Have people ever tried to convince you you’re in the wrong for not putting up with them mistreating you?
A man has gone to the Reddit community Am I The A**hole—also known as AITA for short—wondering if he really is in the wrong for dropping out of his brother’s wedding after the newlyweds were bigoted towards his wife.
The thirty-six-year-old man, OP, tells us that he was intended to be the best man at his thirty-year-old brother’s wedding, a role that he was seemingly quite happy with.
Opting for a child-free wedding, the nuptial couple asked that children under twelve not attend. Still, understanding that many of their guests had young kids, they hired a professional sitter to look after them at a nearby venue. So far, so good. It’s what happened. Next, that’ll shock you.
OP’s wife is physically disabled due to some injuries. As a result, she can be a little slow to understand what others are saying and respond to things. For example, sometimes she needs help eating, and OP will cut her food. She is, however, very much a cognitively aware adult and a “smart, capable woman,” says OP.
After the rehearsal dinner, OP was pulled aside by his future sister-in-law, who confusingly started talking to him about the additional venue with the babysitter for under twelve. She then asked if OP’s wife had any specific food preferences, assuring him they would ensure extra food for her there. With the children. Excluded from the wedding.
At first, OP was confused. He didn’t understand what his future sister-in-law was getting at until she outright stated that she thought his wife would “be better suited” to stay with the kids and babysat. Bad enough, but she went on, telling OP that he wouldn’t have to “feed her or anything” and that he could “have fun at the wedding” instead.
Unsurprisingly, OP blew up. He told his future sister-in-law that he’d never heard such appalling nonsense. Attempting to reassure him, his brother told him it was for the best and that he could always check up on her.
It backfired; OP told the pair that if that was how they would treat his wife, he wanted nothing to do with them or their marriage and dropped out as best man. Good for him.
This started a massive row. OP says that while some of his social circle think he was right, his parents had called and told him it was the newlyweds’ decision how they wanted their wedding to be, and told OP to “get over his ego” and go anyway.
OP did not go. The two brothers are now on rocky ground with each other, each telling the other they “expected better” of them. OP’s new sister-in-law is convinced that he “ruined” her big day as a deliberate attack, despite the wedding having gone fine.
Well, we know what we think. Neither OP nor his wife should have to put up with these people, and we wish the wedding had been ruined. This is disgusting ableist behavior and grounds for cutting the newlyweds.
“OP and his wife are definitely NTA in this, and everyone else in that family is absolutely horrid,” says one comment. “I would have thrown the freaking vows in their face. “I didn’t realize that in sickness and in health meant so little to you, my family.” Then stare them all right in the eyes and go, “And I hope you have as much love for your spouse as I do for my wife, as this just shows to me that if even the slightest inconvenience heads your way, they’ll leave you with a ‘sitter’ while they go have some fun.”
Some Redditors said to ditch the parents too. They said they “don’t agree” but told OP that reacting to his wife’s mistreatment was somehow egotistical. Would they have said that if a non-disabled family member had been insulted? We doubt it.
SHE SELFISHLY DENIED HER GRIEVING PARENTS IN LAW CLOSURE BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO KEEP HER DECEASED HUSBAND’S RING. SHOULD SHE RETURN IT?
HIS AUDACIOUS DEMAND FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND TO COVER UP BACKFIRED WHEN HER RESPONSE LEFT HIM FEELING EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED.
SHE OUTRIGHT REJECTED HER YOUNG STEPSON’S HEARTFELT GIFT COLD, BUT HER HUSBAND WAS OUTRAGED BY HER CALLOUSNESS AS UNFORGIVABLE