While taking the kids to the grocery store can be fun for some families, it can be problematic for many. A woman recently visited a popular online community to find out if she was in the right or entirely wrong for correcting a shopper’s son for spraying chemicals onto her face while in a grocery store.
Temp Job
The woman, we’ll call her “Jen,” works at a local grocery store. She generally works inside, but she gets some fresh air during the summer by running a register at the garden center. For the past three years, Jen has gotten this temporary job switch for customers who don’t want to enter the store.
Regular Shopper with a Special-Needs Son
Jen greets loads of shoppers daily, and one of her regulars, let’s call her “Stacy,” has a son who has autism; let’s call him “James.” One of the ways James copes is to play with spray bottles, like the kind that is used for cleaning products. Jen had no idea until the day of the incident, though.
Out of Reach
At the cashier’s counter, one table has a shelf underneath where Jen keeps various paper towels and cleaning stuff (including a bottle of diluted bleach), as well as bags for customers buying non-plant items, pots that customers have brought back for recycling, and garden gloves for the employees. One day, Stacy visited the store’s garden area with James. James made a beeline for the counter’s spray bottles, and Jen immediately moved them closer to her. She told James that the bottles were for cleaning, not for touching, too, and began to scan Stacy’s items.
No, Go
Out of nowhere, a ton of bleach droplets hit Jen’s sunglasses and cheeks. She looked up and noticed that James had pulled the table skirt that was zip-tied tightly to the table away, stuck his arm through, grabbed the bottle of bleach, and sprayed it around.
No Big Deal
Jen took the matter into her own hands, and Stacy wasn’t phased. She quickly grabbed the bottle from James as Stacy laughed and reminded her he was autistic. Stacy also added that her son has a water bottle at home that he likes to spray people with.
Scolded
Jen’s mouth went into action as she was upset. She told Stacy that the mom shouldn’t be encouraging James to spray people with ANYTHING without their consent. Second, the bottle didn’t just have water, it was bleach, and they were both lucky Jen was wearing sunglasses because she could’ve gone blind.
Defense
But Stacy didn’t take the scolding lightly and was offended. She told Jen, again, that James was autistic. Still upset, Jen said that might be an excuse for him not to realize, but Stacy needs to pay closer attention to her son in public places if he’s going to grab items that are dangerous.
No More
Since the altercation, Stacy hasn’t brought James back to the store, and Jen feels terrible because he was nice. Also, she needs to learn how much help Stacy has at home. She still stands by what she told the mom.
Second Thoughts
While Jen feels she did the right thing at the time, she’s now having second thoughts. She wanted to know if telling the mom of an autistic child off and prompting her to stop bringing him back if she couldn’t follow the store’s rules was the wrong thing to say.
Sympathy, But Still Right
One commenter sympathized with the shopper but felt the poster did the right thing. She said, “Autistic mom of an autistic kiddo here. You are NTA. Stims serve an important purpose in our lives, but there are limits, and this is so far beyond what is acceptable and understandable.”
Education
Another poster chimed in, “That mom is also not doing her child any favors by not educating him on when and where it’s okay to spray bottles.” They should be used only at home and when you know for a fact that there’s nothing dangerous inside.
Ask Permission
Yet another reader offered this advice, “At the very least, she should have been teaching him to seek permission to spray someone with the bottle or wait until she sought permission herself.”
Consent
A fourth commenter chimed in, saying that he needs to learn about consent. If he struggles with it, his mom must be on alert or, as others suggested, have helped to keep an eye on him. This would stop James from grabbing, at will, dangerous items that could cause harm to him or others.
The Mom Is Making Excuses
A person with autism also gave their two cents and said it sounds more like an excuse the mom made to justify her wrong choice of sensory toy for her son. There is a difference between sensory toys and stims.
Also, why didn’t Stacy bring their empty spray bottle if it’s an absolute must? Her attitude towards this behavior will only get them in trouble sooner or later.
The Shopping Moral of the Story
While Jen was right to move the chemical bottle away from James and then tell Stacy she needs to watch her son more closely, an empty gap or explanation needs to be addressed. Commenters felt that Jen should talk with the mom when they both have level heads to explain why she flew off the handle.
He Sold the Family Home for Three Times What He Paid for It, but Now His Siblings Are Demanding a Share of the Profit
A man bought his two siblings out of their share of the family home when their mother passed away. Now he’s sold the house for three times the amount he paid for it, and his siblings are demanding a cut.
This Groom Invited His Ex-Girlfriend To His Wedding, But When She Showed Up In Suspenders He Had His Regrets!
Recently, a couple decided to have a micro wedding with just their immediate family, around ten people. They chose a venue known for holding significant events, but they hired a smaller room there.
This Groom Invited His Ex-Girlfriend To His Wedding, But When She Showed Up In Suspenders He Had His Regrets!
He Was Blinded by Love, Until He Learned About His Romanian Wife’s True Motives
In a tale fraught with deception and vengeance, a man recently divulged his experience of unmasking his Romanian wife’s infidelity and orchestrating a chain of events that ultimately led to the revocation of her Greencard, laying bare her hidden agenda.
He Was Blinded by Love, Until He Learned About His Romanian Wife’s True Motives