This man’s wife involved herself in her neighbor’s divorce and custody battle, so he told her to knock it off!
Friendly With the Neighbors.
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“My wife (37F) and I (38M) moved to a new neighborhood about three years ago with our two kids (8 & 6). Our neighbors across the street have two kids (9 & 7) that our kids quickly became friends with. We would also hang out with the parents, and my wife became close friends with the mom. The dad and I got along fine but never as close as my wife and the mother.”
The Marriage Fell Apart.
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“Unfortunately, about a year ago, the parents separated and the mom filed for divorce. Apparently, the dad had an affair. The mom moved out, as the dad owned the house before marriage. She took the kids with her.”
Custody Proceedings.
“According to my wife, the mom tried to get full custody of the kids, but the dad asked for and was granted partial custody. So he has the kids three weekends a month; they stay with their mom the rest of the time.”
The Wife Insists the Kids Come Over.
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“The kids all still play together when they can. I noticed my wife would make it a point to ensure our kids invited them to our house. I also noticed that my wife was asking the neighbor kids some pretty odd and honestly rather intrusive questions about their dad.”
Intrusive Line of Questioning.
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These questions seemed a little off to the man.
“Like if he has “friends” over at his house when they are there. What he feeds them, what rules he has at home, do they feel safe there, etc.”
Enough is Enough.
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“This past weekend the kids were at our house and stayed over for dinner and my wife asked the kids if they like hanging out with their dad or mom more. I cut in before the kids could answer and changed the subject to watching a movie after dinner. As my wife and I were cleaning up, I asked her what the hell all the questions were about.”
Building a Case.
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“She said that her friend is still trying to get full custody of their kids, and she asked my wife if she would keep an eye out for anything that she could use to build the case against the dad. I was shocked. I told her that was none of our business and that she needed to stay out of it. I told her it seems like her friend is still upset about the affair and is using that anger to justify taking the kids away from their father.”
He Told His Wife to Keep Out of It.
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“I told her that neither of us has ever seen a single thing to indicate that this guy is a bad father. Sure, he had an affair that makes him a bad husband, but that has zero influence on his ability to be a good loving father. I told her that what her friend asked her to do was gross, and I’m afraid I have to disagree with the fact that she’s going along with it. I told her she needs to mind her own business.”
She Thinks She’s Being a Good Friend.
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“She said she’s just trying to look out for her friend, and she’s trying to make sure that the kids end up in a situation that is best for them. I told her that spying on our neighbor was not her responsibility, and she was definitely wrong for asking the kids the kind of questions she was. She feels she’s completely justified, but I do not.”
Is He the Jerk?
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The man went online to ask if he was in the wrong for telling his wife to mind her own business.
The online community voiced their opinion.
Not the Jerk.
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“Putting the kids in the middle and using them as a weapon to hurt the father is not best for them. Even if he is an a**hole.”
He’s Not in the Wrong – She Is.
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“OP [original poster] is NTA, but his wife may be.”
“OP is NTA. His wife and the neighbor’s ex are DEFINITELY AHs. Kids should not be manipulated as pawns in a divorce.”
The Wife’s Behavior Is Unacceptable.
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“If your wife cares for these kids, she will make your home a safe place for them instead of an interrogation room.”
“The ex-wife is still bitter and weaponizing the children. I would point out to your wife that if she does it ever again, you’ll tell him about it-which will act in his favor in court when it is brought up that the wife is spying on him.”
What do you think? Who’s in the wrong here?
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