OP is a transgender teenager (female to male) living in the southern region of the United States. They are out to most students in their high school, but their parents and most adults do not know.
They Have to Dress as a Girl
They often have to dress femininely for special occasions or after-school activities, which causes them dysphoria. During spirit week, OP had to dress in a skirt, knee-high socks, a striped white tee-shirt, and a varsity jacket for a photo that their parents wanted.
Jessica Is Telling People That She Fakes Being Trans
One of their friends, Eric, told them that another friend, Jessica (who is non-binary), had been going around telling people that OP is “faking being trans” because they come to school dressed in skirts.
OP Got Angry at Jessica
OP decided to confront Jessica and expressed their shock and anger. Jessica explained that it was a mockery of the trans community, and OP admits that they probably got too angry.
Her Friends Keep Making Her Feel Bad About Her Choices
OP then told Jessica that it was not their place to tell them their own identity and that they had a reason for dressing that way. They also called out Jessica’s behavior, suggesting that they may be picking on others to feel validated due to issues with their parents. Jessica and their friends continued to bother and try to make OP feel bad, and OP wondered if they were in the wrong.
It’s a Complicated Situation
Commenters have noted that it is a complicated situation where multiple parties were to blame:
“ESH.
It Was Insensitive
Jessica shouldn’t have called you fake trans; it was insensitive of them and also completely none of their business what you wear.
You Were Over the Top
You went a bit too over the top in your response. Yes, I get your emotions were probably running high. But you were very full on with your approach to Jessica and said some nasty stuff yourself.”
Jessica Was in the Wrong
This reader acknowledges that Jessica was in the wrong insinuating that OP was faking. Due care and respect are required to make a coherent argument in these types of situations. However, the writers suggest that OP overreacted and was far too aggressive in their response to Jessica.
Being Nasty Is Not the Best Approach
Being nasty is not the best approach to dealing with this style of situation. It is difficult to remain level-headed when being personally attacked. But a like-for-like nasty response is not the best way to deal with this confrontation in the eyes of this commenter.
Objective Responses
There are many in the thread who are trying to remain objective in their summary of the situation:
“Not your fault that you have to hide being trans from your parents because you still live under their roof and are dependent on them. Your response was a little harsh, but she also had no business spreading rumors. If she didn’t understand, she could have asked you privately why you wore feminine clothes. I say NTA.”
You Have Nothing to Be Ashamed Of
On this occasion, the reader is being very measured in their approach to responding to the OP. They are firstly explaining that OP has not yet come out to their parents, so conforming to gendered clothing is a normal practice and nothing to be ashamed of.
Jessica Should Not Spread Nasty Rumors
Beyond this, they note that Jessica has no right to spread a harsh and untrue rumor about OP. It is none of her business and ultimately is an illustration of how cruel Jessica can be.
She Should Have Approached OP Privately
They have indicated that Jessica could have approached OP privately in order to address why they were still wearing female clothes. This would have been a more mature approach, and it would have avoided any misunderstanding or unnecessary gossiping.
Gender Doesn’t Change Because of Your Clothes
“Boys can wear skirts, and girls can wear pants. Gender doesn’t change because clothes do.
Though the insults were uncalled for.”
Gender Is Between Your Ears – It’s Not About Your Clothes
In this thread, many participants have made it clear that the clothes people wear do not have to reflect their gender. They are explaining that gender is what is between the ears and not necessarily a reflection of what someone looks like. This is an important point for OP to consider as it is a fact that can put them at ease and not feel like they are being dishonest with themselves.
HIS HOA DEMANDS THE REMOVAL OF SECURITY CAMERAS: THEIR OVERSIGHT TRIGGERS A LEGAL BACKLASH, ENTRAPPING THEM IN A RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE LOOPHOLE!
A couple bought surveillance cameras to monitor their property, which inadvertently waged a costly war with their HOA.
She Demands Her Brother Share His Daughter’s Inheritance With Her Stepdaughter – Who Wasn’t Bequeathed Anything!
When it comes to family dynamics, few things can stir up emotions, quite like inheritance disputes. A contentious situation has emerged in an unfolding saga that tests the bonds of blood and challenges the concept of fairness. At the center of this narrative stands a sister who adamantly demands her brother to share his daughter’s inheritance with her stepdaughter, who, to her dismay, was not bequeathed anything.
HE ISSUES AN ULTIMATUM: IN-LAWS MUST VACATE OR HIS DAUGHTER’S DOOR REMAINS LOCKED IN A HEART-WRENCHING POWER STRUGGLE
OP’s brother-in-law, Sammy, moved in with his twin daughters, Olivia and Sloane, after losing his home due to a divorce. OP’s daughter, Zoey, is 16 years old and gets along fine with her cousins, but they do not respect her privacy.