A mom has asked an online community forum “am I the a**hole?” for kicking their son out when he revealed to his sister’s friends that she has to wear dentures.
Everything Was Fine Until Now.
The woman explains her son (16) and daughter (14) had a good relationship up until last week. “When our daughter was eight, she developed a very rare mouth infection that just absolutely devastated her teeth and gums. She ended up losing all her teeth in both sets, and had to have some corrective work done just so she could have regular dentures. Obviously this was very traumatic for her, and she’s still in therapy to help cope to this day.”
She’s Incredibly Self-conscious About It.
She hasn’t let anyone outside of the family know she has dentures. “None of her friends knew about them, in fact nobody besides her doctor and dentist know outside the family, she doesn’t want people to know. She’s very worried about people finding out, and won’t even take her teeth out in front of the rest of us, she’s worried someone will see.”
Unbelievably Cruel Prank.
For some reason, the boy decided to “out” his sister’s situation. “He somehow recorded her taking out her teeth without her noticing, and then showed all her friends when they were over. Not only have they all turned on her, but half the school is teasing her nonstop, she even had to change her phone number because dozens of kids were texting her the most vile things imaginable.”
They Are Disgusted With Him.
The poor girl is having such an awful time and her parents are deeply upset with their son. “I have never been more ashamed of one of my children until that moment. I don’t know where we went wrong raising him, but apparently, he thought it would be funny.”
They Threw Him Out.
The parents are so angry they can’t be near him. “After I kicked out her ‘friends’ who were mocking her and helped her through a panic attack, I called my father to pick him up and told him to pack a bag and get the hell out. He’s been staying with my parents two towns over, they didn’t know what happened until two days ago.”
Going No-contact.
The couple wants the boy permanently gone and explained to the grandparents why he’s been kicked out. “That came up because driving him to school was becoming a hassle, and they wanted to know what was up. When I explained they were disgusted, but still wanted to know when they could bring him home. I asked them if they’d take care of registering him for school in their town, and they agreed but were shocked. My husband and I talked, and we just cannot have him here.”
They Don’t Think They Want Him In Their Lives Anymore.
They are still so upset and don’t want him in the house. “His sister hates him, we’re so ashamed we can’t even think of calling him. It sounds awful but I don’t think our relationship can recover from this, and maybe this is what he needs. No friends, no family aside from his grandparents, having to start over might just set him right. My parents are willing to keep him until he’s 18, but think we’re too emotionally charged to be making this decision now.”
They Desperately Need Advice.
The woman sought counsel from an online forum. One user said: “What he did was vile, and he deserves a harsh punishment for what he did to his sister. However, I don’t think the punishment issued fits the crime. You can’t just throw your son away, and you CAN come back from this. It will take a lot of therapy for all of you, but it can happen.”
It’s Wise To Keep Them Apart.
At least until the dust settles. A user agreed: “The children definitely shouldn’t be staying in the same house, but I think OP [original poster] at least needs to talk to her son about what he did and why he can’t stay with the family, rather than shipping him off and going completely NC [no contact].”
They Don’t Believe He Should Be Abandoned.
Users understand that it’s a very upsetting time, but recommended she reconsider going NC. “Op YWBTA [you would be the a**hole] to disown your child over this. He is still YOUR child to raise and guide, there are reasons (maybe/likely grown from seeds you planted) that caused this – take the time out, AND let him know it is just a time out to cool off. Your parents are right, seeing you care so much about your kids, I cannot imagine you would throw one away once you calm down.”
Teenagers Can Be Very Cruel.
Many users are divided on this situation. One said: “OP’s son literally ruined her entire life. She will only get relief from this if she changes schools. Kids are vindictive, awful things when they zero in on someone they know they can bully successfully. The things they say to her will change who she becomes. She will likely never be the same. She will experience extreme depression, possibly even suicidal ideation because her bullies will not let her have peace.”
It’s Understandable Why She Wants Him Out.
Many commenters think a break is wise. “That poor daughter. This is traumatizing, and I don’t blame OP one bit for needing a break from her son right now. As someone else said, she doesn’t want to say something in the heat of anger that she’ll regret. What an awful situation. I wonder why the son suddenly felt the need to destroy his sister like that?”
Action Is Required After The Dust Has Settled.
Most users felt that permanently disowning the boy would be too harsh: “The sister did nothing wrong here, and if she never talks to her brother again I don’t blame her. However, this boy’s parents have a responsibility to care for him, so they can’t react the same way she can.”
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