A pregnant woman recently looked for support on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) when she and her husband disagreed on what to do about her stepdaughter. While there are no significant issues between the woman and her 23-year-old stepdaughter, they are not very close.
The woman goes on to explain the cause of the debate is that she wants her stepdaughter to move out of the family home to make space for the new baby. The original poster (OP) feels she had good reason to ask her husband to speak to his daughter about moving out.
They could not afford a larger home, and the baby would need their room. As the stepdaughter was in full-time work, it did not seem unreasonable to the OP that she was asked to move out to her own place.
The husband agreed to speak with his daughter, and they offered 2 months’ support with her rent and helping her decorate her new place. After initially not speaking up about her thoughts, the stepdaughter told her dad that she could not afford to live alone and wanted to stay, to which her dad agreed.
The OP is now unhappy that they will need to find space for the new baby and is struggling to get her stepdaughter to change her mind as she keeps locking herself in her room. This issue is now causing problems with her marriage. Her husband is unhappy that she is forcing his daughter to move out.
Turning to Reddit, the OP asks if she is in the wrong. The opening comment on the thread gives the OP serious food for thought when someone says, “So you and your husband can’t afford another place to live, but you expect her to ?”
Other people were harsh in their evaluation, saying, “it wouldn’t be a horrible idea to make sure you are properly prepared and responsible before bringing another child into the world.”
While it is unclear how the pregnancy came about, and nobody should judge other people’s circumstances, many people could not help but feel that the OP was displaying a**hole behavior. One poster was explicit in their opinions when they stated, “You’re barely a decade older than your stepdaughter, leave her parenting to her actual parent.”
However, there was some support for the OP, as some pointed out, saying, “This doesn’t matter. She is living for free in their home. They have every right to ask her to find a new place or help pay rent for them to afford a bigger place.”
However, others were wondering about the true intentions of the stepdaughter when they said, “It’s also slightly odd that a 23-year-old isn’t even showing the desire to move out of their parent’s home.”
There was some (all be it sarcastic) advice for the OP from one Reddit user when they said, “ It is hard for young adults these days. Unless they marry an older guy with $$$. Your baby can stay in the room with you for the first month.”
Another reader seemed to have a good idea when they said, “why not tell her it won’t work in a 2 bed and she either has to get her place, or you guys can get a 3 bed, and she has to pay a part of the rent/contribute another way.” While this may not be the perfect solution, they can all work together to pay bills and live happily.