OP, a single mother to three children, struggles to make ends meet after her husband unexpectedly passed away a few months ago. Due to the significant decrease in income, she was forced to move to a small one-bedroom apartment with her children, ages 16M, 14F, and 2F. OP gave her two older children the bedroom and asked them to share while she slept in the living room with her youngest child.
The Mom Made Some Adjustments
OP tried adding a privacy screen to give her older children some space, but they weren’t happy with this arrangement. Her kids used to have their rooms, so this was a massive change for them. OP has been looking for a better-paying job for months and has not had any luck. She cannot get a second job as she cannot afford to pay someone to care for her 2F outside daycare hours.
OP has been struggling to put food on the table and using the food bank to feed her family. She has not been eating for two days a week and telling her children she is trying out a fasting trend for weight loss. However, the truth is that she cannot afford to feed everyone. Her older children are unwilling to help, and they say her youngest child is not their responsibility.
OP is unsure what to do and wonders if she would be the AH for asking her children to share the bedroom or if it would be better to suggest her son sleeps in the living room with her and have her two female children share the bedroom instead.
After receiving many responses, OP realizes it would be unfair to put adult problems on her children. She plans to have a surface-level talk with them about their finances and bring them with her to the food bank to show them what they are going through. The bedroom is larger than the living room, so OP can fit two single beds into the bedroom, giving the children space to store their clothes while still having the room divider in the middle. The living room doubles as a dining space as there is no dining room.
OP is going through a difficult time, and she needs to find support and resources to help her family. The loss of her husband has put a significant financial strain on her family, and she is doing her best to provide for her children.
There Are Some Mixed Opinions
The impression made by the commenters is mixed. But many agree that the son and daughter are selfish, failing to understand the seriousness of the situation. One suggested that they should be humbled by:
“Explain to the kids what is happening and that you are trying to fix the situation. Take them to the food bank with you. They need to know you’re doing your best during difficult times. You don’t need to hide this from them.”
There is a lot to be said about the kids not being mature enough to take on the responsibility of some of the family duties. Many have suggested that their generation is full of people unwilling to work hard and help others, even their families.
They Are Just Normal Kids
Alternatively, many have noticed that teenagers will be more willing to make sacrifices once they fully understand the situation. They are thought to be like every typical teenager, who is selfish and narrow-minded, before appreciating what they are doing is wrong.
“I’d say NAH instead of NTA because the kids aren’t being a**holes. They’re teenagers of the opposite sex who suddenly have to share a room after their dad died. But indeed, they need to know what’s going on..”
This is an excellent comparative comment that clearly illustrates that they are young people with little life experience. They are just reacting naturally, and in a way, many have in their teenage years.
They Are Not As Bad As They First Appear
It’s a common misconception that kids these days are inherently selfish. However, it’s important to understand that children are still learning and developing their social skills, including empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives.
During childhood, kids are naturally more focused on their own needs and desires because they are still learning how to navigate the world and their relationships with others. As they grow and gain more experience, they start to develop and realize that sharing a room with each other is a small cost for getting the family life back in order.
Source: Reddit