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A female student (OP) who attends a highly prestigious university recently shared her experience of facing discrimination and harassment from her male classmates after excelling in her exams. OP, who is one of only a few female students in a male-dominated course, has faced challenges from the beginning due to the competitive and sexist attitudes of her male peers and has now taken to Reddit to ask, “Am I the a**hole for reporting my classmates for joking that I have pretty privilege!?”
Despite OP’s hard work and achievements, her success has been met with aggression and hostility.
The situation escalated and took a sharp turn for the worse when OP did really well in a recent exam and received recognition and praise from their professor during a class, something OP wouldn’t have advertised herself or expected her professor to do. But while this made OP feel really proud of her accomplishments, others were clearly experiencing the green-eyed monster.
“They’re now outright rude and challenge me aggressively in class discussions. We recently had some presentations, and one of them chose to do theirs on, to put it simply, “pretty privilege” – they specifically pointed to two papers that suggested that pretty female students get overscored in assessments. The other guys in the group snickered, and one even gave me a wink. Afterward, I heard them in the hallway joking that “they had experience with that themselves”.
OP tried to ignore their comments but when they persisted, she confided in her supervisor, seeking advice from a woman in academia. The supervisor advised OP to inform their supervisors about their unprofessional conduct, which she did.
However, this worsened the situation, as the male classmates discovered the report was about a female student. They confronted her, asking why she had reported their “silly joke,” One even blamed her for potentially causing him to lose his financial aid/scholarship. The female student feels embarrassed and ashamed, with some of her friends even suggesting that she took things too far.
This situation highlights the challenges women can face in male-dominated fields, and OP isn’t alone in this experience, with one commenter sharing their experience.
“I had a similar experience when I was 21, and I was enlisted in the Air Force in a male-dominated field. I was in a training class with me a colleague and our instructor. I was the only female student, and for some reason, this “instructor” decided, in the middle of his lecture about the difficulties of deployments on my product, it was ok to tell me that if we were deployed together, there’s nothing I can do to stop him hurting me. I confronted him on the subject directly and creepily, and he had answers for everything I argued. Unlike OP, I didn’t go to my supervisor. I was beyond ashamed of what I didn’t know. My co-worker decided to report instead. I’m pretty thankful for that. So, NO, OP. You’re NTA for reporting harassment. Ever.”
And others commented, congratulating OP for standing up for herself in this situation!
“OP, be proud for standing up for yourself even though you were second-guessing it. Their behavior was way more than harmless jokes – they were doing this in front of professors, for goodness’ sake. They wanted you to look bad professionally and people to think less of you. It’s just deserts that now people think of them badly instead.”
“NTA – they know what they’re doing because jokers like this have been doing it for years – undermine your accomplishments, question your abilities, and then act shocked when you stand up for yourself. I’m happy (and somewhat surprised) that the faculty and administration are treating this as seriously as it deserves.”
It is important for universities and academic institutions to take steps to address and prevent discrimination and harassment against women and marginalized groups. Students should be held accountable for their behavior and actions and should be educated on the importance of diversity and inclusivity in academic spaces.
Have you ever experienced discrimination? How did you handle it?
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