We all know those people who seem super friendly at first, but it turns out they’re just in it for themselves. They’re fake friends, and they’re the kind to act nice simply because they’re looking to get something from you, whether you like it or not. Thankfully, there are some tell-tale signs of fake friends that you should keep an eye out for. Let’s look at these red flags, why they might not be good for you, and what you can do about it.
Talk Is Cheap
A friend who promises the moon but never follows through is no friend at all because real ones keep their word and show up when it counts. If your friend is all talk and no action, it might be time to rethink the relationship. After all, it’ll turn into a cycle, with promises made and broken, leaving you disappointed time and again.
Only Around for the Good Times
Some friends only seem to be around when things are going great, which is why you should pay attention to who sticks around when the going gets tough and who disappears when you’re down on your luck. Those fair-weather friends aren’t the ones you can rely on when it really matters. A true friend stays through the challenges and quieter moments, too.
It’s All About Them
Is it always you texting first? Planning every hangout? If you’re always the one making the effort and getting little in return, your friendship might be pretty one-sided. Friendships need to be a two-way street to really work, and when it feels like you’re the only one putting in the work, it’s time for you to reassess your relationship together.
They Don’t Really Get You
A real friend feels for you when you’re hurting and celebrates when you’re winning, while a fake friend will shrug off your big news or ignore your feelings. Friendship needs empathy to survive, and without it, you’ll just feel unsupported and isolated. That’s not what friendship is about. If you’re ever in this situation, you might just have a fake friend on your hands.
Secrets Aren’t Safe
Any friend who loves to gossip and doesn’t seem to keep your secrets is not someone worth your time. Trust is important in every relationship, and friendships are no different, so not being able to trust your friend to keep your confidence is a huge problem. They’re not treating your personal information with respect, and that just undermines your trust.
Green-Eyed Monster
Jealousy has no place in true friendship, meaning that any friends who are bitter when you succeed might not have your best interests at heart. Real friends cheer each other on no matter what happens. This toxic behavior can create hostility, which, in turn, makes it hard to share good news or achievements, and that’s no way to be.
Down in the Dumps After Hanging Out
Think about how you feel after you hang out with them because a true friend should make you feel good, not bad. If you often feel worse off after spending time together, it could be a sign this friendship isn’t doing you any favors. Why are you continuing to invest in this “friendship?” Do you like being around them or the idea of them?
Constant Critic
It’s fine to give each other constructive feedback, but if it feels like your friend is always criticizing you, they might just be needlessly picking you apart. A real friend supports you and builds you up so you can achieve things together. Having to deal with constant negativity is never good, especially since it chips away at your self-esteem and makes you doubt your worth.
Emotional Imbalance
Sharing is caring, but if you’re the only one sharing personal stuff and your friend keeps things close to the chest, that’s just selfish. Like all relationships, a friendship needs open, two-way communication to be strong. Any imbalances will make you feel like you’re more invested in the friendship than them, and that’s not a healthy relationship.
Subtle Manipulations
Watch out for any subtle attempts at manipulation, like making you feel guilty or using your kindness against you. These could be signs they’re a fake friend because they’re using you for their own ends rather than trying to have a good relationship. Of course, manipulation can be hard to spot because it’s usually disguised as caring or concern, but real friends don’t use emotions to control each other.
Your Other Friends Notice
Sometimes, your other friends can spot a fake before you do, especially if they see how this person treats you in a group. Outsiders have a clearer view of what’s happening because they’re not as emotionally involved and can give you a perspective that’s worth considering. If they’re hinting that someone might be a bad influence, they might be onto something.
Different Faces in Different Places
Does your friend act one way in private and another way in public? There’s not really any reason for them to give you mixed signals with their behavior, and should this ever happen to you, it could mean they’re not being genuine. After all, being so inconsistent with your feelings is plain confusing and leaves you wondering which version of them is real.
Sorry Not Sorry
We all make mistakes now and then, which is perfectly fine as long as you genuinely apologize. But watch out for anyone who says sorry yet keeps doing what they apologized for because that’s not a real apology. True friends will try to change their behavior if they know they’ve hurt you, meaning that empty apologies without real change are just words.
Always Taking, Never Giving
Real friendship involves give and take. If you find yourself always on the giving end, you might need to rethink if they’re in this friendship for the right reasons or just because they want something from you. You might just think you’re being kind, but continuously giving without receiving will drain you emotionally and, sometimes, financially. Keep it balanced.
Over-the-Top Flattery
As nice as it is to receive compliments, you should be careful if they come with a side of heavy flattery. Overdoing the niceties can be a way for them to keep you interested or even manipulate you without offering genuine friendship in return. A real friend knows when to be nice, and they’ll praise you without any ulterior motives.
Trust Your Gut
Sometimes, you just feel something’s off, so pay attention to your feelings. If something feels wrong, it probably is, as your gut can pick up on subtleties that your conscious mind just might completely miss. Instead of ignoring your instincts, listen to them carefully so that you can avoid any negative relationships and stick to those that actually fulfill you.
Excuses, Excuses
Always busy? Always something else going on? That’s okay now and again, but when someone’s constantly making excuses for why they can’t be there when you need them, they’re probably not as invested in your friendship as you are. A friend who cares about your relationship will make time for you.
A Trail of Broken Friendships
You don’t just have to base things on your current relationship with this person, as looking at their friendship history can tell you more than you might realize. If they don’t seem to keep friends for long, there could be a pretty good reason why. Patterns can tell you a lot about someone’s true nature, so if you spot any bad ones, you should probably get out.
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