Attending a friend’s or relative’s wedding should be a celebration and a time of shared joy. Friends and family should come together to have a good day, and guests will feel welcomed. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. A teenager, I’ll call Sam for this story, had a less than pleasant experience when they attended a family wedding.
Say No to the Dress
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Sam, a genderfluid teen, was recently a guest at a close relative’s wedding with their family. The dress code the bride indicated on the invite was that women had to wear dresses and men had to wear something formal, like a suit. Sam is an assigned female at birth and was told they must wear a dress. They don’t identify as a woman and weren’t comfortable with this request and asked for a potential compromise on their outfit. The bride insisted that they wear a dress.
Say Yes to the Romper
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When Sam and their family ordered their wedding clothes, their parents asked if they had found anything suitable. Sam sent them a link to a romper that looks like a formal dress until you look closely at the bottom part and see that it is not a skirt. Their parents bought the romper, and Sam wore it to the wedding. Everything seemed fine at first.
At the wedding, Sam was pulled along too hard by a kid, and they tripped and fell face-first, sprawled out on the floor. As other people nearby gathered around to see what happened, the bride noticed that the bottom part of Sam’s outfit was shorts and not a skirt. The bride started screaming at Sam that she had made it clear they needed to wear a dress and were selfishly going against her wishes on her special day.
The Aftermath
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Sam is autistic, pretty sensitive, and hates loud noise. They started crying because of the pain from scraping their leg and the bride’s yelling. Sam’s cousin led them away to treat their wound. The bride angrily walked away, refusing to speak to Sam and their family for the rest of the night. Some family members reassured Sam that they didn’t do anything wrong, but they still had doubts.
An online community weighed in on Sam’s predicament after asking if they were wrong to wear an outfit that only looked like a dress. Users didn’t hold back on their opinions about Sam’s clothing choice, the bride’s dress code, and her subsequent reaction.
Don’t See the Problem
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A commenter took exception to the bride’s dress code demands of her guests. Dress codes for wedding guests usually describe the level of formality. They’re not a requirement for the guests to wear a particular article of clothing. If the bride couldn’t even tell the romper wasn’t a dress without a trip and fall accident, they can’t see the problem.
Sorry, Brides
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Someone else asks, “What is it with all these brides suddenly deciding they have more control over their guest’s dress choices than selecting one of the standard dress codes?” Sorry, brides, you don’t get to order women to wear dresses versus a pantsuit or romper that looks like a dress.
The Best Compromise
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Another user in the discussion compliments Sam for coming up with the best compromise available. They also found it odd that the bride was so hung up on them wearing a dress. But since Sam’s family bought the romper and allowed them to wear it to the wedding, Sam was on the right side.
Need To Be Flexible
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In 2023, what’s considered appropriate wedding attire has to make room for something besides strict male and female clothing rules, especially when the bride knows a family member might struggle with such a dress code, somebody writes.
Controlling Bride
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First, the bride was out of line for screaming at an autistic 16-year-old instead of checking if they were okay after their fall. Second, it’s a control thing with the bride because there was no reason to implement such a strict dress code for her wedding guests, especially over an outfit that looked like a dress, which she insisted on.
Not a Big Deal
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One contributor to the forum had no patience for the bride, writing, “The bride sounds insufferable. You wore a romper. Big deal. It’s not like you wore a white gown. Any bride who thinks she should get to dictate exactly what every guest wears down to the cut of their outfit is a bridezilla.” The bride’s reaction to Sam’s outfit was over the top and unnecessary.
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