People shared their perfect go-to responses when interrupted while using the bathroom.
The following list might encourage you to use the bathroom yourself!
Acting As If Under Arrest
Someone shared this brilliant clap back for when someone knocks midway through doing your ‘business.’
Double points if you follow it up with, “Too late, flushed the evidence!”
Answer These Riddles Three and Then We’ll See if Yee Get to Pee
It helps if you happen to have three riddles to dazzle the knocker with!
Another suggested: “Answer these riddles two, and then we’ll see if you get to poo!”
This is My Own Private Domicile, and I Will Not Be Harassed
Another eccentric and amusing offering.
This one will let them know the restroom is occupied and leave them scratching their heads!
What is Your Quest
One for sci-fi and fantasy lovers alike!
We can imagine Frodo Baggins using this when interrupted during a bathroom activity!
Seat’s Taken
One user shared, “‘Seat’s taken.’ But like how the little kid says it in Forrest Gump when Forrest gets on the bus: ‘Sayts tuayken. Ya can’t sit heah.’”
Nothing. Just Scream
One comment suggested the theatrical approach of a good horror movie scream.
If the person is a serial knocker and regularly interrupts your calls with nature, this is a surefire way to get them to stop – indefinitely!
Let Out a Huge Fart
Again – a good way to end someone’s habit of knocking when a restroom/stall is clearly in use.
Online users agreed: “Gotta assert dominance!”
Get a Tape Measure. This Might Be a Record
We love a creative approach!
Albeit, a grim one!
Toilet Detonation in Progress
This one will surely send them running!
Another sharer chimed in with a similar approach, “Toilet desecration in progress.”
I’ve Been Expecting You
Double points if you make it sound like you’re an English villain in a James Bond movie!
No one wants to hear that from someone who is clearly “dropping the kids off at school!”
It’s Stuck. Got Scissors
Not just a creative comment but also a painful image that will be emblazoned on the knocker’s mind for many years to come.
Another similar comment was, “Got a chainsaw?”
Did You Bring the Prune Juice
This response certainly buys you some time to poop in peace.
And you might even end up with a free beverage!
Vladimir Poopin
One user shared this fantastic choice.
A great one for your kids too! Teach them how politics and the potty have much in common!
Really Heavy Mouth Breathing
Another one for those who love to indulge in a bit of am-dram!
Nothing will send the knocker running like the idea that they may have stumbled across a serial killer.
Knock Back
Users agreed this is another great way to assert dominance.
Bonus points if you leave a little pause before knocking back for dramatic emphasis!
I Could Use a Hand in Here
We mean, this one could be risky in case the knocker is a really dedicated good samaritan!
Nine times out of ten, though, you’ll probably be left in peace.
Enter at Your Peril
No one wants to walk into what effectively is a gas chamber.
And certainly not while said chamber is still in use.
Fart Noises
One user shared, “Make the largest fart sound you can make, and don’t speak any words.”
Sometimes this paints a more accurate picture.
DON’T COME IN. I’M NAKED
This a risky suggestion in case it entices the knocker further.
However, if you’re using a public restroom in the middle of a mall, you’ll probably be left alone.
Come In
You can even follow it up with, “The water’s fine!”
You’ll never be bothered again!
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