OP lives with her boyfriend in a flat he owns outright but was bought by his father, which she pays half the market rent for. Recently, she got a job with a significant pay increase, and her boyfriend suggested that they split expenses proportional to income, which she disagreed with. She believes that it is not fair for her to pay more just because she has a higher salary. She already pays enough rent to get the same-sized flat elsewhere, so it’s already fair to her boyfriend.
OP’s boyfriend accused her of ripping him off and presented some weak arguments to support his claim. OP, however, stood firm and refused to split expenses proportionally to income. She now wonders if she was wrong since her best friend, who lives with her boyfriend, does it that way, and her boyfriend owning the flat is irrelevant.
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There are A few Ways to Split It
Splitting expenses proportionally to income is a common practice among couples, but it depends on each couple’s individual circumstances. It is not necessarily fair for the higher earner to pay more if they’re already paying their fair share of the rent. However, it’s also essential to consider other expenses like groceries, utilities, and other shared expenses.
Communication Is Key
OP and her boyfriend have different ideas about what’s fair, which is why they need to communicate and reach a compromise. They could consider adjusting the rent to reflect their current situation or split other expenses proportionally to income. Alternatively, they could decide to continue sharing expenses equally, with the understanding that OP pays rent.
The Boyfriend Is In the Wrong
Most of the commenters are of the same opinion that the boyfriend is being unreasonable for charging rent in the first place. Once the commenter effectively summarises the general perception:
“He is making a rental income while simultaneously living in his rental. No mortgage or rent payments for him means all of her rent money is profit for him. I know there are other expenses in maintaining a home like property taxes and maintenance etc., BUT HE LIVES THERE, so he’d be paying all of that if he were alone too, so I still see her rent as a profit for him.”
Being in the position that he owns a home that only requires utility bills to be paid and no mortgage payments mean that he is just out to make money off his girlfriend. He is not contributing to any payments with her rent money, so it goes straight into his pocket.
No One Believes He Has Been Doing the Right Thing
There are pretty much no commenters that think what the boyfriend was doing in the first place was okay. It really highlighted that charging rent in the first place was already not okay, and now that OP’s situation has changed, there is even less reason to increase her rental payment to him, even if it is half the market value. A harshed commenter noted:
“When someone’s income goes up, does their landlord automatically raise their rent? Does their phone bill go up? Does food become more expensive? No. But the bigger issue here is that your boyfriend charges you rent, but he doesn’t pay rent or a mortgage himself. If you two split up, would he get a roommate to replace you? If not, then it seems like he’s profiting off your relationship, which seems pretty scummy to me.”
It is fair to say that this could be a devastating blow to the relationship. Of course, everything between couples is complicated and unique to their situation. However, it is a comment on the mentality of the boyfriend and how unreasonable it appears that he has always been.
It’s also worth noting that owning a flat does not exempt the owner from paying bills and other expenses, so OP’s boyfriend should be contributing to shared expenses even if he owns the flat. Ultimately, what’s fair is what both parties agree on, and they need to communicate and come up with a solution that works for both of them.
Source: Reddit