When getting acquainted with a possible love interest, we wanted to know what traits come across as clingy.
They Expect You To Be Available 24/7
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“If they text/call and you miss it for a legit reason, but they’re still upset with you… that’s a bad sign. A very bad one. A partner needs to be okay with you not being available 24/7.”
Social Media Expectations
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“I saw you were on Facebook, why didn’t you like the picture I posted?”
On a similar note, my ex-boyfriend pulled a similar thing. We had been dating for a while, and one day, he got upset because I didn’t change my profile picture to one of us on New Year’s Eve.”
Making a Big Deal Out of Canceled Dates
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“Making a big deal if you need to postpone a date. Life happens outside of just you, and if s/he can’t accept that, then it’s a dead giveaway. This is a high-maintenance person.”
Passive-Aggressive Memes/Quotes
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“If they passive-aggressively post memes or statuses about something that you did without directly mentioning you, probably in the hopes that you will see it and message them about it.
Just come to me directly with your problem. Don’t post another ‘If you can’t handle me at my worst…’ status…”
Control Freak
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“When they act like a strict parent and forbid you from doing things (jealousy is something you can allow to pass, but a control freak? bye).”
Extreme Jealousy
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“If you mention a guy/girlfriend’s name and your SO gets jealous, run. My ex was the extremely jealous type. Once, he got mad at me because he imagined other guys talking to me. He was so insecure and sure of me cheating on him that he cheated on me and threatened to make my life a living hell if I ever did the same. Sooooo get out while you can.”
Coming On Too Strong
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“The guy was nice, successful, and fun to be around, but there was something off about how quickly he seemed to like me. On our 2nd date, he kept going on about how ‘you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met,’ by our 3rd date, he was telling me, ‘I’ve told all my friends about you, how I’m seeing the perfect girl.’ I think this was a compliment in his mind, but for me, it was a huge red flag.”
Negative Attitude Towards You
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“Not willing to let little stuff go/waiting for you to screw up. My last girlfriend would constantly assume the worst of me over the stupidest little thing.”
How They Treat Their Mom
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“I always look at how they treat their mom… Are they standoffish? Or do they do everything their mom says? Or do they have a normal relationship with boundaries?”
Mind Games
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“If she tries to make me jealous. The fact that she thinks it’s OK to make me unhappy so that she can have a little confidence boost.”
Communication Bombardment
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“Texting ‘Good morning’ and ‘Goodnight’ every day after a first date. Also, the constant ‘What are you doing?’ Unless they have something to say actually to start a conversation, I find this constant checking-in annoying.”
Weird Religious Stuff
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“Wanting you to visit their church very early on. They’re either trying to convert you or to get the approval of their ‘church family.’”
Are They OK With Friends of the Opposite Sex
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“How they react/interact with my female friends is usually a telltale sign. If they get jealous or kind of catty, then that’s usually a sign of the crazies.”
All Their Exes Are Crazy
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“If all their exes are ‘crazy’ or ‘psycho,’ they’re probably crazy themselves.”
Drama Mongering
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“When she starts manufacturing things to be mad at your friends about. She is creating a wedge so that she can eventually force you to cut them off completely so you can focus 100% on her. Bad sign.”
Checking Your Phone Without Permission
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“Want to check your phone to see if you are talking to someone else. If they ask to check your phone or just do it w/o your permission. Exes who you like to hook up with are especially bad at this, that’s why they are exes.”
Jokes About the Future
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“For me, jokes about the future, like: ‘I wonder if we had kids, how they’d look,’ and other jokes similar to that.”
Showing Up Without Warning
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“A relatively new SO showing up at your house or work with little or no advance notice. ‘Just thought I’d see what you were up to.’
‘Was on the way past yours and wondered if you wanted to get coffee.’ Wanting to do things together at the spur of the moment is not usual early relationship practice, at least not for me.”
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