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Motherhood is a hard job, no matter how you slice it! From the tantrums to the mysterious rashes and brand new experiences, there is so much to learn and master. When mothers have questions, it’s great to have other moms to consult and get feedback from. This has led to the creation of a number of mommy Facebook groups. These groups and social media, in general, are likely the cause of so many new labels for moms. If you haven’t heard the term silky mom, crunchy mom, or scrunchy mom yet, I have all of the info you need!
According to The Snap Mom, a Silky Mom is “nicknamed the Modern Mother, who prefers medicated hospital birth, bottle feeding/part-time breastfeeding, uses rice cereals, disposable diapers, crib sleeping, is pro-circumcising, pro-vaccinating, mostly stroller using and one who closely follows the advice of established medical authority.”
Interesting, right? The Snap Mom also states that “Silky moms often tend to be moms who use sleep training methods like “CIO” (cry it out) and rely on modern products for convenience”.
So, in other words, if you parent in this particular way, you are grouped into a bucket as a silky mom? I am not quite sure who comes up with all of these labels but I would venture to guess that various mommy Facebook groups and forums have something to do with this. See, as far as I knew, mothers were mothers and each one did things differently, based on what they felt was best for their child. Apparently, we have labels to live up to now!
If you don’t fit into the grouping of a Silky mom, you just might be what is referred to as a Crunchy mom! This is a pretty specific definition of standards that these so-called “crunchy moms” live up to.
According to The Snap Mom, the name Crunchy Mom has an interesting story. “Crunchy refers to the crunch of granola, which (as goes the stereotype) hippie-esque people are likely to eat.” So, what exactly IS a crunchy mom? Well, luckily, The Snap Mom has the details for us! According to them, “To be crunchy is to be along the mindset of all-natural.” Hm, that doesn’t sound so bad. Here are some of the examples given on their website for things Crunchy moms may identify with.
“Natural birthing, home-birthing, placenta encapsulating, breastfeeding, babywearing, baby-led weaning, cloth diapering, ECing (elimination communication), co-sleeping, bed sharing, non or selective vaccinating, anti-circumcision, attachment parenting techniques, homeschooling or un-schooling, natural medicine (lots of probiotics), natural living, organic eating plus many more that would fall into that same train of thought.”
Wow. That’s quite the listing! I know that oftentimes people in general who live a more natural lifestyle (organic foods, alternative medicines, etc) get generalized as being natural living or modern-hippies. I suppose I had just never known that this was broken down even further to generalize the way that moms choose to parent!
So, what if you breastfeed and cloth diaper but you also opt for a medicated home-birth and choose to fully vaccinate? No fear, momma, there’s a grouping for you too!
You are hereby deemed, Scrunchy Mom! This is, as you can imagine, a mother who is a mixture of a Silky mom and a Crunchy mom. They fit into both categories and therefore, of course, get their own category!
According to The Snap Mom, a Scrunchy Mom is “a mixture of both a silky and crunchy mom. For example, a scrunchy mommy may formula feed and vaccinate as well as hospital birth but may use cloth diapers and make their own baby food.”
So, now that we know all about the various labels and what they mean, let’s discuss some pros and cons of grouping mothers into these generic buckets, based on their parenting choices.
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Pros of Categorizing Mothers
– This may give mothers a feeling of “belonging” when they find a certain group they fit into.
– Moms can easily describe their parenting style as well as an overall lifestyle with just a simple term.
– There is always the chance that grouping yourself into a specific category like this may make it easier for you to find and connect with other moms. We all need mom-friends, right?
Cons of Categorizing Mothers
– Grouping ourselves into these categories is an extremely easy way to make other moms who may be slightly different, feel as if they don’t belong. So, while it is listed as a pro, for this reason, it’s always a huge con!
– We are limiting ourselves greatly in our growth as mothers by saying we are this one specific type or that one specific type. Isn’t it important to do what we feel is best for ourselves and our children, whether it fits into a certain grouping or not?
– This can easily lead to false facts. New moms are notorious for seeking out information and answers to questions online. This is actually not a bad thing, it can be an amazing resource for answers when a momma is up at 3 am and needs tips to get baby to take her bottle or get back to sleep! The problem is, by creating these labels and groupings, we are telling moms that they have to do things this way if they are this type of mom, and that way if they are that type of mom. Realistically, aren’t we all just doing the best we can, in whatever way we know how?
– Utilizing categories and labels for mothers is a foolproof way to push other moms away, harm friendships, and at times, even lead to intense debates and unfriendly encounters. As mothers, we all suffer the same struggles in raising children. We all want to be the best possible mother, whether that makes us Silky, Crunchy, Scrunchy, or just plain real life everyday moms!
Modern Mothers Need Unity
As a mother for the past (almost) 7 years, I can say that things change so rapidly. One day doctors are recommending one thing and the next day that’s the worst advice possible. We go from “breastfed is best” to simply “fed is best”, which I am sure we can all agree is a hot topic for debate.
We all have our opinions and thoughts and we all do things in the ways that allow us to remain sane while keeping these tiny humans alive and thriving. I don’t know a single mother who doesn’t do everything she can to give her baby the best possible upbringing, health, and education- wise.
It almost seems as though creating labels for mothers is a way for us to put each other down or shame one another for having different styles. Maybe Crunchy moms want to vaccinate but feel as though to be true to their “mom identity” they must fit into all of the groupings of a crunchy mom. Silky moms may be yearning to make their own baby food but don’t want to come off as a “Crunchy Mom” so they either opt not to or they simply don’t tell anyone their plans.
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No one fits perfectly into 1 bucket…
There is always the chance that you planned for a natural home-birth but things went sideways and you ended up in the hospital with an epidural and a happy healthy baby. You don’t have to feel guilty for this. You don’t have to feel as though you failed because you did what you needed to do to keep yourself healthy while bringing your beautiful baby into this world.
We are a tribe, as mothers. There is no one who understands motherhood better than the mothers around us. Whether you bottle feed or breastfeed, cloth diaper or disposable, eat organic or sneak your little ones bites of your chicken nuggets, you are still going to face toddler tantrums, diaper blowouts, sick kids, and hours spent worrying.
Every Mom has the same goal…
While we are all different, we are all the same. We are raising the future generation and hopefully, doing our best to make sure they have the best possible chance at a bright future into adulthood. Rather than judge, label, and diversify mothers, let’s stick together in this journey.
Reach out to the mom who cloth diapers and ask her questions instead of judging her styles. Grab coffee with that mom who fully vaccinated her child, and discuss your different choices. Enlighten each other and grow from your differences.
Don’t be a labeled mom.
Be the best mom you know how to be. Be you. After all, a mother’s love is the best gift we give our children.
What do you think of these new mom labels? Let us know in the comments below!