A man told his wife to stop talking about her self-diagnosed mental health issues after she embarrassingly started giving unsolicited advice to people with an actual diagnosis in public. Now his wife is angry and claims he’s damaged her reputation.
His wife’s new hobby was talking about her mental health
His 28-year-old wife started talking excessively about multiple mental health issues she claims she has but hasn’t been formally diagnosed with. These conditions include depression, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and anxiety.
He suggested that she see a professional for an assessment
Taking her concerns seriously, he suggested they go to a mental health professional and get her a mental health assessment. This way, she would get an actual diagnosis and support with anything she was struggling with.
His wife straight up refused
His wife refused, saying that she “doesn’t need someone else’s validation.” He told her that it wasn’t about validation but about getting resources, helping her live a better life, and coping with her struggles. He knew they could access great mental health facilities if she would agree to it, and they had the money to cover it. Yet, she still refused.
She started using the conditions as excuses
His wife started using her self-diagnosed conditions to get out of her responsibilities. She stopped doing her share of household chores because she said her “ADHD is so distracting” and “it stresses her out too much to fight it.” Another time, when they were making cupcakes for her niece’s birthday, he frosted the cakes purple instead of blue. She made him scrape the frosting off and redo it because it was “triggering her OCD.”
They argued about the cupcakes
When he told his wife that the color of the frosting wasn’t a big deal, she got upset at him for “belittling her mental health.” He’d never accused his wife of lying or taking advantage of the situation but wondered if she failed to understand that mental health disorders aren’t trivial personality traits.
He and his wife went to a family reunion
His sister hosted a family reunion, and he and his wife attended. He was talking to his sister about her debilitating seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and seasonal depression, which she’d had since childhood. His sister recently started a new light box therapy, so he asked her how it was going, and she said she’d seen some improvements.
His wife butted into a serious conversation about mental health
His wife jumped into the conversation, saying that she also had seasonal affective disorder. She said that all his sister needed to do was drink more caffeine and power through the day, as that’s what worked for her.
His sister laughed at his wife’s unsolicited advice
In response to his wife’s input, his sister laughed uncomfortably and thanked her for the suggestion. He could tell that his sister felt a little upset that his wife had interrupted a serious conversation to make her ungrounded suggestion.
His wife reacted
His wife became annoyed and told his sister not to laugh her off. His wife said she wanted to be taken seriously, claiming that as a “fellow survivor,” she had only wanted to improve her condition.
He felt irritated and confronted his wife
He felt irritated at what his wife had said. He asked her to please stop talking about her undiagnosed mental health issues in public when they didn’t even have confirmation that she really has seasonal affective disorder. His wife looked shocked and refused to speak to him for the rest of the evening.
His wife started making accusations
When they got home, his wife blew up at him. She claimed that he had tried to damage her reputation in public and had tried to make her seem like a liar. After causing such a stir, he turned to an online forum for advice on whether he was, in fact, in the wrong.
The internet responded
One reader responded, “His wife can’t have it both ways: either she gets a diagnosis from a professional and starts taking steps to mitigate what are actual medical issues — or if she insists on not seeing a mental health professional, she should stop making these supposed mental health struggles the central defining feature of her interaction with the world. Not to mention requesting all kinds of accommodations and unearned validation from others.”
Another commentator said, “Plus if you’re clinically depressed, you cannot simply power through. It’s an imbalance in the brain. She does not appear to actually understand what mental illness is or how it works.”
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