OP is a 21-year-old female who is wondering if she’s wrong for bringing her own food after attending her brother’s wedding due to serious food allergies. The wedding was entirely vegan, and the bride disliked the OP’s decision to bring and eat animal products in her presence. The bride accused OP of ruining her meal and appetite, calling her inconsiderate and rude for not being able to eat a vegan meal for one day.
It Never Caused Offense Before
OP had talked to her brother beforehand about her allergies and decided to bring her own food since the catering company was not a professional one, and there was a high chance of cross-contamination. OP’s food had only two eggs in a salad box, and she didn’t see any harm in bringing it since she had done this at other events in the past without issue.
Is She in the Wrong?
Now, OP is wondering if she’s in the wrong after the bride and her brother called her out for her decision. She doesn’t see it as a big deal, but she wants to know if she was disrespectful or not.
The Catering Couldn’t Accommodate
It’s understandable that the bride and groom wanted to have a vegan wedding, but it’s also important to consider guests’ dietary restrictions and allergies. OP did the right thing by bringing her own food to ensure her safety. It’s not fair for the bride to be upset with OP for something she couldn’t control, especially since the catering wasn’t able to accommodate her allergies.
You Had Permission
One reader comments: “While I understand having dietary restrictions and it being her day… You have unavoidable dietary restrictions in that you are severely allergic to some foods, some of which were listed in the ingredients. You talked it out and got permission to bring your own food. You did your due diligence. From there, it is the responsibility of your brother to mention to his new wife what is going on.”
He Should Communicate
The brother should have gotten more involved to appease both his sibling and his bride, as he deeply understands the perspective of both parties and could communicate the issue better.
The Bride Shouldn’t Judge
As for the eggs, it’s a matter of opinion whether they’re considered non-vegan or not. Some vegans may not consume eggs because they’re a product of an animal, while others may still consume them if they come from ethically treated chickens. Regardless, it’s not the bride’s place to judge what OP chooses to eat, especially since she had no other options.
Vegan Food Could Cause Allergic Reactions
One person comments: “Especially since some of OP’s allergies are common ingredients in vegan food. Morality shouldn’t be at the expense of OP’s health and life.”
Valid Point
It’s a valid point – the OP shouldn’t have to choose between health and making the bride happy. It’s an allergy, and it’s not a choice. More allowances should have been made to ensure she was safe and happy.
Love and Commitment?
Also, it seems like there is too much of a focus on the ‘vegan’ part of the wedding and not enough of a focus on love and commitment. If something as simple as an egg can spoil the bride’s day, then there’s not much anyone can do about that.
The Community Responds
One reader comments, “Sorry, the focus of her wedding was veganism? Not that she was making a commitment to the person she loves? She’s wrong for that comment alone.”
OP Did What She Needed
Overall, the bride’s reaction seems unwarranted and rude. It’s important to prioritize guests’ safety and well-being over personal preferences, even if it’s a vegan wedding. OP did what she needed to do to take care of herself and shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
She Should Have Confirmed With the Bride
Ultimately, like many of these situations, there is no one person to blame. OP should have been more considerate and confirmed with the bride rather than her brother.
Harsh Reaction
The bride should not have reacted as harshly as her whole day wasn’t really ruined; it was just a little disappointing. She made the experience far worse than it had to be. Additionally, she did not make allowances for her sister-in-law’s dietary needs.
Perfect Mediator
Finally, the brother would have been the perfect mediator as he is the reason the two women know each other. He should have worked to please both his wife and his sister.
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