A bride-to-be went online recently to find out whether she was wrong for declining her fiancé’s pastor to say grace at their wedding reception.
Opposing Religious Beliefs.
“I’m (32F) not Christian while my husband (32M) is. He wants to have the church pastor say grace before the start of the ceremony, but I feel it is a bit disrespectful and feel like religion should be personal. He’s upset, saying I’m intolerant to his religion.”
So Far, It’s Not Been an Issue.
“We talked about it while dating, and he was ok with me practicing mine [Hindu], and he did his thing. We raise our children with universal values and I come to church on special occasions and he joins me for mine.”
Change of Opinion.
All of a sudden, the set-up became an issue for the man.
“Recently he changed his stand and he gets upset because I don’t follow him to church and his church members always ask where I am.”
Neutral Wedding.
“We compromised on having a neutral reception because we couldn’t do a church or temple wedding.”
The woman wanted to know if she was in the wrong for putting her foot down there.
They Need to Sort This Out.
One user said the marriage is doomed to fail if they can’t reach an accord here.
“If you cannot figure out how to manage your difference in religion for your wedding, how will you manage it in other aspects of your life together?”
No Need for a Pastor at Dinner.
“His religion does not require that a pastor say grace before a wedding dinner. They can offer a moment of silence so people can pray or meditate or imagine a battle between gummy worms and gummy bears on the big rock candy mountain.”
It Seems He Expected to Change Her Mind.
One user pointed out how problematic it is that all of a sudden, the future hubby seems to have an issue with her not being a Christian.
“It sounds like he assumed he would gradually ‘convert’ you. He must have always known his church would expect you to spend more and more time there.”
Potential Indoctrination Issues.
“I’ve seen so many situations where partners have different religions or cultural backgrounds and have a verbal agreement that one party decides to go back on. They had an agreement. OP [original poster] needs to decide if she’s okay with her and her children slowly being indoctrinated?”
Most Users Believed He Was the Jerk Here.
“He wasn’t ‘okay’ with it. That was just a platonic way of saying, ‘This isn’t an issue because when we get married, you will convert to my religion.’ He didn’t change his stance and is just playing the long game.”
“He didn’t mean any of it. He thought that over time you would acquiesce. He is already mad you don’t follow him to church.”
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