The days of Leave It to Beaver and The Brady Bunch are long gone. Now, instead of neighbors looking out for one another, you hear more and more stories of people looking to shame their neighbors, even when they don’t deserve it.
Here are the details of Stacy’s story.
Stacy’s Side
Stacy says she lives in a neighborhood of about ten houses that don’t belong to the local homeowners association. Because the HOA doesn’t govern them, she can make desired changes and has a pool. These perks allow her to throw parties at her house that are pretty popular.
Stacy has a neighbor, “Jessica,” who is, according to her, a busybody and snitch with nothing better to do than find ways to cost their neighbors more money. She says the HOA complains and fines people for the slightest infractions. Something like having a fence that’s the wrong shade of brown could cost a homeowner in fines.
Stacy said she lost it on Jessica after the woman complained about their neighbor, “Mrs. Jenson, who is an 85-year-old woman who is suffering from some serious medical issues. Instead of just mowing the woman’s yard so she wouldn’t have to worry, Jessica took it upon herself to inform the HOA that Mrs. Jenson’s yard was ‘overgrown,’ and the HOA fined the woman $500.
Furious, Stacy planned a BBQ and posted on the NextDoor app that the ‘suburban guards’ and Jessica could not attend her party. Stacy relays that some of Jessica’s friends ‘boycotted’ her party and tried to throw a party of their own.
She says that while her party was a blast, no one except her friends showed up at Jessica’s. Stacy relays that Jessica cried because no one came to her party.
Jessica’s Side
After Stacy posted about the party, Jessica used the Nextdoor app to defend herself. Calling herself an angel and saying she “protects the neighborhood by doing her duty.”
Sorry Not Sorry
Homeowners associations have long been a thorn in the sides of homeowners. Creating useless laws that fine people, who frequently may be strapped for cash, for frivolous infractions. How do you justify fining an older woman such excessive money because her grass is too high?
How is it that, as adults, we can’t see a need and do something about it? Instead of ranting about it, Jessica could have easily mowed Mrs. Jenkins’s lawn herself or found an older child from the neighborhood and paid them to cut it. Instead, she caused the older woman to spend considerably on something minor.
After posting her story in an online forum, the comments blew up. Here are some of the best.
Ridiculous
Our first poster wanted Jessica to understand one thing. “I can’t imagine reporting a neighbor for painting the door the wrong freaking shade of brown. Ridiculous. I’m glad she cried. Yes, Jessica, no one likes you.”
People Like This
One user pointed out that Jessica isn’t the only person to spend too much time trying to micromanage other people’s lives by making them miserable. “People like this suck on so many levels. There was a dude I worked with who went around reporting and correcting problems in my department after my supervisor had to quit work suddenly because her kid got cancer. They never offered to help; they just tried to get us in trouble with our general manager, pointing out where we were falling short, even lying and sabotaging.”
Power Trip
Another person thought Jessica was looking for a power trip. “There is a difference between taking pride in your community and being active in it versus using the systems in your community to lord over people. Her actions reflect someone who wants a power trip, not a friendly community.”
Livestock, Seriously?
Someone posted about the HOA their parents had when they were growing up. “Grew up in an HOA neighborhood. My parents bought a hot tub and leaned it against the side of the house until we could get help bringing it to the backyard (house built into a hill), and the HOA fined them for “livestock on the premises” because they assumed it was a chicken coop. They would also go around the day after trash day and fine people for still having their trash can out or parking in the street for more than three days.”
Forced Entry
One informant noted that most of the time, it’s not a choice whether or not you join the HOA in your neighborhood. “Because it’s not always a choice to join. If you want to buy a house in a neighborhood controlled by an HOA, you usually sign a contract to become part of the HOA. Nobody is forcing you to buy that house, but people don’t always have many choices based on their needs, so it sucks.”
Own Medicine
Another forum participant thought Jessica was tasting a bit of her own medicine. “Sounds like Jessica got a dose of her own medicine and gagged on it. Party on, my friend.”
In Order
One person thought a schedule was a great idea. “I think a monthly block party with everyone invited except Jessica and the HOA is in order.”
Everyone Sucks
One commenter thought The HOA and Stacy sucked. “The HOA people suck for obvious reasons. You suck for making unnecessary drama by posting inflammatory comments on social media instead of quietly not inviting them.”
It’s Okay
Sometimes it’s okay to be a jerk, as one participant pointed out. “I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but it’s true. I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with being mean, and I think Jessica and the HOA board deserved it. I am glad you could serve some modicum of justice, and I cheered internally about the boycott over the party and hers being lame, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t being a jerk.”
High School Drama
According to one poster, everyone sucks. “Jessica does sound awful. But going on an unprovoked rant on this site that you claim to hate just to make someone else feel bad is also a lousy and childish thing to do. Have a party and invite your friends. Quietly turn away people you don’t want there at the door if they try to show up. These antics all sound like high school drama that you perpetuated.”
Public Shaming
One individual thought Jessica deserved so much more than public shaming on social media. “Not gonna lie, if you want to find an old lady $500 for not being able to mow her lawn, you deserve far worse than a public shaming.”
Legalities
Most people loathe homeowners associations, and for good reason. It’s rare to find an HOA that treats community members respectfully without unnecessarily looking for a way to fine them. On too many occasions, however, HOAs thrive on persecuting members for their noncompliance with the smallest infractions. As Stacy said, an HOA can fine you for something like painting your door a color that’s not ‘allowed.’
Have people become so arbitrary that they’d take someone’s hard-earned money for something so trivial?
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