A 54-year-old male took to Reddit to look for backing for his decision not to give his daughter the money her grandparents set up for her in an education fund.
While the father of two was sure he was correct in his decision to give his son but not his daughter the money his parents invested in them, people were swift to call him out.
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The Background
In a recent Am I The A**hole (AITA) post, a frustrated dad took to the forum hoping that he would agree to withhold money his parents set aside for his daughter’s education.
He justified not giving his daughter the money because she had scholarships covering most of her college fees. And that she seemed happy living in her small apartment and learned to budget effectively.
However, there appeared to be some underlying resentment as to what his daughter was studying, stating that he has his wife attended graduate school. They were “worried about her ability to find a job, but she insisted on studying music and film in college.”
To make matters worse, their son, who took a job in engineering after finishing his STEM college course, was given the money his grandparents set aside for him. As a result, the dad argued, “He was able to get a large and nice apartment of his own close to the school, which is important since his classes are so demanding and he needs a comfortable space to work.”
People were quick to point out how unfair his decision was, saying. “I think it’s elitism around what their kids decided to study – they seem to think engineering is more demanding course-wise, so the son deserved access to the fund”.
Another user commented, “Right? She had to pay for her additional expenses. Still, the son gets them covered because the parents assume his degree is harder (being in the stem). Absolute AHs”
The consensus was that it was different from the father’s money to play with. He should have followed his parents’ wishes regardless of what he thought about the choice of degree taken by his kids.
People said, “Here’s the deal- it IS their money. It was set up for their college education and not by you. You chose to put strings on the money. Maybe if you’d told your daughter about the fund and given her options, she would have chosen to go to grad school or maybe do a double major.”
The annoyance at the father’s actions was shared with his daughter and the Reddit readers he was begging to be backed up by.
Upon discovering her father’s deception, his daughter asked if she could withdraw the money. But she was hurt by her father’s refusal, as he said there would be a fee for non-educational withdrawals.
The father is now dismayed that his daughter is short with him. He and his wife are not getting any replies to their texts. The original poster (OP) ended his post by stating, “I know that it seems unfair to her, but it’s not her money in the first place, and she’s no longer in college. Plus, her brother only received it.”
The last statement infuriated people even further, with one declaring “the college fund you said “wasn’t even her money” but isn’t yours either!! What exactly do YOU plan to do with HER college money? YTA FOR THIS”
In an updated post, the OP had taken onboard feedback from the responses and reached out to apologize to his daughter and offer her the money.
His daughter felt it was too little, too late, and declined the money, again gaining Reddit readers’ empathy. People insist that the daughter gets the money in one way or another as this would be the fairest thing to do. One person said, “Whatever fees, whatever lawyers need to be involved, he needs to get her the money back stat.”
The OP posted a further response about how his parents cannot decide what to do with the money. And revealed that his wife and daughter already have a strained relationship. which makes you question the real reasons the children were treated so differently.
The OP says, “I hope this does not end our relationship,” but something says it will take a lot for him to recover from his a**hole status.
Do you think it’s wrong of the dad to keep the money? Or do you think it is his right?
HIS MORAL STAND AGAINST DISCRIMINATION LEFT HIS FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW REFUSING TO ATTEND HIS WEDDING.
Source: Reddit
