Parent-child relationships can be some of the most complicated interactions to deal with, especially when you’re still learning what it means to be independent. Difficult parents can make this sort of situation even worse by trying to control every aspect of their child’s life. Recently a university student we’ll call “Diana” posted her own parental issues to an online forum. Here’s her story.
A World Away
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_2139744577.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Diana is a Middle Eastern woman from Scotland who moved three hours away from home to attend university. Scotland pays for their students to attend classes and doesn’t require repayment. This program helps Diana financially as she’s able to pay rent, utilities, and groceries from her on-campus job as an auxiliary nurse. Diana loves to enjoy crazy, wholesome nights with friends, make memories, and destress from classes and work.
Parent Problem
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1934442113.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Diana disclosed that her sister got married in secret when she went away to University. She believes this is why her mother has decided to move in with her, and while she’d never turn her family away, she also revealed that her parents own a home and have plenty of space for themselves. She says her dad visits constantly, and her parents control everything she does.
Scheduled to the Max
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Shutterstock_2000798924.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Diana wants to be free to make her own decisions. She wants the freedom to choose when and what she eats and pick hobbies and fun activities that help her relax and enjoy the company of friends. Her parents think she should study eight or more hours a day, go to work for twelve hours when she’s scheduled, and spend any spare time with them.
Gotta Go
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_2250866885.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Diana loves her family and would never do anything to hurt someone she loves. She’s been so stressed about this whole situation, however, that she broke off her engagement. And while she says her parents would never force her into a relationship, she’s concerned that her mental health is suffering. She’s been entertaining the idea of asking them to leave but wonders if it’s the right decision. When she posted her story, plenty of readers had opinions to share and advice to give.
Freeloaders
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1336925273.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
One reader wanted Diana to know that she should send her parents packing as soon as possible. “They are not just freeloading; they are controlling your life! You are independent. They don’t contribute anything to your living situation or your studies. They have a serious problem respecting boundaries. Send them packing ASAP!!!”
Personal Safety
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1681153690-1.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
An interested party thinks Diana should have someone with her when she talks to her parents. “Someone who is from this culture who has been in this situation needs to respond on how to do this because I think they may harm or kill her if she tries to break free. Diana may be safer living in a dorm where her parents couldn’t live with her. I feel so awful for the posts where people are culturally trapped. Sometimes family and personal fulfillment/happiness just cannot be reconciled. It’s either submission or exile.”
Backup
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1437181781.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
A forum user was hopeful that Diana could enlist the support of her sister when she talked things over with her parents. “Have you tried reaching out to your sister during all of this? Might help to have someone in your corner.”
Diana’s Dilemma
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1855337134.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Diana stopped by to let users know how things were. “I am not on talking terms with my sister for complex reasons, but I know that if I asked for her advice, she would agree that I should be living alone. I am unsure if she’d be able to convince my parents of the same.”
Coercive Control
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1723964212.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Another person wanted Diana to have some resources to work with. “You’re describing coercive control, and Scotland has recently tightened up on laws around that. You can also seek support from Women’s Aid.”
Your Rules
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Shutterstock_1318903151.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
One individual wants Diana to know that her house means her rules. “WOW, your parents are something else. They’re basically punishing you for something your sister did. The way I see it, your mom is GUEST in YOUR home. YOUR home, YOUR rules.”
Less Freedom
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Old-senior-female-closeup.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
One knowledgeable entity made a clear point to Diana about her possible future. “You can make your own decisions regarding your studies, activities, what you wear, and even if you continue to worship the way your parents do. Tell your parents that they need to let you grow up, that you are in Scotland and you need to make your way in this country. Then stick up for yourself. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself in an arranged marriage, possibly in your parent’s homeland, likely to a man who gives you even less freedom.”
Landlord
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1721843092.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
One commenter advised getting the landlord involved. “Maybe get your landlord to kick them out. I’m pretty sure they are not on the lease also; keep the police updated about your situation.”
Bonkers
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Shutterstock_2072841536.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Another contributor thinks Diana’s situation is crazy. “This is bonkers. You’re a financially independent adult. I know there are cultural things at play here, but time for Mom and Dad to GO. If it results in a year of them not speaking to you, well, them’s the breaks. Would probably be a great year for you.”
Fear and Regret
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_1079701313.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Someone thinks Diana will regret it if she doesn’t change things now. “You’ll forever regret that you’ve not lived as an adult if you continue to let them emotionally and physically smother you. Change the locks and put your foot down. They are frightened that you’ll make choices they have no experience with and are scared that you’ll dishonor them.”
Make Amends
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Shutterstock_196400093.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Someone else thinks Diana should make amends and build her defenses. “I think you should amends with your sister, if possible. You also need to find resources in order to be protected. Being in a Western country doesn’t mean you are safe. Live the life you want, but build your defenses.”
Move Out
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/shutterstock_2159847275.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Another individual thinks Diana should move to a secure location and live her life. “I’d suggest moving and not telling anyone where you moved to, and make sure you get in a building with a door person and have cameras. This will get ugly, I can almost guarantee it, but you’re gonna need to do it, or you’ll be retiring, and your family will still be picking out your clothes.”
Prison
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Shutterstock_95385994.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
One frank being said this to Diana. “This isn’t a home; it’s bloody prison. Kick them out, and if need be, file for an order of protection. Their behavior will not change, not now, not in the future. It will only spiral down further if you don’t take a stand now. A third-party-mediated conversation in a neutral and safe setting might help you explain, but please be steadfast in your outcome.”
Cultural Normality
![](https://www.kindafrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/Shutterstock_100502683.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
When you were born and raised in a Western country, it’s not easy to understand the cultural limitations that come with lots of Middle Eastern families. Even the strictest parents in Western culture will seem lax compared to our Middle Eastern counterparts. Diana’s situation bears patience and planning.
He Sold the Family Home for Three Times What He Paid for It, but Now His Siblings Are Demanding a Share of the Profit
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Celebrity-2023-05-05T110337.510.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
A man bought his two siblings out of their share of the family home when their mother passed away. Now he’s sold the house for three times the amount he paid for it, and his siblings are demanding a cut.
This Groom Invited His Ex-Girlfriend To His Wedding, But When She Showed Up In Suspenders He Had His Regrets!
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/woman-biting-her-finger-in-leather-gloves.jpg)
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Recently, a couple decided to have a micro wedding with just their immediate family, around ten people. They chose a venue known for holding significant events, but they hired a smaller room there.
This Groom Invited His Ex-Girlfriend To His Wedding, But When She Showed Up In Suspenders He Had His Regrets!
He Was Blinded by Love, Until He Learned About His Romanian Wife’s True Motives
![](https://becausemomsays.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Untitled-1600-x-900-px-6.jpg)
Image Credit: DepositPhotos.
In a tale fraught with deception and vengeance, a man recently divulged his experience of unmasking his Romanian wife’s infidelity and orchestrating a chain of events that ultimately led to the revocation of her Greencard, laying bare her hidden agenda.
He Was Blinded by Love, Until He Learned About His Romanian Wife’s True Motives