have moved in with them or close by to help with childcare. But she has been complaining about feeling emotionally neglected and underappreciated.”
Emotionally Neglected.
“Everyone is focused on the ‘precious’ baby, and she feels like her only worth is that of the cow that produces its milk. She might be slipping into PPD (undiagnosed). Her husband helps a bit with childcare, but it’s a flip of a coin if he’ll show up for her emotionally.”
Her Husband Rarely Steps Up.
The woman is worried her friend’s needs aren’t being met by her unsympathetic husband.
“For the most part, he hasn’t [stepped up]. He doesn’t get what she has been through and is going through.”
The Gift.
“This weekend, I ordered a Mother’s Day self-care package for my mom and had an extra one shipped to my friend. I added a gift note thanking her for giving me the world’s cutest godchild and for everything she has done for us. It was meant to be a gift from me – her friend – to celebrate her new journey as a mom.”
The Message Wasn’t Quite Right.
“The gift was delivered early. She was very happy to receive it. She knew it was from me. But here’s the problem – the gift box apparently had a message printed on it from a child to its mother (thank you mom or I love you mom or something similar).”
The Husband Was Angry.
“Her husband saw it and texted me, telling me it was not cool that I bought a gift for his wife on his child’s behalf without consulting him. Buying a gift on his baby’s behalf was his right. I clarified that the gift was from me and this was not a competition. He could get her gifts on his behalf and the baby’s behalf on Sunday.”
She Tried to Explain the Error.
“And I said I hadn’t zoomed in on the picture of the box to read the message printed on it when I was ordering it online. But he wasn’t having it. He said it was a bold move meant to undercut him. So AITA?”
She Took to an Online Forum.
The woman shared her tale on an online forum to ask if she was in the wrong to buy her friend a gift.
The online community spoke.
NTA
“He knows he’s not stepping up, so he’s trying to keep the bar low so he doesn’t look bad. He needs to get over himself and step up for his family. Keep supporting your friend.”
“I was going to comment exactly the same thing. The man knows he’s not doing enough & is feeling guilty. Keep doing what you’re doing, OP [original poster]. Your best friend needs you.”
He Knows He’s Failing.
“I love that he’s dealing with his guilt by telling OP to knock it off instead of stepping up his own game to make sure he’s present for his wife.”
“He bought nothing for his wife, and now everyone knows that he forgot about her. So he’s rude to you… And he’s TA.”
Wonderful Friend.
Commenters assured the woman she wasn’t wrong and was a good friend.
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