A Dad recently turned to Am I The A**hole (AITA) to get opinions on whether he was wrong to have walked out of his son’s wedding. He explained that he walked out because his son denied the original poster’s (OP) wife, the son’s stepmom, a dance.
A Strained Relationship
Giving context to his son’s relationship with his stepmom, the OP said that after his son’s mom passed away, things became strained, and the son went live with his aunt when the OP got married.
While they did not see each other for much of the son’s late teens and early 20s, things seemed to improve, and the OP and his wife were invited to the son’s wedding.
All appeared to be going well until the OP found out that his son had denied his wife a mom-son dance, with the son dancing with his aunt instead. The OP described how he felt irritated and upset by his son’s actions.
He eventually left the wedding with his wife in tow. After speaking to his dad, the son stated how his aunt was “basically a mother to him” and that his stepmom should not get “special treatment.” The son went on to say that his dad had ruined his special day, and there was no reason for his dad and his stepmom to leave.
It is safe to say that the overwhelming response to the post was that the OP was indeed the a**hole. One commentator said, “Your wife has never been his mother, and he has every right not to have a mother/son dance with her.
“I strongly suspect this isn’t the first time you’ve chosen your wife over your son, which is probably why he moved in with his aunt.” Another went on to state that the OP must have known that there was no relationship between his wife and son when they said ” “Jordan (the son) never really considered Natalie, his mom” … so no need for a mother-son dance.”
Like many posters, the dad appeared more concerned about his feelings than his sons. One person said, “Way to make your son’s wedding about you and your wife. You already said he never considered her his mom, so why did you expect him to invite her to do something traditional for mothers and sons? “
It seems a shame that the OP’s wife and son were beginning to get along before the wedding fiasco. One poster echoed this: “It sounds like the son was starting to build a relationship with her. Congrats on ruining all the hard work your wife and son put in towards being comfortable with each other”.
This is a tricky rift to heal, and we are unsure where the dad and son’s relationship will go. However, the lesson learned here is to follow your kid’s wishes when it is their (sic) wedding and to respect their relationships with other people they feel are important to them.
One poster agreed with us and gave the OP some good advice: “She is not a replacement mother to him, and your attempts to force that issue will cost you your son if he hasn’t already reached that point with your terrible behavior at his wedding.”
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