OP (27F) was the maid of honor at her best friend Jo’s (28F) wedding. Jo was okay with OP not wearing makeup, but most of the other bridesmaids and the groom Henry (35M), ended up having to talk to OP heatedly.
During the reception, Henry pulled OP aside and told her that it was inappropriate for her not to be wearing makeup, as it upstaged the bride, and a woman shouldn’t attend a public event without makeup. OP felt terrible and apologized to Jo, but Jo was confused as she had no problem with OP’s choice.
Henry and his friends have been texting OP nonstop, accusing her of ruining the wedding and marriage. Some of OP and Jo’s friends are also saying that OP should have just worn the makeup and that a wedding wasn’t the right place to make a political statement.
Jo, on the other hand, insists that OP wasn’t in the wrong and the bridesmaids and Jo’s mom are on their side. OP is now questioning whether she was actually in the wrong, but she insists that she hadn’t intended to make a political statement at the wedding and would have worn the makeup if Jo had asked her to.
It Wasn’t About the Makeup
Redditors were interested in this unusual situation and often motioned towards the idea that this was not as it first appeared. Although the story was about a complaint about make-up, there may be a more sister undertone to the issue:
“Yeah, OP, in cases like this, it isn’t about the makeup. I bet your friend has seen red flags from Henry but ignored them, or he justified what he did. This situation might have been the final straw, or her moment where she realized, “Wait, is that just who he is?” He went to HER friend. He insulted HER friend. He did it behind HER back.”
This is a great warning sign for everyone, especially the bride. The only person that should have cared about the makeup was the bride, who clearly was happy for OP to wear it no. Therefore, it is very strange that Henry is insistent that it is a problem.
Many have even gone as far as to suggest that Henry is a narcissist displaying controlling and concerning red flags. There was no reason for his anger and abuse, never mind getting his friends to gang up on her too.
There is even a suggestion that the OP should tell her friend to stand against Henry for this strange behavior. There is no doubt that there have been several other red flags that have gone overlooked by the bride.
Something Isn’t Right
The fact that this issue arose directly after the wedding has made Redditors pay attention to the details. Why was it okay for Henry to be so angry right after the ceremony:
“That’s no accident. He’s married hours and suddenly decides he can now decide which of her friends measure up. That guy thinks the wedding ceremony is when a woman turns into a piece of furniture.”
It is reasonable to suggest that he was waiting for them to be finally married before he began to show his true colors. He thinks he has the right to do as he pleases and cast judgments he had never mentioned before.
Many in the thread have noted that he would have known about the lack of make-up well before the ceremony. Therefore, he would have had plenty of time to address the issue earlier.
Also, he has gone behind his bride’s back to pretend as if he is doing it for her, even though she stated that it was no problem. It makes the commenters suspect this is a more sinister red flag than it initially appears.