The OP, a 35-year-old man, is married to Jen, a 30-year-old woman who is 32 weeks pregnant with twins. Jen is a workaholic and perfectionist, often working around the clock, which has caused her to have some health issues. Her doctor has advised her to take a break from work, but she continues working from home for 6-8 hours daily.
One day, the OP comes home and finds Jen asleep at her desk, forgetting to eat meals. He tells her to take a break and rest in bed, but she insists on finishing some work. The OP gets frustrated when two hours pass and Jen is still working, so he unplugs the Wi-Fi to cut her off from work. Jen gets angry and calls the OP controlling and abusive. She sleeps in the guest room, and the following day, she doesn’t want to talk to the OP.
The OP feels that he acted out of concern for his wife’s health, but he is starting to feel like he might have been extreme. He believes that Jen is overdoing it by trying to meet deadlines she’s not even supposed to be responsible for.
Her Situation Is Complicated
It is significant to remember that the OP’s wife’s job will be at risk due to her taking off maternity leave. She is in a high-stress industry that is renowned for being cutthroat when it comes to lay-offs.
“Yup! And based on these facts, I’m guessing she is a private practice attorney. She has had it drilled into her head that hours = job security. She is about to go on maternity leave and see those hours plummet… like, I get stressed about taking a vacation because it means I have to make up the hours otherwise!”
She is clearly worried that she might lose her job, which she would have spent years working hard to achieve. Knowing this, OP should be sympathetic to her need. She values her position and is fighting to keep it.
He Is Looking Out For Her and The Baby
Being in a high-stress job can be harmful to a pregnant woman’s health in many ways. Firstly, stress can increase cortisol and other stress hormones, which can cross the placenta and affect the developing fetus. Studies have shown that high-stress levels during pregnancy can increase the risk of preterm labor, low birth weight, and other complications.
Additionally, working long hours and having high job demands has been associated with an increased risk of preeclampsia, a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure and damage to organs such as the liver and kidneys. Preeclampsia can lead to serious complications for both the mother and baby and even be life-threatening in severe cases.
Furthermore, pregnant women who work long hours or have high job demands may be at an increased risk of developing gestational diabetes, a type of diabetes that develops during pregnancy. This can lead to complications such as premature birth and a higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes later in life.
The OP feels he is looking out for her best interests and their baby too. He must be very worried seeing his wife struggle to keep going, knowing it is doing her and the baby no good.
It’s The Baby That Matters
At the end of the day, the precious baby is the most important person in the story. The OP might be controlling, and the wife might be overworked, but they should both be prioritizing the health of the baby above all else:
“But I don’t blame OP for being somewhat controlling regarding the health of his babies and wife. Someone else commented that OP is not her parent, but he IS those babies’ parent.”
Having a child is the most important thing someone can do. Therefore, both parents should always endeavor to do what suits the child above their own needs.