Sure, none of us are perfect, but there’s a fine line between not being perfect and just being a straight-up Jerk! These are 18 tell-tale signs that you (or someone else) is in dire need of some self-improvement.
Using Information Against Others
Few things are more insidious and conniving than getting to know someone for the sake of then using a person’s information against them. It doesn’t matter if this is in friendships, relationships, the workplace, or anywhere else – it’s not okay.
Zero Accountability
Sometimes we mess up, but here’s the tea – that’s okay. To err is human, to forgive divine (that goes for ourselves and others). But it’s imperative we hold ourselves accountable, apologize if need be, and move on. Refusal to admit fault is a big red flag.
Shifting The Blame
Perhaps this is the organic follow-on from having zero accountability. Dumping the blame on someone else for your own mess-up is as sneaky and icky as denying all knowledge of said mess-up. Actually, it’s worse.
Selective Niceness
This can mean only being nice for the sake of gain (for example, conning someone into believing you’re a nice person to be in a relationship with), or only being nice to people you respect or believe to be on your level.
Proud of Lousy Traits
“I tell it how it is!” or “I’m brutally honest”. These aren’t admirable qualities. Nine times out of ten they are flimsy masks that people hide behind in order to be unkind.
Gaslighting
For those not in the know, gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that entails insinuating that someone is crazy/overreacting/wrong/etc. when they call you out on your questionable actions. The term ‘gaslight’ comes from the 1944 movie of the same name, which features this exact emotionally abusive tactic.
“Jokes” at the Expense of Others
There’s a fine line between friendly banter and tearing someone down for your own amusement. And everyone knows that. Those who waltz straight past this line are bullies who enjoy making others feel small.
Treating the Waiter Badly
The way you treat people who are paid to serve/be nice to you says everything about who you are as a person. We should all treat the janitor the same way we treat the CEO.
Malicious Gossiping
We’re all guilty of gossiping from time to time, but there should be a line drawn in the sand when it comes to a bit of harmless tea-spilling to outright malevolent gossiping about a person’s private affairs/appearance/lifestyles/etc.
Being Mean to Animals
All animals should be treated with respect – not just the cute and cuddly ones. Cruelty to animals – be it bloodsports, teasing, hunting, agricultural abuse, or violence – makes you the lowest of the low.
Refusal to Grow
Deliberate stagnation is a form of stubbornness and ignorance and it denotes a belief of superiority. We’re all students in this thing called life – we never stop learning and evolving.
Lack of Respect for Boundaries
If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, you can bet they are an abusive person. Irrespective of whether it’s in a friendship, family situation, romantic setting, or workplace if someone tries to dump on your boundaries – run.
Deliberate Lack of Communication
This could be giving someone the silent treatment when they’ve upset you, or deliberately withholding information a person has a right to know – either way it is grade-a garbage behavior.
Refusal to Compromise
Lack of compromise = selfishness. Most likely they expect you to compromise up to your eyeballs, but will not extend you the same courtesy. No one likes a hypocrite.
Refusing to Abide by Laws
Laws are in place to keep us safe – they’re not there to infringe upon our rights. If someone you know deliberately breaks the rules in a way that seems to have no rhyme or reason, you can bet your bottom dollar they think they are above the law.
Lack of Manners
It’s not difficult to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Manners are such a small but mighty way to show kindness, respect, or gratitude. So if someone is refusing to use them, it suggests they are lacking in all three of these qualities.
Picking on Kids
Kids are easy targets and anyone who exploits that is a dumpster fire of a human. While it may seem like a harmless joke/prank to you, it can be extremely demoralizing or degrading to a child. Save the banter for your buddies.
Throwing Someone Under the Bus to Get Ahead
This is a surprisingly common occurrence in the workplace when a promotion gets dangled about, but it is not exclusive to that environment. People who will stop at nothing to succeed are not good people to be around. Detach and avoid.
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