Navigating the aftermath of a breakup can be tough, but it gets even more complicated when there’s a beloved pet involved. That’s precisely what one Reddit user is grappling with. OP is wondering if she’s in the wrong for not letting her ex see their shared dog after her ex started dating OP’s former workplace bully.
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Is OP justified in setting boundaries for dog visits?
OP explains that she was in a relationship with her ex for over a decade, and they lived together with their dog for nine years. However, eight months ago, her ex blindsided her with a breakup. OP says that she told her ex that she could continue to see the dog even after the separation, but only if the ex didn’t “really f*** her over.” The user emphasizes that this was not meant as a threat but more like a boundary.
But things took a turn when OP’s ex started dating her former boss, who had bullied her for years, causing her to leave the workplace. The user says that she felt utterly betrayed and devastated, and her health issues flared up whenever she had to interact with her ex. As a result, she asked for a month of no contact, including no visits with the dog, as it emotionally and physically affected her.
This is where OP starts to question if she’s in the wrong. She admits that her ex and the dog have a close bond, and she’s keeping them apart and her friends have accused her of being vindictive and punishing her ex by not letting her see the dog. The ex is pushing back against the request for no contact and is asking to see the dog.
So, who’s in the wrong here? Let’s examine both sides.
On the one hand, the user can prioritize her well-being. Understandably, she would feel hurt and betrayed by her ex’s relationship with her former bully, and it’s also understandable that seeing her ex would affect her health negatively. The user has offered to continue sharing updates on the dog’s life and even maintains a social media account for the dog so that the ex can still see him. She’s not cutting off contact entirely; she’s merely setting a boundary to protect herself.
Moreover, pets are not just things or objects; they are living beings with emotional needs. They require stability and a sense of safety, and if the user feels that her ex’s presence would threaten that, she has a responsibility to protect her dog’s well-being too.
On the other hand, the ex had a close relationship with the dog, and it’s evident that the dog’s absence is affecting her. The user had promised that the ex could still see the dog, and the ex may feel entitled to that promise.
But here’s where things get tricky: should the user’s ex be held responsible for her ex-boss’ actions? It’s understandable that the user feels hurt by her ex’s relationship with the bully who tormented her for years.
Is it fair to blame the ex for someone else’s actions?
OP’s ex is pushing back against the request for no contact, which raises another question: how much communication is reasonable in a post-breakup relationship when there’s a pet involved? Is it fair for the user to limit her ex’s contact with the dog, or should the ex have equal rights to see the pet?
Ultimately, the answer to these questions may depend on individual circumstances. However, one thing is clear: breakups are tough, and pets can make them even harder. It’s essential to prioritise well-being for us and our furry friends, and communication is key.
As one commenter on the post stated, “Ultimately, this is about setting boundaries.”
Setting boundaries is crucial in any relationship, and this also applies to our pets. It’s important to consider what’s best for them and how we can maintain their well-being during times of change. By openly and honestly communicating with our ex-partners and setting clear boundaries, we can ensure that our pets receive the love and care they deserve, even under challenging circumstances.
Source: Reddit
