Some folks go about finding a mate in all the wrong ways!
Lack of Boundaries
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“Doesn’t enforce relationship boundaries because [they] want the relationship so badly. Like if the guy is clearly only wanting you for s** and you comply while wanting more of the relationship and clinging to the guy even though he does not want what you want.”
Confuses Intamacy With Love
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“College era me thought s** was love, and then would be confused and upset when hookups did not pan out into romance.”
Social Media Spam on the Topic
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“Constant social media posts about how single they are.”
“I have a former coworker that likes to hashtag her posts with “wife material” and “girl can cook” when she cooks something that’s so stereotypically male, like a steak. It’s just… sad.”
Avoiding Certain Social Scenes
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“Saying stuff like, ‘I’m not going to bars anymore. I’m not going to meet my HUSBAND at a bar!’ aka being unable to think of any activity or get-together as anything other than an opportunity to have husband-material men presented to you like a damn audition.”
Making Excuses
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“You mean making excuses for the other person’s awful behavior?”
“Yep. And staying in the relationship.”
Creepy Staring
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“Staring desperately at attractive people of their desired gender? Because that’s what I do. It’s not very effective thus far.
And it never will be.
Whine About What They “Can’t Do”
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“When they constantly whine about what things they cannot do because they are single. Like traveling, going out to the movies, seeing a gig, city trips, beach vacations, and what not. I feel so sorry for women like this who are obviously unable to live without being dependent on a man.”
Ignoring Red Flags
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“When they ignore all red flags of a potential partner and are blind to how terrible the person they’re seeing is. E.g Partner tries to control them, or still brings up their ex often, etc.
Another one would be that they treat the people they are attracted to like objects. They’ll ask friends who are married or dating how they got a partner over and over, and what they have to do to get one.”
Codependency
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“Being suffocating, texting too much, not giving the other a chance to breathe and have their own “me” time, being too needy, etc.”
Back-Up Options
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“Keeping a pool of replacement options on standby.”
“Those are the worst; they flirt with you obnoxiously (and everyone else), make you actually think they’re into you, then drop you like a hat when they find someone better, and if you ever pull away and move on, they try and pull you back in as backup, like you probably have dozens of backup options stop trying to reel me in.”
Come On, Too Strong
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“When they say “I love you” within a couple of months of dating/meeting you.”
“Yep, I’ve always thought it weird when couples are three months in and the ‘love of my life!!’. There’s no way you know someone that well after only three months.”
Lose Their Soul
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“When you immediately abandon everything you are doing or had planned to do and invest in this new potential date or partner.”
It usually results in codependency as you lose any sense of self. It’s fine to really like someone, but you need to resist dropping everything and continue on with your own pursuits.”
Trying to Take Someone’s Partner
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“Going after someone else’s partner because you think they might treat you as well as their partner… it sounds insane, but it’s happened to my boyfriend plenty of times. Women really think he will leave me for them.”
Photographs/Selfies
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“Try to take pictures of you/pictures together on your first irl meeting/date. Had a guy do this and holy nope.”
False Persona
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“Pick-up lines instead of real conversation. Excessive compliments. Complaining about being single for too long and/or still being a virgin. Projecting a phony persona. Overdressing. Flowers and candy or other expensive gifts before the third date. Constantly quoting love songs and romantic movies.”
OTT Contact
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“When someone constantly messages you on Facebook or whatever and it’s clear they are trying to get into you. I had a guy do that to me. Then he suddenly stopped when he got a girlfriend. But the tone of his messages made it clear he wasn’t just looking for a friend.”
Misinterpreting Kindness
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“Anna: *drops something*
Tim: *picks it up for her*
Anna (whispering): he’s the one.”
Lying About Being in a Relationship
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“Anna: My boyfriend, Tim, is so wonderful! He’s the most amazing boy in my life.
Selena: uh, last I checked, y’all weren’t dating?
Anna: HE PICKED MY PENCIL UP FOR ME, SELENA! HE’S THE ONE AND ONLY!!
Selena (thinking): my friend is a maniac.”
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