Emily, a software engineer with a strong sense of self-worth, found herself in a difficult situation when her cousin asked her to babysit for a rate that didn’t align with her values.
She Had a Side Hustle
Meet Emily, a software engineer with a full-time job and a side hustle of doing freelance coding work. She’s always been the type to have a side hustle she puts a lot of her free time into because she gets really bored sitting idle. Emily’s freelance hourly rates are $60 an hour, and at her full-time job, her hourly pay works out to about $40 an hour. So that’s how she values her time.
Her Christmas Vacation
Over Christmas vacation, Emily was staying at her parents’ house. Her cousin, Rachel, was also staying over with her three young kids from Christmas to New Year’s. Emily had been planning on doing some work on her freelance projects when she had free time in the mornings when her family had no plans. She wasn’t in any rush; she was already ahead of schedule on them all, but she didn’t really have anything else to do. It was a really rural area, and it’s like an hour drive to the nearest anything.
She Was Asked to Baby-Sit
Then Rachel and her husband asked if Emily could babysit all day for three days so they could visit some friends in the area and hang out with just adults. Emily said she had planned on doing freelance work at the library, and Rachel offered to pay her to babysit. Emily said she could if they got close to her freelance rates. Rachel wanted a number, and although Emily’s freelance rates are $60, she didn’t feel like that was right, it was high. But she didn’t want to go too low; honestly, babysitting three kids would be harder for her than the routine coding work she had for her freelance project. She didn’t know a lot about kids and had never babysat for long, and she had a feeling it would be stressful and difficult.
She Went Crazy
So she said $35, which is below what she makes hourly at work and what is the bare minimum she’d value her time for if that time is spent doing difficult work. And Rachel went crazy at her, saying that’s a ridiculous rate for babysitting, that Emily was entitled and being selfish, that she’s trying to take advantage of how Rachel didn’t have other options, etc. Emily said, “That’s way below what I’d be making if I had the time to do my own work, and I’d be putting off my own work to babysit.”
She Was Called Stupid
Rachel’s husband then got mad at Emily, saying that she was a 24-year-old girl, that she was near a child herself, that her time was not worth that much and it’s childish to say that it was. He also called her a stupid girl for not knowing that babysitting costs like $15 an hour and that when she grows up and has kids of her own, she will see how stupid she is.
She Was Shocked
Emily was taken aback by the harsh criticism from her cousin and her husband. She felt like they were belittling her and her skills as a software engineer. She said, “I was kind of done with being called stupid, so I just told them I hoped they could find someone else.” After the incident, Emily felt hurt and confused. She couldn’t understand why her cousin and her husband reacted so strongly to her rate. She thought about it and realized that maybe they didn’t understand the value of her time and expertise.
Her Mother Didn’t Understand
Emily’s mother, who witnessed the argument, thought that Emily asked for something offensive. She told Emily that she should have just said no to babysitting instead of asking for a high rate. Emily felt like her mother didn’t understand her perspective either. She said, “I don’t think my rate was unreasonable. I value my time and expertise, and I don’t think it’s fair to ask me to babysit for less than what I make at my job.”
She Apologized
Despite the disagreement, Emily and her cousin eventually made up. Rachel apologized for overreacting and not understanding the value of Emily’s time. Emily accepted the apology and said that she would be happy to babysit for a more reasonable rate in the future.
Straight to the Internet
The incident made Emily realize the importance of communicating her value and boundaries, even with family members. She learned that it’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with her values and that it’s important to stand up for herself and her skills. However, Emily decided to seek out opinions of others from an outside perspective and told her story on a popular internet forum to see what they thought.
The Internet Responds
One person writes, “3 kids all day, for 3 straight days? Even real babysitters would charge more than 15 for 3 kids. Obviously, they wanted you to do it as a favor and got upset that you treated it as an actual job.”
A Further Comment
Another person writes, “You can babysit and do your job if you work the extra time.”
A Final Comment
A third person puts, “Why didn’t her parents offer to do so, instead the mom gave her stick for it too. Also, they want to belittle her because she’s young yet it sounds like she is doing pretty well for her age.”
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