These chicks make Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction seem like Mother Teresa….
You Have One Year to Decide if You’re Going to Marry Me
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“First date – Dinner had just been ordered.
My response: ‘I’m still trying to decide on a second date…’”
What a Coincidence We Both Ended Up on This Training Course
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“When my ex showed up at a training course completely unrelated to her employment in another state which I was attending.”
What Are You Going to Do With Him Once We Have Kids?
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“Just started dating, showed her a pic of my son, and she then asked what I was going to do with him once we had kids. Ghosted.”
The Next Morning, She Asked What I Would Name Our Kid
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“Didn’t have a c**dom one night, so a girl supplied one…we did the dirty. The next morning she asked what I would name our kid.”
We’re Gonna Get Married, Aren’t We?
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“Second date, no alcohol involved.”
Serial Killer Fodder
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“Used to work with a woman in a cafeteria. One time she randomly declared to anyone within earshot that her boyfriend liked to ‘sleep with her on her period because it was like sleeping with a dead animal.’”
There Wasn’t a Second Date
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On a first date, a woman literally said, “You woo me the best you can, and in the next few dates, I’ll let you know if I think it’s good enough.” I let it slide as weird humor or something.
Later, we were gently disagreeing on something, and she said, ‘We do it my way because who’s got the V here?!’. I saw it wasn’t a joke. She was serious in both those statements. The date ended quickly after that.”
Maybe There’s a Picture of You Without Clothes on Your Drive
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“My former boss (f), who is pretty attractive and married, said so to me (m), who was an intern at the time.”
You’re Really Expensive to Stalk
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“As I delivered pizza to their apartment.”
Flatulence Fantasizing
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” ‘Sometimes I fart thinking about you.’ What?”
Necrophiliac
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“Had a friend who was in the middle of having s** with a girl, and she asked him to stay completely still because it was like she was sleeping with his corpse.”
Legal Love
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Shocked-Woman.jpg)
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“On a first date with a coworker-at-the-time: ‘By the way, you can’t break up with me without my permission. I have power of attorney.’”
Dining on the D
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“One said she wanted to bite my **** off. And the way she was looking at me with these crazy eyes, I believed her. I hopped right out of there as fast as I could.”
You Remind Me of My Son
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“My local vet is a middle-aged woman. She always seemed really caring and lovely, but then she started texting me late at night, asking me to get coffee with her. She said I reminded her of her sons, who lived far away. I blocked her number when she offered me money. I got a super creepy vibe from the wording she used.”
Hypocrisy
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Celebrity-2023-03-21T113348.892.jpg)
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“Try working in an office with mostly women. They have s** on the brain as much as men. Innocent innuendos mostly.
It’s odd that men are careful not to engage in that type of talk around women at all for fear of getting in trouble with HR, but women don’t seem to have any such concerns.”
Love is Blind
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Celebrity-2023-03-20T161610.415.jpg)
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“Had a gf that used to say this about twice a month… “oooh, I love your eyes so much, sometimes I just want to scoop them out with a spoon and put them in a jar’.”
Bathroom Break
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“Happened to a fellow coworker. He was riding the elevator and had a female peer ask him if she could **** him in the public washroom.
The guy had no relation with her prior. I believe she was released soon after due to her further advances to other men in the workplace involving acts in the washroom.”
I Was Checking to See if You Were Dead
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“I was staying at my buddy’s house. I woke up with his wife holding a spoon an inch away from my face. She couldn’t tell if I was breathing and was trying to see if I would fog up the spoon with my breath.
When I told my friend, he told me that she does the same thing to everyone who stays over at their place. She has some deep-seated fear of/fascination with people dying in their sleep.”
Mood Killer
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Celebrity-2023-03-20T113926.815.jpg)
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“Girl was having s** with my friend and told him, “Put your babies inside me, Daddy.” Spoiler: He didn’t.”
Food For Thought
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“Put your Belgian fries in my Italian pasta. That’s not a turn-on…”.
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