If your pets could speak, what do you think they would say? Well, we may have just found that out.
We found a conversation that asked the question, “If animals could talk, which species would be the rudest of them all?” and let’s just say the answers were quite satisfying.
From sassy cats to sarcastic squirrels, the animal kingdom has quite an attitude. So, prepare yourself and get ready to chuckle, cringe, and maybe even shed a tear for our injured human egos.
The Calm Before the Sting
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“Wasps.”
“Every single wasp is their special kind of evil, would rid the universe of life if they had the chance.”
“The wasps around my garden are super chill, albeit nosey. I don’t envy those dealing with the roid rage variety.”
“Trust me, roid rage wasps are the least of your worries; the ones that aren’t all roided out are plotting, passing knowledge down through generations, waiting… Never trust a chill wasp… NEVER. They will be passive just enough to gain your trust. They will place footholds and do surveillance. They will colonize surrounding areas. Then soon, they will gather and strike, leaving no survivors in their wake. Whether it takes days or millennia… we stand no chance. We are at their mercy, and to what extent that is, we have no idea. But with the temperament that most wasps hold, we can assume their plans include nothing but the utter destruction of all non-waspkind.”
All For Me
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“Seagulls. MINE!”
“Naw, they’d be super friendly.”
“Oy, mate, you brought my fries right to the pier? Garlic fries?? More like Bromo sapiens, amirite? *yoink* Dankffs!”
Monkeying Around
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“Definitely, baboons.”
“Got slapped by a chimpanzee at the zoo as a kid. I’m sure baboons are a bunch of meanies as well.”
“Have you seen one without fur? That sounds about right. Chimps are brutal and sadistic, though still having all your fingers is a huge success already!”
Kicking Kangaroos
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“Kangaroos.”
“Ever since I saw that video of the kangaroo grabbing that dog and the owner punching him in the face, I have a serious fear and hatred of kangaroos. Also, the post that kangaroos will pretend to be stranded in shallow waters waiting to be rescued so they can drown anyone that helps. Yeah, I’m done.”
Not So Pretty
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“Blue jays.”
“I didn’t think about this one, but I definitely agree. Ever since I saw one stealing and eating a baby bird, I stopped liking them.”
“I understood this reference!”
Hardly Sweet
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“Surprised I haven’t seen it, but Honey Badgers, man. Those things are mean to everything.”
“Last time I was in South Africa, a honey badger woke us up at night by flipping over the garbage can outside. It found some pizza in there, ate all the topping, and left the mess for us to clean up.”
Satan’s Child
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“Geese.”
“Spawns of Satan. If they could talk, they would be even more insufferable.”
“I wouldn’t think ‘rude’ would be the proper word for them, but yes, geese are absolutely hellspawn.”
Cartoon Character
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“Cats or seagulls; I mean, just look at Garfield.”
“I knew someone would say cats! But they seem more brutally honest than rude to me.”
“Cats can tear you up if they have the desire to. I worked at a vet’s office as a vet tech, and sadly, we’re seeing the kitties at their worst moment, but damn! You have to handle them like they’re nitroglycerin…”
Mean Girls
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“Cats, no doubt.”
“Yep. I imagine mine would be equivalent to Regina George, lol”
“My cat already hangs out and has conversations with me. He’d be cool as a cucumber.”
Something to Say
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“Llamas and camels, they spit.”
Trick Question
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“For those saying cats, you’ve been fooled by the dolphins!”
“Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish… IDIOTSSSSS.”
Not Nice
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“Squirrels and/or hummingbirds.”
“Yeah, honestly, hummingbirds are hugely territorial. Beautiful little bullies.”
Ready to Go
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“Wolf spiders. They are always so aggressive, always ready to fight, no matter how stacked the odds are against them. Foolhardy, nasty little bullies.”
The Truth
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“Humans.”
“We are a type of species, I suppose.”
“We also set the bar really high; another animal would have to do some pretty crazy stuff to top us.”
Free Willy 15
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“Orcas.”
“Hell yes, the species that tosses around seals for a laugh because they think it’s fun?…they’d be rude as heck.”
“Right? And they’d be intelligent enough to be real nonsense talkers. I saw the comments saying that cats would be the rudest. But honestly, after watching our cat (Kevin), I’ve drawn the conclusion that cats are too stupid to say anything clever enough to be cutting, lol.”
Angry Fliers
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“Bats.”
“Anyone who has ever had to move one outside would probably agree. Angry little fuzzballs.”
“Fruit bats are chill but too often drenched in their mates’ pee for my liking.”
Clever Cows
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“Definitely cows. They’d be holding a huge vendetta against us for slaughtering them for their flesh.”
Rude Repetition
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“Mockingbirds. They would mock me. And I guess my cats would keep me up in the middle of the night.”
Evil Elephants
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“I’m thinking elephants. Like the one who trampled that dead lady.”
“Elephants are actually extremely emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and capable of forming deep bonds. If an elephant doesn’t like you, that’s hugely telling.”
“Yes, humans clearly suck. And actually, elephants are far better than humans. They don’t have the capacity for hate or juvenile dumb-ass judgment. They don’t have any significant basis for ‘hating’ or even mildly disliking any type of living creature or not. Why must humans be so stunted and two-dimensional? Utterly useless. Jesus.”
More Moths
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“Probably the kind of moths that eat clothes and breed in your food. I can imagine them saying ‘haha’ when you try to cook some rice, and now it’s alive.”
Horrid Hamsters
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“Hamster.”
“My sister had one that would leap to bite me when I was refilling its food bowl or offering treats. I was feeding it because everyone decided it was too dangerous for my little sister to attempt, and my parents kept knocking over the cage when they flinched from getting bit.”
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