A woman recently asked a group of online community members “am I the a**hole?” for letting the cat out the bag about a new family member’s former behavior.
*Names have been changed by the sharer to protect identities.
From Friends To Enemies.
The woman explains how she discovered the true colors of a high school pal. “I used to be friends with this girl *Annika. We were close until junior year, when I discovered she had been spreading false rumors about me. However, even after I stopped being friends with her, she continued to make up lies about me and made my life hell right up until we graduated. We went to different universities and I’m in my mid-twenties now.”
A Blast From The Past.
It would appear that Annika was about to make her way back into the woman’s life. “My older brother *Carter went to the same university as Annika. Recently, he announced that he had gotten engaged to his girlfriend. Our family was happy for him, but we were surprised at the same time since we didn’t know he was dating anyone. He said he’d introduce her at an upcoming family party.”
He Knew What She’d Done.
The woman felt sick at the sight of Annika on her brother’s arm and it showed. “Carter left Annika with some relatives, then came over to me and asked to talk. We went to another room and Carter explained he’d met Annika at a party and didn’t recognize her, but it was ‘love at first sight’. But after he found out her full name, he realized it was the same Annika who spread lies about me.”
He Is Convinced She Is A Good Person.
And that she should be given a second chance. “He confronted her and she claimed to not remember me or anything she did. He let it go because he really liked her. He then pleaded with me to be nice to her since she ‘didn’t remember’ what she had done and that she was a good person. I just told him I needed a moment to myself to process everything.”
She Wasn’t Sure How To Handle The Situation.
And she didn’t want to cause a scene. “When I eventually went back to the party, I decided I would ignore her. I didn’t say anything rude, I just didn’t talk to her or acknowledge her. She didn’t talk to me or acknowledge me either. But when we sat down to eat, all hell broke loose.”
She Couldn’t Hold Back Any Longer.
The tension and past experiences began to get the better of her. “One of my aunts asked me how I felt about my brother getting married. I tried changing the subject, but she kept pressing, so I eventually snapped and said something like: ‘I actually don’t feel great about it considering his future wife bullied me and never apologized.’”
The Spotlight Was On Her.
Annika turned on the waterworks. “Everyone turned to look at Annika. She just started crying and ran out of the room. Carter went after her, and they left early. The rest of the night was chaotic because everyone was asking me what happened (I told them).”
Her Brother Confronted Her.
He was angry about this confrontation. “Later, Carter called me and said I was a horrible person for embarrassing Annika in front of the whole family and I was being petty over ‘high school drama’. He demanded I apologize to her. I refused and said HE was the awful one for blindsiding me with this, and that if she never bothered to reach out and apologize for what she did while they were dating, I wasn’t going to let it go now that they were engaged.”
She Thinks Annika Is Being Manipulative.
She’s convinced Annika remembers everything that happened, so she’s sticking to her guns. “He kept insisting that she didn’t remember, and she can’t apologize for something she doesn’t remember, but I think that’s garbage. I ended up hanging up on him. The way I see it, I was asked a direct question and I provided a direct answer. Also, I don’t think I have any obligation to cover for her when she made my life hell, especially when she’s obviously lying about not remembering. AITA [am I the a**hole]?”
They Have Strong Opinions.
The community voiced their thoughts. One user said: “NTA [not the a**hole]. I don’t buy that she doesn’t remember. Plus your brother did and chose to ambush you at the family event.” Another agreed. “Did she have some traumatic brain injury that has caused her to forget her high school years? Does she not consider how she acted bullying so she doesn’t remember bullying OP [original poster]? OP’s brother needs to think with his big-boy brain…”
Annika Is Still A Bad Person.
Users called out her behavior: “Let’s assume that the fiancée really does not remember – a traumatic brain injury or something. The brother reminded her. Told her that she hurt his sister badly. Anyone who is not a bully would have reached out and apologized BEFORE the big family meeting. Did she think that everyone would share her amnesia?”
The Brother Is Just As Bad.
Some members picked up on the brother’s questionable actions. One said: “She, and the brother, are both bullying OP now. If she’s such a good person now, why hasn’t she tried to reach out to OP to apologize and smooth things over? Instead she’s trying to push through it, just now with a poor-me act. And the brother deliberately blindsided OP.”
Unhealthy Relationship.
Members doubted the nuptials were a good idea. “No better way than to really bully someone than to get with her brother. Maybe they did meet and not recognize each other. but right after, she knew exactly who he was and what she did to OP. She knows what she’s doing and OPOs brother is playing right into it.”
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