OP is a 25-year-old man who’s newly engaged to his girlfriend Maya, and they arranged a trip to his hometown to reveal it to his family. At a meal with his family, most people congratulated them. But his mother and one aunt made his fianceé feel uneasy with strange looks throughout the night.
His Mother Gave a Toast, Calling Maya a Gold Digger
After dessert, his mother gave a toast calling Maya a gold digger, which led to Maya leaving the room crying.
You’re Not Welcome at the Wedding
OP stood up for Maya and told his mother, aunt, and another aunt that they weren’t welcome at the wedding and that he and Maya would be staying at a hotel for the rest of their time there.
Now He’s Facing Backlash From His Family
However, he’s now facing backlash from his family for being unreasonable and burning bridges with them. His sister told him that he messed up, and his dad said he couldn’t come unless his mother could go. Some of his mother’s side of the family won’t come unless he reinvites his mother and aunts.
He Doesn’t Know What to Do
The man is conflicted about what to do and feels bad for putting Maya through that but also doesn’t want her to have to deal with anything like that on their wedding day. Maya said it was his choice, but she didn’t want them there. He’s asking if he’s wrong for not inviting his mother and aunts to the wedding.
His Mother’s a Narcissist
OP shared that they couldn’t include in their original post that their mother has a very enmeshed relationship with them, and this was one of the reasons why OP had to move away. OP’s mother is a narcissist, and their childhood was marked by a “golden child scapegoat dynamic” between OP and their sister. While their relationship with their mother has improved, OP’s sister still has panic attacks every time they meet their mother, which is likely why the sister is currently in “no contact” (NC) with their mother.
Readers Agree His Mothers in the Wrong
It is safe to say that readers united in the comment section to sympathize with the OP and his bride-to-be. They discussed that the OP should be under no illusion that his mother and anties were the ones in the wrong:
Your Mom Lit a Fire and You Walked Away
“You’re not the jerk.”
You didn’t burn any bridges. Your mom lit a fire and you walked away.
If she regrets it now and wants to build a new bridge to replace the one she burned, she should get crack-a-lacking on figuring out how she will apologize and make amends to Maya.”
There’s No Way to Recover From Such a Vicious Attack
It is difficult not to agree with this statement. His mother intentionally and publicly humiliated his fiancee as a means of splitting the two of them up. Unfortunately, there is no way to recover from such a vicious attack.
Your Mother Burnt the Bridge
Many commenters have highlighted that his mother burnt the bridge, so why should OP back down from removing her from the wedding? She knew what the consequences of her actions should be, so there was no reason to submit to the pressure of the rest of his family.
She’s Going to Be Childless Soon
There are a few who are holding back in the comment section, a little like OP’s mother couldn’t be at the dining table. They are suggesting that the OP’s comments about his relationship with his mother and the ‘Golden Child’ component of his upbringing were significant.
“Not the jerk. Clearly, your mom has issues with having already driven one child away. Guess she’s going to be childless soon, with that attitude.”
The Mother Is Clearly Troubled
This commenter is suggesting that OP’s mother is clearly troubled and has a horrible attitude to begin with. She has already driven away OP’s sister, who has panic attacks in her company.
Being Incredibly Vindictive and Evil
Although there may be a fault on both sides, most commenters suggest that the mother is being incredibly vindictive and evil. This is obviously not news to the OP, who will have to make some difficult decisions.
It Seems Like the Nail in Her Coffin
This is obviously one of many past mistakes by OP’s mother and seems like the nail in the coffin for her relationship with her son. Clearly, this woman has some serious issues to address if she wishes to have a relationship with her children.
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