George supports his son’s authentic expression despite his wife’s desire to change him. He takes a stand during a Christmas gathering, leading to a confrontation.
Difference In Opinion
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George’s wife says their 15-year-old son has a “deadpan voice.” George recognizes that his son lacks expression when talking, but he supports his right to do so in his own way. On the other hand, George’s wife is adamant that he encourages his son to show more emotion and speak up. The different views of both parents threaten the family’s peace.
George’s Wife’s Approach
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George’s son is extremely troubled by the new direction his mother has taken in their relationship. She gets overly enthusiastic when talking to him and uses a lot of hand gestures and facial emotions. To her, it’s important that their son “speak up” and “express it with feeling” whenever possible. George knows his son is embarrassed and uncomfortable due to her demands.
George’s Concerns and Discussions
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George tries to talk to his wife about the problem in private. He tells her what he thinks and worries about their son’s personality. But his wife seems to be sure that her way is the “right” way and that their son needs to learn how to be more outgoing.
The Breaking Point
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Tensions reach a breaking point during a Christmas party at George’s sister-in-house. law’s When their son simply asks George to pass the gravy, his wife insists, in her usual over-the-top way, that he asks with excitement. George is angry and feels like he can’t handle it in front of his family, so he takes his son to the movies and leaves his wife at home.
Confrontation and Consequences
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As they get home, George’s wife confronts him, saying he made a scene and made her look bad. She says he has crossed a line and expresses her disgust. George explains his position by saying he was fed up with his wife’s attempts to mold their son into a different person. He sees this as a chance to make a statement and safeguard his son’s uniqueness. George feels the weight of judgemental looks from his wife’s family, despite the fact that they haven’t openly addressed the problem.
He’s Resolved
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George’s decision to fight for his son’s right to be himself and say what he wants shows how much he cares about him as a parent. Even though George has doubts about his actions, he is still determined to help his son develop his own personality, even though other people have different ideas. To solve this problem, he thinks everyone in the family will need to talk to each other and try to understand and respect each other’s points of view.
George’s Doubts
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After what happened, George thinks about what he did and wonders if he went too far to protect his son. He is torn between wanting to support his son’s true self-expression and thinking about how that might affect the family as a whole. He turns to an online forum for advice.
George’s Wife’s Harmful Behavior
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According to one user, George’s wife’s behavior is emotionally abusive. They explain that teaching a child that the way they live in the world most naturally and securely is terrible, wrong, and has to change is harmful. It is quite destructive and causes permanent scars. It is not necessary to use terms like ugly, stupid, useless, or wrong to convince a youngster that they are these things.
George’s Helpful Behavior
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At some point in their life, everyone will face rejection, humiliation, and abuse. If you make your child feel defective, they will most likely blame themselves and stay to make things right when others are nasty to them. The user applauds George for modeling the correct course of action for his son to take when someone mistreats him, which is to leave.
George is a Good Father
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“Your wife literally infantilized, disrespected, and humiliated a teenage boy in front of your extended family as a means to control him,” one user deduced. He repeated that George is a wonderful father by allowing his son to be himself and not a puppet for his probable ex-wife.
Conflicting Smiling Expectations
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Another person recalls their father acting like George’s wife whenever they smiled. “Stop smirking!” their father would exclaim. “Quit faking it!” “You look like you’re constipated!” “Smile nicely!” However, their science teacher was asking them to keep their smiles, perhaps because they were doing so less and less.
The Resting Pout Stereotype
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“My mouth has downturned edges, so I have a natural resting pout,” says one person.” My mother was continually complaining about my poor mood when I was simply being regular.” But, if they smiled or laughed, they were admonished to relax or that their enthusiasm was a “phase” and they’d soon become old and creaky or whatever.
Playful Suggestion
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“Next time, turn to your wife and say,” one user suggested. “Honey, I’m concerned that you might be hard of hearing. Our son was quite clear on what he needed. Shall I book you an appointment with an audiologist?”
The Extroverted Mother
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One mother in a similar position remarks that her mother is overly extroverted and can talk deeply to random strangers. On the other hand, she and two of her children are introverts. Each time her mom complains to her and the kids, she often has to interrupt her mother to reassure her that there is nothing wrong with that, which she finds aggravating.
George Gets One More Pat
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Someone observes that you don’t have to be a cruel person to give someone a difficult childhood. “I am really proud of you for following your instincts and doing precisely what you did, which was to extricate yourself and your son from the troubled wife and her family,” they say. Another user remarks that she was fortunate not to be wearing the gravy. “I’d have been tempted to splatter it all over her.”
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