A newly-wedded bride shared her wedding problem recently in which her mother-in-law delivered a spontaneous wedding speech – despite being informed that there would be no speeches.
Pet-peeve
The woman explained that she hates wedding speeches, has never understood the point of them, and refused to have them at her own wedding.
“I think they are boring, exhausting, and very, very forced, but having said that, this is just my opinion, and I never forced it on anyone. I have sat through long excoriating speeches without complaining, like any other decent human being.”
She Requested No Wedding Speeches
And requested that if anyone had anything to say, it should be done privately.
“My husband thought it was funny, but he knew my feelings about speeches. We had a small wedding with only loved ones. A weekend long.”
The Day Of The Wedding Arrived
Despite the ‘no speech rule’ being made very clear, someone had other ideas.
“Dinner came, and MIL stood up and started by saying, ‘I know we are forbidden to make speeches by the bride, but this is my only son getting married, so I will do what I want to…’ I didn’t hear the rest because I was seeing red.”
She Was Shocked
The woman was shocked by the mother-in-law’s behavior.
“My sisters and bridesmaids were shocked. I pretended like she wasn’t talking and continued my conversation with my girls. They did the same.”
Mother-in-law Wasn’t Happy
The impromptu speaker wasn’t impressed that her daughter-in-law refused to listen to her speech.
“MIL was furious, both SILs were furious, and my husband was very angry that it showed in his profile. He refused to look at me. The rest of the night was awkward. My husband’s side was sulking in their seats. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t ruined for the rest of us, and we ended up having a blast. The next day, I spent it with my family and friends.”
Disrespect And Humiliation
The bride certainly ruffled some feathers.
“My husband said that I was very wrong in what I did. I couldn’t force MIL to be quiet and he knew she wouldn’t, no matter how much we told her. I shouldn’t have disrespected and humiliated her like this. Our marriage started on the wrong foot, it seems.”
She Wanted To Know If Her Actions Were Wrong
With the matrimony off to an uncomfortable start, the woman took to an online community forum to ask if she was wrong for reacting the way she did.
The community had much to say.
What A Disrespectful Woman
Voters sided with the bride and assured her that her mother-in-law was very much wrong.
“Well, that’s unfortunate that the day you got married, you found out your husband’s always gonna pick his mom over you. Such disrespect from MIL.”
The Marriage May Well Be Doomed
One user didn’t hold back their opinion: “Your husband showed you who he prioritizes, and it isn’t you. Expect this behavior to escalate. Kids? You know she’s going to want to be in the room because IT’S HER ONLY SON’S BABY, and it’s her right. She’s going to demand naming rights and move in to ‘help.’
It’s early enough to get annulled (divorced, whichever. Just away from this family) if you (rightly) decide you deserve someone better. You are NTA right now, but you will be to yourself if you lock yourself to being second place to this emotionally stunted family.”
Monster-in-law
Users agreed the mother-in-law is a scheming, meddling, manipulative woman and is likely to make the marriage an unhappy one.
“You set a firm boundary, and your husband allowed his mother to trample all over it. Worse, not only did he not back you, he actively took her side. Do not let this continue. And let him know—it’s not about the speech; it’s not about the mother-in-law. It’s about him choosing the comfort of his mother over that of his wife the very first chance he got.
Dysfunctional Family
The groom and his family seem to be rather toxic. One user said this:
“He just made it clear his mother is his priority. If you haven’t filed that marriage license yet, you might want to reconsider. He likely gave his mother permission, which is why he didn’t attempt to stop it and is upset with you.”
Spineless Man
Everyone agreed the OP is certainly not wrong – the mother-in-law and her son are.
“Your husband couldn’t even back you up & shut that woman down on your wedding day. What happens when she steamrolls you when you have kids & your spineless husband does nothing about it?”
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