The pandemic’s isolation highlighted the value of fundamental social interactions, such as gathering at a friend’s house. While house parties and casual get-togethers are becoming more common again, it’s essential to respect others’ spaces. We reached out to etiquette experts to identify common rude behaviors when visiting someone’s home and to offer guidance on how to avoid them.
Expecting a Tour
It’s important to refrain from insisting on visiting someone’s home. Instead, it’s best to wait patiently for an invitation from your host. While some individuals may enjoy showing off their space when hosting guests, this preference is common. If your host doesn’t extend an offer for a tour, it’s not appropriate to take matters into your own hands and start exploring independently. Only venture around the house if explicitly encouraged by the host, using terms like “wander” as guidance.
Waiting to Share Dietary Restrictions
It’s essential to communicate any dietary restrictions well in advance when invited for a meal rather than waiting until you’re seated at the table. Don’t assume that the meal will automatically accommodate your preferences or allergens. Inform the host as soon as possible about any limitations you may have, ensuring clarity between actual restrictions and mere preferences. According to Cook Unity, approximately 3% of Americans identify as vegan, a number on the rise. While a vegan lifestyle offers numerous benefits, including reduced risk of chronic diseases and environmental impact, drawbacks such as cost, limited availability, and societal stigma also exist.
Not Sharing Your Arrival and Departure Times
Maintaining communication regarding your arrival time and promptly informing your host about any delays, regardless of whether they’re picking you up from the airport, is essential. It’s courteous to rely on something other than the host for transportation; be prepared to arrange your own journey from the arrival spot to their home. Similarly, clarify your departure plans and ensure they align with the host’s schedule, avoiding any potential disruptions to their plans. Clear communication alleviates discomfort and prevents awkwardness for guests and hosts, fostering a smooth and enjoyable visit.
Overstaying Your Welcome
It’s crucial to know when it’s appropriate to take your leave. Hosts frequently express frustration over guests who linger beyond their welcome. Even if you’re savoring your nightcap or sensing a lively atmosphere, it’s essential to observe the body language of your hosts. When you notice cues that they may be ready to wind down, consider suggesting that those who wish to prolong the evening relocate to another spot. Respecting the hosts’ cues ensures a harmonious conclusion to the gathering.
Hiding a Mess
Regrettably, mishaps can occur while you’re a guest in someone else’s home. Whether it’s an accidental spill of red wine on the carpet or a knocked-over lamp, it’s crucial not to overlook or attempt to conceal such incidents. If you break something or even deplete the last of the toilet paper, it’s best to promptly and discreetly inform your host. As per the Waycroft report, it’s evident that our neighbors in D.C. lead the pack in maintaining clean households. While we align with their standards, Virginia ranks 28th in the nation for cleanliness, scoring 3.62 out of 5—1.2% dirtier than the national average.
Windows or Thermostat
Respect your hosts’ control over the thermostat setting; it’s their residence, and they bear the expense. If you’re feeling chilly, consider requesting a sweater or extra blankets instead of adjusting the temperature. Conversely, if it’s too warm, propose cooling activities like visiting an air-conditioned venue. Inform your host beforehand if you have a medical condition that heightens sensitivity to temperature extremes, allowing for appropriate accommodations. Maintaining open communication ensures everyone’s comfort and enjoyment during the visit.
Touching and Moving Things
When someone offers the hospitality of their home with a casual “Make yourself at home,” it’s often a friendly gesture rather than an invitation to act as if you own the place. It’s essential to respect the boundaries of someone else’s space. Avoid lounging with your feet on the furniture, and refrain from rummaging through the fridge unless expressly invited. Until given explicit permission by the host, it’s best to refrain from touching or interacting with items around the house. If something catches your interest, it’s polite to inquire before taking action.
Feeding the Dog
Regarding dietary restrictions, it’s crucial to consider that the host’s pets may have limitations, so refraining from sharing your food is critical. Avoid feeding the host’s dog under the table unless you’ve obtained permission. The dog could have allergies or be following a special diet. Statista’s pet owner survey from 2023/24 reveals that an estimated 65.1 million households in the United States own at least one dog, making them the most prevalent type of pet across the nation at this time.
Drawers and Cabinets
Respecting your host’s privacy is paramount. Avoid rummaging through areas not intended for guests or where your presence isn’t expected. While the urge to snoop may arise, you must avoid invading your host’s personal spaces, such as the medicine cabinet. Maintaining boundaries demonstrates respect and trust, fostering a positive and comfortable environment for guests and hosts. Resist the temptation to explore areas beyond those designated for guest use to uphold mutual trust and privacy.
Workspaces, Mail, or Bills
Continuing from the previous point, refraining from snooping is crucial in respecting your host’s privacy. Remember that guest bedrooms may serve dual purposes in some households, such as functioning as a home office. As such, avoid using these spaces to store your belongings, respecting the host’s organizational setup. Additionally, refrain from perusing someone’s mail, as this simple act demonstrates basic manners and consideration for their privacy and personal space. Keeping boundaries intact ensures a harmonious and respectful guest-host relationship.
Snooping
It’s essential to avoid snooping around in cabinets and cupboards when you’re a guest in someone’s home. While it’s understandable to feel curious, resist the temptation to peek inside places like the medicine cabinet, even if it’s a trope seen in numerous movies. Be aware that some hosts may cleverly deter snooping by placing glass marbles in their medicine cabinets, causing a commotion if disturbed. This not only disrupts your host but also draws attention from other guests.
Interfering With the Setup
It’s important not to switch place cards at the dinner table. Hosting events like dinner parties involves considerable time and effort, so it’s essential to honor the arrangements made by the host without attempting to alter them. Respecting their efforts and intentions is critical to maintaining a harmonious atmosphere and ensuring everyone feels valued and included. By adhering to the seating plan, guests can contribute to the overall success of the gathering and demonstrate appreciation for the host’s hard work.
Showing Up Empty-Handed
It’s customary to arrive with a small gift for the host as a gesture of appreciation. However, there’s no need to stress over finding the perfect or extravagant gift. Opting for a simple yet thoughtful gesture like a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers is always appreciated. Remember, the sentiment behind the gift matters most, rather than its monetary value. Your thoughtful gesture will surely be well-received and add to the warmth of the occasion.
Bringing an Uninvited Plus-One
It’s essential to avoid bringing an unexpected plus one when attending an event. While you might assume the host would enjoy your cousin’s company or think introducing your new acquaintance to everyone would be a hit, obtaining permission first is crucial. Unless expressly informed that you’re permitted to bring additional guests, always seek approval before inviting anyone into someone else’s home, regardless of the gathering’s informality. A quick text to the host ensures you’re on the same page and maintains respectful boundaries.
Their Bedroom
It’s crucial to only specific actions if explicitly invited to do so. Resist the temptation to wander around the house without permission, especially after a trip to the bathroom. Snooping breaches privacy and trust without the host’s knowledge or consent. However, there may be exceptions in close relationships or shared living spaces with limited privacy. Similarly, refrain from sitting or relaxing on someone’s bed unless expressly invited. While bedrooms may serve as coat storage areas during gatherings, always wait for the host’s offer rather than assuming it’s acceptable.
Assuming Your Kids, Pets, or Spouse Are Welcome
Forgetting to mention that your dog, spouse, or kids will be accompanying you is a significant oversight. Each additional member alters the dynamics and accommodations required, so informing your host in advance is crucial. Even if your pet is small enough to sit on your lap, disclosing their presence is still essential. Only assume that they’ll be automatically welcomed as guests with prior arrangements. Clear communication ensures that your host adequately prepares for everyone’s needs and provides a smooth visit.
Fridge and Cupboards
While it may seem obvious, it’s worth emphasizing how impolite it is to help yourself to someone else’s food without permission. If you’re hungry, communicate with your host or suggest dining out together. If you’re planning an extended stay, consider offering to contribute groceries or preparing a meal yourself. When attending a dinner, enjoy the dishes prepared for you and offer to bring a dish or wine to share. Inform your host of any dietary restrictions and provide a suitable dish if necessary. Assisting with cooking, dishes, and cleanup demonstrates thoughtfulness and consideration. Keeping countertops clean is an essential daily task in maintaining a tidy environment.
Disrespecting Shoe Rules
Whether to keep your shoes on or take them off is often a matter of personal preference, so it’s essential to heed your host’s wishes. Many individuals prefer to maintain cleanliness by avoiding tracking dirt and germs from outside into their homes. Be ready to comply with a request to remove your shoes if asked. Consider carrying a pair of socks or slippers in your bag if you’re uncomfortable being barefoot and anticipate visiting a no-shoe household. Hosts who prefer shoes off should provide slippers or socks for their guests, understanding if someone declines. Fashion enthusiasts may keep their shoes on as part of their ensemble.
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