The tale of a brother declining to pay for his sister’s surgery has gone viral, causing fierce debate and polarizing opinions. While some see it as a cruel act of greed, others contend that he had every right to prioritize his own financial stability. The siblings’ relationship is now weakened, leaving many to wonder if there is any hope for reconciliation.
His Half-Sister Is Morbidly Obese
The OP has a younger half-sister, Alissa, who weighs roughly 350 lbs and wants to have a gastric sleeve fitted in her stomach to help her lose weight.
“For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a surgery where they essentially shrink the size of your stomach, and you can lose up to 50% of excess body fat within a year of the surgery.”
It’s Extremely Difficult to Lose Weight
The OP is aware losing weight isn’t always a simple affair, and he commends her for wanting to take control of the situation.
“She has found a doctor who she feels comfortable with and has gone for a few consultations, and everything has seemed like it was going well regarding the surgery.”
The Surgery She Wants Is Expensive
Alissa went for dinner at the OP and his wife’s home and quoted the staggering cost of the surgery.
“The doctor quoted $22,000 for the surgery as well as some plastic surgery afterward that she wants to be done to remove excess skin/scars.”
She Lives Paycheck to Paycheck and Has No Savings
Alissa works in retail management, and the cost of living in their city is very high.
“In comparison, my wife and I work in decently stable fields and have 9-5 corporate jobs, so we’re in a better financial position than Alissa.”
She Wants Them to Pay for the Op and the Plastic Surgery
She clearly cannot afford this surgery, and the OP has said their parents can’t help either.
“After speaking with my wife privately, we decided that we couldn’t pay for it without changing our current lifestyles.”
They Are Willing to Pay Some – But Not All
The OP and his wife came up with a plan they offered to Alissa.
“We would be willing to put $5,000 towards the procedures, and we could take care of her pets during the recovery period.”
This Offer Wasn’t Good Enough for Her
It seems Alissa is not happy with this offer and expects the pair to pony up the entire fee.
“Alissa has been extremely cold to us since we told her this and is now bad-mouthing my wife and me for not helping her have a ‘necessary life-changing experience’ and prioritizing our current lifestyle over her health.”
She Feels She’s Being Held Back
The OP thinks Alissa feels that they are withholding her right to live her fullest and healthiest life.
“My parents have even called saying maybe we can pull our son (16M) out of his private school, which costs a similar amount for a year, and put that money towards Alissa’s health.”
Disrupted Education and Mental Health
The OP’s wife point-blank refused, stating this would be extremely unfair to their son and that they would not be doing this.
“Now we’re the AHs of the family, and everyone thinks we’re greedy snobs.”
They Feel They’ve Offered Enough
The pair have offered money and their time, and they feel this is enough. “I want my sister to get healthier, but I think we’ve already offered enough cash and our time if needed.”
Unsure of whether they were in the wrong or not, they took to an online forum.
Their Son Is More Important
Most users agreed that they weren’t wrong here.
“Your offer was generous. You are right to put your son first here.”
His Duty Is to His Wife and Son
Many users felt Alissa and the family were way out of line.
“OP should rescind their offer for any help whatsoever. Why help at all when the first reaction is to badmouth OP and his wife to the family.”
The Original Offer Was Generous Enough
One user shared that Alissa is being very ungrateful.
“It was very generous. They didn’t have to pay a dime but still offered some money. $22,000 is A LOT.”
It Could Be a Waste of Money Anyway
Users were quick to point out that this surgery may not be effective in the long run and maybe a waste of money.
“I know a woman who got the surgery, lost weight quickly, and then gained it all back.”
The Family Is in the Wrong, Too
“The family members’ bad-mouthing and guilt-tripping op can pay for the sister’s surgery themselves since they have so many opinions about it,” one user weighed in.
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