A 35-year-old man and his 33-year-old wife are preparing for their first child to be born in December. The OP struggles with chronic pain from various health issues. He works a job where he’s on his feet constantly, unable to find a new job due to personal reasons. He recently went to ask on Reddit if he was an a**hole for wanting more support from his pregnant wife.
On the other hand, his wife quit her job after discovering they were expecting, as they had always planned. However, the man is frustrated with his wife’s recent laziness and constant complaining, and she won’t even make food or clean the house.
He understood that pregnancy could be difficult, but her behavior was causing tension between them. In addition, the man is expected to cook and clean as soon as he gets home from a long day at work, which could be better given his chronic pain.
The issue escalated when the man came home from a 10-hour shift with a flair-up. He asked his wife to order food delivery, but she refused, insisting on only eating home-cooked meals. This led to the man yelling at his wife and telling her to stop complaining and be an adult.
He immediately apologized, but the wife left anyway. A couple of hours later, the man’s mother-in-law called and insulted him, further deteriorating the relationship between his wife and the women in their family.
It is difficult to determine if the man is the “a**hole” in this situation, as this is a complex issue involving various factors, such as the man’s chronic pain, the difficulties of pregnancy, and the expectations and responsibilities placed on each partner. One comment says, “Let’s check in later to see who actually wins the Suffering Olympics.”
Understandably, the man would be frustrated after a long day at work and dealing with chronic pain. It’s also understandable that his wife may struggle with pregnancy’s physical and emotional changes.
It doesn’t seem like either one can empathize and care for the other entirely, but instead, compete in their suffering. One Redditor comments, “I lived with chronic pain, and I’ve been pregnant. So I can compare. And it sounds like neither one of you want actually to be supportive; it’s more of a competition of who has it worse.”
However, it’s concerning that the man yelled at his wife and responded with anger. Communication and empathy are crucial in any relationship, especially during stress and uncertainty.
The man and his wife could benefit from seeking outside support, such as couples therapy or counseling, to help them work through their difficulties. It’s also crucial for both partners to work together to find solutions that work for them rather than placing all the responsibility on one person.
Additionally, it’s inappropriate for the mother-in-law to use disrespectful language and name-calling, as it only adds further strain to the relationship. The wife should not have invited other people’s opinions into the marriage.
One comment states, “Wife tips the scales for me by blabbing her marriage issues to her family and letting her mother harass her husband. That shit’s not okay.” Overall, it’s a complex and challenging situation. Still, the man and his wife can find a resolution with effort and support.
It would be beneficial for both parties to engage in open and honest communication to find a resolution and improve their relationship, especially as they prepare for the arrival of their child. As one commenter points out, “If they’re struggling with this now, christ knows how they’ll deal after the baby is born.”
What do you think? Who is to blame?