It’s important to dispel the common misconception that men’s desires in a marriage are limited to just two basic needs – food and intimacy. In reality, men have more intricate desires and expectations regarding their marriages. Here, we’ll explore 15 often-overlooked aspects of what men secretly yearn for from their wives to nurture and invigorate their relationships. Understanding and addressing these deeper needs can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious partnership between spouses.
“Don’t hide what you are feeling or thinking. Men appreciate it when you are honest with them. If you hold back, that only leads to your husband playing guessing games. Talk about frustration!” says a woman on the thread.
Honesty is a quality that holds immense importance for men in a relationship. They deeply value a partner who is straightforward and truthful. An honest woman creates an atmosphere of trust. She encourages open and authentic communication, which is vital for a healthy and lasting connection. Honesty allows both partners to understand each other better, resolve conflicts more effectively, and build a strong foundation of mutual respect, fostering a more meaningful and enduring relationship.
“Being sensitive automatically leads to other qualities, like being very sweet, being a giver (as opposed to a taker), and understanding. For someone sensitive, for her to hurt someone else is about as bad as hurting herself. The bottom line is if you’re emotionally sensitive, you’re usually beautiful inside, where it counts,” adds another to the discussion.
Just as you seek comfort and support from a friend when sharing a problem, your man also desires the same level of care and empathy from you. Offering a compassionate ear and thoughtful advice can be profoundly soothing for him. Extending the same emotional support and understanding in your relationship can create a safe and nurturing environment where both partners feel valued and emotionally connected, strengthening your bond.
Another adds, “You don’t have to be the life of the party (unless you want to), but at least be friendly. When you hang out with your husband and his friends, he doesn’t want the situation to feel awkward.”
Being sociable with your partner is crucial for maintaining a healthy and vibrant relationship. Engaging in open and meaningful communication, spending quality time together, and sharing experiences are essential. These interactions strengthen the emotional bond and foster a sense of togetherness and understanding. So, try to be sociable with your partner, actively participate in each other’s lives, and cherish the moments you create together, leading to a more fulfilling and lasting connection.
“After 36 years of marriage, I would like a fancy dinner about once a month. Some nice Porterhouse steaks tossed with a green salad and French bread. I would also like guilt-free time to enjoy my hobby, and I would also like a hobby we share and one for my wife to call her own. I want my wife to have friends. As much as I have to offer, the one thing I cannot be is my wife’s girlfriend.”
Engaging in shared hobbies and interests can be the spice that adds depth to a relationship, infusing it with excitement and providing opportunities for couples to bond over meaningful activities. This shared experience enhances the connection and creates quality time spent together. Whether exploring new hobbies or enjoying existing ones as a couple, this shared aspect can breathe fresh life into the relationship, making it more fulfilling and enjoyable for both partners.
The Authentic Self
“Men want different things from their marriages: some want housewives, some want to be househusbands. Some are looking for submissive women, and some are looking for dominant women. You should be yourself and find a guy who likes you as you are; when ‘what he wants out of a wife’ lines up with ‘who you are,’ you’ll have found a match,” adds one person to the discussion.
Authenticity stands as a fundamental cornerstone in a lifelong relationship. Attempting to pretend or present a polished facade consistently is not sustainable. Genuine, honest communication and authenticity are essential for fostering trust, intimacy, and a deep connection. Embracing your authentic self allows both partners to truly understand and accept each other, leading to a more enduring and meaningful partnership that can withstand time. In essence, authenticity is paramount for a successful and lasting relationship.
A Perfect Blend of Softness and Strength
One online user says, “Loving support in all things reasonable. Gentle grounding in all things that aren’t. A few shared interests. The ability to sit quietly and enjoy time together. She doesn’t belittle the interests she doesn’t share. Willing to try new things. Splits the chores/homemaking as evenly as possible. She doesn’t expect me to do things ‘because I’m the man.’ It can kill spiders. Soft enough to hug.”
In a relationship, balance is achieved through qualities like being supportive, understanding, open to new experiences, and having the ability to handle life’s unexpected challenges, even those as small as dealing with spiders! These traits create equilibrium between partners, fostering a sense of mutual support and adaptability. Striking this balance is essential for a harmonious and enduring relationship, allowing both individuals to navigate life’s ups and downs together with grace and unity.
“It sounds cliche, but communication, I’ve been married almost 20 years, and the key for us has always been communication. I want her to tell me if something bothers her, don’t keep it bottled up until you explode. SAY something,” says one person.
Open and honest communication serves as the cornerstone of every thriving relationship. The ability to express thoughts and feelings freely, without hesitation, is paramount in cultivating trust and deepening understanding between partners. This transparent exchange of ideas and emotions fosters a sense of security. It helps resolve conflicts, forge a stronger connection, and build a solid foundation for a successful and enduring partnership. Effective communication is the key to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.
“Me and my wife have so many common values which help drive our partnership along,” one person on the thread explains.
Initially, physical attraction often draws two people together in a relationship. However, it’s important to note that a connection can falter when shared values are lacking. These values encompass how we perceive ourselves, our interactions with others, and our personal beliefs. When partners share similar values, it helps keep the relationship strong and harmonious, ensuring a sense of alignment in how they approach life and the world around them, which is essential for the long-term success and fulfillment of the partnership.
“When you love yourself, you take care of yourself. This means you do your best to keep yourself attractive by looking nice with hair, sometimes makeup, hygiene, clothes, etc. Exercise and healthy weight are important,” one husband on the thread says.
Physical attraction in a relationship is subjective, varying from person to person. However, this attraction must be mutual. It’s the spark that initially ignites the flames of a relationship, drawing both partners closer to each other. While everyone’s preferences differ, this mutual chemistry and desire to play a vital role in building a solid and passionate connection, setting the stage for a fulfilling and enduring partnership.
“If your man comes home and is always in doubt about your mood, that leads to stress in the relationship. Don’t run hot and cold. Also, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Be yourself and stay consistent about who you are,” explains one woman.
Consistency is a trait that holds significant importance for men in a marriage. A consistent wife provides stability and predictability in the relationship, which fosters a sense of security and trust. Reliability in your actions, words, and emotions helps maintain a harmonious partnership. It’s about consistently being there for your spouse through life’s ups and downs and working together to build a lasting and fulfilling relationship based on mutual reliability and dedication.
“Independence is where it’s at,” explains one person.
Indeed, when a husband and wife unite in marriage, they form a close-knit team. However, this partnership should translate into something other than helplessness or dependency. Men genuinely appreciate and respect a capable and self-reliant partner. Maintaining your individuality and competence is essential while nurturing the collaborative aspect of your relationship. Striking a balance between independence and togetherness allows for a healthier and more harmonious partnership, where both partners can thrive individually and as a team.
“She constantly asks for my input and opinion on things that have absolutely nothing to do with me, her career, her friends, her family, etc.,” says one person.
Trust is a fundamental pillar in any healthy and stable relationship. If you struggle to trust your partner, it’s essential to introspect and identify the root causes of this mistrust. Understanding the underlying issues and addressing them together is vital for nurturing a secure and enduring connection. Trust is a building block upon which a solid and lasting partnership is constructed, and fostering it through open communication and mutual support can help fortify your relationship’s foundation.
No Double Standards
As one online user pointed out, “Hold herself to the same standard that she holds me,” adding, “Men don’t want a wife who is hypocritical (nor do women want men like that, either).”
Marriage often involves a shift in individual independence as you and your partner become a team. While it doesn’t mean a complete loss of independence, it does require a level of mutual agreement on standards and shared responsibilities. This teamwork is essential for a harmonious and successful marriage. Finding a balance between individuality and collaboration is vital, ensuring that both partners’ needs and expectations are met while building a solid foundation of trust and cooperation.
“When your man steps out to achieve his dream or life goal, he wants to know that his wife is cheering him on. Give your husband the reassurance that you are there spurring him on,” addresses one wife on the thread.
Supporting your husband is a fundamental aspect of a solid and loving partnership. It’s what men secretly desire but often goes unspoken. Being there for him in good times and bad, offering your encouragement and understanding, and being his confidante can strengthen your bond. This support isn’t just about solving problems but also providing emotional backing and being a reliable pillar in his life. By nurturing this aspect of your relationship, you can create a more profound connection and foster a sense of security and trust.
“Ask me if I need help with anything and then follow through. House chores, projects, studying all of that is exceptionally more exciting with a loved one joining in to help,” says one on the online discussion.
Appreciating your partner’s thoughts and choices is crucial in any relationship. Make an effort to consistently acknowledge their opinions and the tough decisions they make, primarily when you find them challenging. By showing gratitude and respect for their input, you can foster a deeper connection and mutual understanding in your partnership, a vital component of a healthy and thriving relationship.
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