With divorce rates always increasing, many of us are attempting to understand our relationships and determine what makes or breaks a marriage.
These 15 male online community members share the moment they sensed their union wasn’t all it cracked up to be.
Abuse
Domestic abuse goes both ways, and it’s not just physical. One user explained how the mental abuse he experienced nearly drove him over the edge: “Mostly it was the emotional abuse and the wanting to kill me most days.”
Unfortunately, these experiences are only too familiar: “It’s like, are we arguing about this right now? Death by a thousand cuts,” another user agreed.
Infidelity
Very few relationships recover from infidelity. One user shared the shocking way he found out his wife had been unfaithful.
“I’m white. She’s also white. But miraculously, she birthed black twins. Coincidentally her co-worker in the sales department is also black. So my close friends convinced me those black twins would look better in her co-worker’s arms.”
Dreading Going Home
Sometimes it takes driving home from work and realizing you’d rather be at work.
“Going home felt like a job for a while, [I] thought about driving elsewhere. Luckily enough, we managed to work things out through communication.”
Intimate Life Died
When the intimacy dies, the rest of the marriage isn’t far behind. “Getting rejected week after week, I was like, gosh, am I supposed to accept to live without intimacy for the rest of my adult life?”
Another user agreed: “I got to the point of thinking, ‘If this is the amount of unappreciated intimacy and affection I’m getting now in our prime, will it be better or worse 20 years from now?’”
Feeling Lonelier in a Relationship
When you realize you feel more lonely in a relationship, the very point of the relationship has failed. “I read this exact sentiment in a similar thread some time ago: ‘She robbed me of my solitude without providing me companionship.’”
Cost
Adding up the cost of a wedding can be pretty eye-watering: “Paying the tens of thousands to attorneys to end it. That got me thinking. How much money do we waste on this archaic ceremony? The engagement ring, the dress you will only wear once, the venue, the open bar, the DJ/band, the food, etc … This adds up to tens of thousands for many people, and then they have to spend that or more to end it. Marriage is just a scam to get people to waste money. Why do you need all that if you love each other and want to be together?”
It Isn’t For Everyone
Younger people are increasingly seeing the many cracks and flaws within the idea of marriage and are rejecting it. One user said: “A certificate isn’t going to change anything between me and my girlfriend, so why should we marry?”
“Everyone is different, but my first wife was incompatible with me; my second was my best friend, and that didn’t work out either. After some hard self-evaluation, I realize I’m not good at marriage; I don’t work well living with other people.”
Lack of Respect
Respect must always, always be mutual. One man said, “After two decades, I realized she didn’t respect me, had suspicions she cheated on me when I was overseas for the military, and was growing to disrespect her. I decided I would rather be alone than be tied to someone who doesn’t love you.”
The Horrors of Divorce
Divorce can be harrowing, and those who’ve witnessed it with their parents may be put off marriage. “The prospect of going to divorce court again. I’m not a criminal. Why am I forced to kiss a judge’s backside?
Lack of Accountability
A marriage to someone who hasn’t done the work to heal themselves is doomed to fail. One man shared his experience: “The lack of accountability, respect & admiration. All of which pointed to her lack of self and self-love. You can’t fix someone; you can only support them on their journey. I didn’t want to die trying to save her from drowning.”
Asking Permission
Marriage can be an absence of freedom that one had in their single years. And it’s even worse if it’s based on a double standard: “Why go through life catering to someone else’s every whim but always expected to ask permission for your own? I will never marry again. Is not worth it, and it’s actually pointless.”
Financial Infidelity.
One user found out in a very expensive way that marriage wasn’t worth it: “The day I came home from work and found a brand new Volvo S70 in my driveway. Unfortunately, my spouse wasn’t cheating on me. 40k in a year-2000 dollars on a whim and my 80k/yr salary. She paid by cashier’s check. It was almost every cent we had. I had a nervous breakdown.”
A Certificate Means Nothing
More and more people just don’t see the value in marriage and don’t believe it has any worth. One guy shared: “What made me decide marriage wasn’t worth it? Getting divorced. When you find out after 27 years that a marriage certificate means absolutely zero.”
It’s Exhausting
Marital bliss isn’t a concept everyone believes in: “It’s not unlike trying to keep a money-hungry teenage girl who gets easily bored entertained and on 8 almost every day. It’s exhausting. When the glow wears off, you realize it’s another job, another grind.”
Grew Apart
Sometimes absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. “She is a good person and never meant to do me any harm, but after a number of years of being married (during much of which my job had me traveling a lot), I realized we were living different lives and that we stopped growing together.” Sometimes love dies with time, and that’s actually okay.
THE HIDDEN DESIRES OF MEN: 10 THINGS MEN SECRETLY CRAVE IN A WIFE BUT DON’T HAVE THE COURAGE TO ADMIT
You may think that men only want two things from a wife, food and some fun in the bedroom. However, males are more complex than that. Here are ten things men want from their wives that will enhance the relationship.
STUCK IN THE 60S: 10 THINGS BABY BOOMERS REFUSE TO LET GO OF
Memories of the “good old days” keep us trapped in the past. Baby boomers love to retell tales of how it was “in my day.” At the same time, millennials will tell them to get with the times. Being stuck in a time warp from which they don’t want to snap out of, here are things that baby boomers still think are fantastic.
STUCK IN THE 60S: 10 THINGS BABY BOOMERS REFUSE TO LET GO OF
10 THINGS MEN DESIRE THAT WILL MAKE WOMEN RAISE THEIR EYEBROWS
You may think that, finally, you have your man figured out. How wrong you were. Here are 10 things men love that you may find surprising, according to an online forum.
10 THINGS MEN DESIRE THAT WILL MAKE WOMEN RAISE THEIR EYEBROWS
THE RED FLAGS ARE WAVING: 18 HOBBIES THAT WILL SCARE AWAY ANY POTENTIAL PARTNER
We wanted to know what hobbies are a big fat nope.
THE RED FLAGS ARE WAVING: 18 HOBBIES THAT WILL SCARE AWAY ANY POTENTIAL PARTNER
WAKE UP, LADIES! THE 10 BITTER TRUTHS MEN WISH WOMEN WOULD FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGE
Regarding men and women, it seems like we’re from different planets, though we are the same species. Women always come across as enigmatic, a mystery men must fathom. Yet, men can be just as challenging to understand. Here are ten things that men wish women knew about them. Hopefully, this helps females gain deeper insight into the world of men.
WAKE UP, LADIES! THE 10 BITTER TRUTHS MEN WISH WOMEN WOULD FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGE