OP, a woman from Ohio, shared on Reddit that she needs a divorce lawyer because her husband cheated on her, gave her an STI, and emptied their bank accounts. They have four children together, and she hasn’t worked since their oldest was born. She is now worried about how she will provide for her children, as her husband has given her a week to vacate “his house.” She is also considering selling her wedding and engagement rings to make ends meet.
After receiving an outpouring of support from Reddit users offering food, gift certificates, and well wishes, OP was able to take action. She spoke with her in-laws and got enough cash to pay for a babysitter while she sorted things out. She then opened a new checking account and credit card in her name and met with two divorce attorneys. She discovered that her husband had accumulated over $40,000 in credit card debt and was funneling money out of their shared accounts.
On the advice of her lawyer, OP took half of the checking account money and put it in her new bank account, keeping records of everything. She plans to ask for alimony and child support until her youngest child is 18 and for her husband to pay for both their divorce attorneys. She also plans to sell their house and buy a smaller, more affordable one.
Despite feeling heartbroken and diseased, OP realized that her unhappy marriage had been lifted off her shoulders. She didn’t realize how unhappy she was until her husband was gone, and she hopes to concentrate on getting back to work once all her children were in school.
The In-Laws Agree
It is fair to say that most people in the comments noted that the husband had not acted well or rationally. One commenter described:
“So glad the husband is getting screwed the dirty sod, what good in-laws oop has and all her family rallying around her.”
This is a significant point that harms any chance of additional facts about the situation that make the husband’s position untenable. Even his parent appreciate that this is unacceptable, to the point that they are trying to help the OP.
Some have type-cast this behavior style, suggesting there is a subsection of men willing to do this to their helpless families. Several Reddoitors agree that many familiar stories mirror this behavior:
“Men like this want a do-over. They leave their wives and children and take “their” money, and their ideal is that their families spontaneously disappear so they can continue with their life without baggage or reminders.
Maybe not be the soundest psychological advice, but it goes to show the level of disdain the commenters hold. They are aware of all too familiar stories of husbands abandoning their families. Sadly, many people in the comment sections are all too familiar with this type of circumstance.
No Going Back
The problem is that OP’s husband’s actions are so despicable that there is no natural way for him to return to the family. He was willing to not only abandon them but also to take all of their money that would have been used for them to live:
“That is so cruel. Even if he did backtrack, that is horrifying that he could do something like that. I also started tearing up a bit at the father inlaw thing because it’s what my dad would do too.”
Actions speak a lot louder than words. What he has done cannot be put down to a moment of madness. Commenters have suggested that even if he did regret his actions, he would have to commit to them now because his parents and family will no longer accept him for what he did.
Many have said this will likely backfire on him in a few years, where he will probably come begging to be back with OP. They say that she will never have anything to do with him again if she has any sense.