Forget what you’ve heard about having an “out there” personality; sometimes, it’s the little things that make someone seem less than interesting. Let’s look at 18 subtle traits and behaviors that can give off that “boring” vibe. Just remember that we’re not here to judge. We’re just trying to understand how small tweaks in our behavior can change how other people see us.
Not Really Listening
It’s never fun trying to talk to someone who’s just waiting for their turn to speak rather than truly listening. When you interact with other people, you have to hear them out and respond based on what they say instead of just nodding along and planning your next comment. Active listening is the best conversation skill of all.
Talking in One Tone
We’ve all had those conversations with someone who has a voice that’s just one long, flat line. If you’re sharing something exciting but sound like you’re reading the phone book, people are only ever going to tune out. Instead, try changing your pitch and pace so that what you say sounds fun, which can show other people that you’re into the conversation.
Same Old Topics
If you always go back to the same old subjects, like your job or the weather, don’t be surprised if people start getting bored with you. You have to throw new topics into the mix to keep things fresh, like talking about a recent movie you’ve seen or asking about a book they’re reading. After all, everyone loves to share a bit about their hobbies.
Shifty Eyes
Never underestimate the power of eye contact, as it shows you’re confident and interested in the conversation. This makes it way more exciting to talk to you. Maintaining eye contact can also help you build trust and make the other person feel valued because you’re actually invested in the conversation.
Hardly Laughing
Laughter really is contagious, and not joining in on a joke can make you seem like a pretty uninteresting person. You don’t have to be in stitches every second as long as you share a quick laugh occasionally so you can connect with other people. Even if it doesn’t make you best friends, wouldn’t you much rather be laughing than sitting in silence?
Stuck in a Rut
Sticking to a strict daily routine without ever trying anything new makes your stories and experiences boring, so it’s well worth breaking out of your comfort zone now and then. It’ll keep life interesting, both for you and for those you’re talking to. It doesn’t need to be anything too major, as just going on a weekend trip or practicing a new hobby should be enough.
No Pep
Nobody wants to talk to someone who doesn’t have any energy, so don’t let that be you. A little bit of oomph goes a long way in making your discussions more enjoyable and also makes people think you’re an enthusiastic person. When you bring a bit of joy to your “hello,” other people are more likely to respond the same way, meaning there will never be a dull moment.
Rare Smiles
A person who hardly ever smiles comes off as standoffish, so make sure you flash those pearly whites when you’re talking. Not only will it warm up your face, but it’ll also make you more approachable and fun to be around. When you smile, it’s easier for others to relax around you and open up, as they know you’re happy to be part of the conversation.
Keeping Opinions to Yourself
If you never share your thoughts or take a stand on anything, you’re hardly going to add anything to conversations. Sharing your viewpoint can give people a different perspective while also making conversations more lively, meaning it’s pretty important to use your voice. After all, it might help the other person to see things in a whole new way.
Playing It Too Safe
Similarly, people who don’t share much about themselves often miss out on deeper connections, which can make them seem less interesting. Letting others in a bit doesn’t mean spilling all your secrets, just do it enough to improve your conversations. This way, you can create a personal connection with the other person and actually enjoy each other’s company.
Over-Explaining
At the same time, don’t keep going on about every single detail in your stories because this will only make listeners tune out. Even if you have your reasons for doing so, you should try to keep your anecdotes crisp and to the point. If you keep things relevant, you respect your friends’ time and keep them interested, which means your stories will probably stick in their minds.
No Hobbies or Passions
When someone doesn’t really have hobbies or things they’re passionate about, other people can tell, and conversations can feel a bit flat. Of course, you shouldn’t constantly talk about your own interests, but talking a little about them will make your conversations more exciting. Sharing your excitement can spark a connection or even help other people find new interests.
Dodging Social Events
Avoiding social events means missing out on fun times and good stories, which is why you should make an effort to be there. It’s the best way to get you in the mix and start talking about all sorts of things with all sorts of people. Better yet, every event you go to is a chance to add a little something to your daily life and keep things from getting too dull.
Complaining Non-Stop
Constant complaining can really drag down the mood, and if that sounds like you, don’t be surprised if people aren’t too keen on hanging around. Try flipping the script by focusing on the positives or thinking of ways to deal with what’s bothering you. This way, you’ll make every interaction more upbeat and inviting.
Unwilling to Change Your Mind
There’s no point in sticking so firmly to your own views without thinking about other people, as this will just shut down any potentially enlightening conversations. It’s always nice to meet someone who’s open to different perspectives because it can take a conversation from “meh” to “fascinating.” You should try to be that someone.
Glued to Your Phone
When your eyes are stuck staring at your phone during social settings, it tells those around you that you’re not really there with them, which makes you a boring person. Put the phone away so you can actually engage with the people you’re with because you might be surprised at the results. After all, you can’t live your life through a screen.
Out of the Loop
If you’re not up-to-date on current events, you might find yourself a bit lost in conversations. Of course, you don’t have to obsess over the news, but knowing a little about what’s happening can make you a better participant in discussions. It’ll also show that you take an active interest in the world beyond your immediate circle, and that’s always a good thing.
Not Curious About Others
Not asking people about their lives and interests comes off as being disinterested, which will likely cause the other person to feel the same way. But when you do show curiosity, it makes conversations more two-sided and keeps the conversation flowing. Don’t go too personal, just ask some questions every so often about their story and life.
18 Things You Should Probably Stop Doing After Age 50
18 Things You Should Probably Stop Doing After Age 50
19 Products Marketed Almost Exclusively To Stupid People
19 Products Marketed Almost Exclusively To Stupid People
No Boomers Allowed: 15 States Where Retirees Are Not Welcome
No Boomers Allowed: 15 States Where Retirees Are Not Welcome
18 Disturbing Conspiracy Theories You Laughed Off But Were Actually True
18 Disturbing Conspiracy Theories You Laughed Off But Were Actually True
18 Everyday Phrases Unintentionally Reflecting White Privilege
18 Everyday Phrases Unintentionally Reflecting White Privilege