OP is a 17-year-old who has an older brother who is bisexual. Their grandmother, who comes from a strict Jewish home, is aware of their sexualities but is reluctant to accept that being gay is not a choice and supports conversion therapy. OP’s brother tries to take his attraction to men unnoticed but recently got into a serious relationship with a man his age. After some time, their grandmother agreed to meet his boyfriend and was supportive.
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It Gets Political
A heated political argument between OP and their grandmother started during a road trip. When OP’s mother and younger brother left the vehicle, their grandmother turned to OP and said that being a leftist and being gay are burdensome lifestyles. She also made disparaging comments about OP’s brother’s boyfriend. This led to a separate argument, and OP stopped talking to their grandmother altogether.
OP’s brother still thinks their grandmother supports his relationship, but she may be bad-mouthing his boyfriend to the family. OP is torn between telling their brother about what their grandmother said and risking a family fight or keeping quiet and feeling terrible about it. Additionally, OP is concerned about having their own same-sex relationship in the future and potentially facing similar discrimination from their grandmother.
Who Would Benefit?
A segment of the thread has noted that there are serious implications with divulging the information for OP’s brother:
“NTA
But what would you wish to accomplish by telling him that? I’d suggest that this isn’t information he desperately needs to know. I wouldn’t lie to him about it if he asks, but it seems unlikely to have a more desirable outcome from him simply knowing this.”
As the Redditor points out, informing their brother hasn’t many benefits. As the grandmother has largely publicly supported OP’s brother’s relationship, it may cause unnecessary issues.
She is clearly trying to appear at least as if she does not have an issue with the relationship. Having her private issues revealed to OP’s brother might be enough to cause an enormous argument where no one wins.
This Reddiotr highlights that if OP’s brother finds out this information, he will be hurt and likely fall out with the grandmother. Again, this would not benefit anyone as, for now, the grandmother is publicly supporting their homosexual relationship.
He Should Tell His Brother
“As a gay woman with incredibly conservative grandparents – NTA. I would want to know if my grandmother was insulting my girlfriend and our relationship. It’s not only disrespectful to your brother’s partner; it’s disrespectful to him and to his potential future.”
In this case, the writer has noted that this is a form of disrespect, and OP’s brother should be aware of it. In this case, the OP should side with their brother and offer their grandmother’s opinion.
OP was rightfully concerned that the grandmother’s true feelings seemed to be right below the surface. They also notion that they are most likely to spread negative views behind their backs to the rest of the family.
OP’s grandmother will eventually show their true colors and confess that they disapprove of the relationship. Therefore, this Redditor suggests that informing the broth of the comments as soon as possible is the safest and most fair solution.
It is Time For Pruning
Several less sympathetic people in the thread support the prospect of cutting the grandmother out.
“If I were to find out one of my relatives had such a problem with me, they’d be cut out of the family tree faster than you could say, “Hand me those pruning shears.”
This commercial Redditor is making a humorous and serious point. In this position, they would be ready to cut out toxic family members as soon as they displayed this level of disrespect. Ultimately, the OP has some deep thinking to do because their next steps will have some serious consequences.
HIS STONE COLD GREED. WIFE TRAGICALLY LOSES HER PARENTS BUT HER HUSBAND DEMANDS INHERITANCE
Source: Reddit
