The same people who introduced you to “living for the weekend” and “waiting for your number at the DMV” have returned with another mind-boggling riddle. This time, we’re digging deep into the joint mentality to reveal the age-old question: “What toxic behavior does society still make excuses for?”
Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of eyebrow-raising disclosures as we reveal the top answers from the good, the bad, and the downright bewildering junctions of the internet. In this no-holds-barred piece, we’ll examine the social norms and entrenched habits that continue to afflict our everyday lives. And don’t worry, we pledge to keep things as light and breezy as a discussion about toxic behavior can be!
Keep Working
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“Looks like we are quickly returning to the ‘go to work even when you’re sick’ way of thinking.”
“Setting aside the whole pandemic thing, I’ve always hated this. Every job I’ve ever had (aside from my current job, thankfully) is always super chill with the theory of calling out sick. ‘If you’re sick, we don’t want you here! You need to rest and get better, and we don’t want other people getting sick!’ But when it comes to ACTUALLY calling in sick, it’s ‘Oh, are you sure you can’t make it? It’s going to be really hard not having you here today.’ Guilt trip, guilt trip, guilt trip, followed by an almost resentful ‘Hope you feel better.’”
Lack of Sleep
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“Overworking and lack of sleep.”
“Plus, missing meals to work more.”
“Related: treating your job like your life’s purpose. This is one of the root causes behind many toxic work cultures like employers slowly eroding work/life balance.”
No Boundaries
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“That family is allowed not to respect boundaries.
It’s something I see a lot, and often, trying to set healthy boundaries with them makes them treat you like the bad guy. And media and society tend to promote this behavior as love when it’s often actually dysfunctional.
There’s a difference between being close and caring for your loved ones and being expected to give up reasonable rights to personal space or self-sacrifice for them.”
Majority Wins
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“That if you agree with most people, you are correct.”
“Not even the majority of people. If you can find people who share the same belief as you, it makes that belief even stronger. The internet has exasperated this problem. It used to be if you were into a niche taboo or out there conspiracy theory, you were pretty isolated. Now thousands of others share the same thing connected worldwide, so it’s no longer weird. In fact, it’s normal, and everyone else is wrong. And they now have a thousand other people who will back them up on that!”
Celebrity Culture
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“People have gotten absolutely insane when it comes to celebrity culture – between inviting celebs to their wedding/prom/other big life events, bombarding their social media pages, or waiting outside their hotel rooms or houses, it’s nuts. People feel so entitled to time and attention, and it’s just gotten worse with social media making everyone so accessible.”
“Someone once said, ‘Everything I know about the Kardashians, I know against my will,’ and damned if that doesn’t sum it up for many of us.”
Sweet But Psycho
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“The ‘cute but psycho’ mentality. It’s not cute to be toxic or treat people like garbage because you think it’s ‘cute’ or acceptable because of your attractiveness.”
“Christ, can you please explain this to all these TikTok teenage girls that my boss keeps hiring as servers? They drop a tonne of sass and throw tantrums like a 4-year-old if they don’t get their way. But it’s ok because they’re a ‘Bad Girl,’ thank goodness I can fire them.”
Family Ties
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“Excusing bad behavior or toxic people because ‘they’re your family.’”
“YES. This. You can see this all over the world! ‘Well, they are my husband/wife. It’s better for the family if they are around.’ Not always!”
“Also ruining a healthy relationship because of a family member’s actions, disrespect, and interference. Family comes first. Meanwhile, your partner is treating you better than they ever did. Ugh.”
Easy Crime
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“White collar crime. And it often appears that the more money involved in the crime and/or fraud, the less likely commensurate repercussions will be brought. The consequences of big money financial fraud are widespread and significant. It ruins many lives and often leads to the death of innocents.”
“I want to clarify here that the real trick to being arrested for white-collar crime is perpetrating it against the wrong people. Martin Shkreli is the best example of this. The only reason he’s in prison is that the people he defrauded were richer than him.”
Always Working
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“Hustle culture. You don’t need/have to monetize every moment of your private life to make more money – you don’t need a side gig to start your own business or to turn your hobby into a job to be happy. It’s actually really scary that so many people get drawn into this way of living and don’t realize they’re literally missing the living part of their lives.”
Making Mistakes
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“Filming someone making a mistake (not crimes) and posting them on the Internet, without censoring their names and/or faces, for them to be judged and humiliated.”
“People gotta get that validation from people they don’t know. Clout/social media is a cancer on society.”
“Or acting like an idiot, harassing someone and then filming them explode and calling it a hate crime.”
Parental Power
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“Believing that being a parent is about power and control, not guidance.”
“Parents have legal guardianship and responsibility over their children and get to make decisions on their behalf. They do not ‘own’ their children as property.”
Using Others
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“Using people as stepping stones for one’s success.”
“Scorcese crime movies tend to glorify this, and even the inevitable fall of the protagonist is romanticized, perhaps inadvertently.”
The Right Way
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“One thing that bothers me as a gay man is the idea that there’s a right way to be gay, and many people both within the community and outside it see not conforming as internalized homophobia. It bugs me that my liking rock music and not enjoying drag is seen as trying to distance myself from these things or being ashamed of my sexuality – it’s like I can’t just like what I like; I’m making a statement. I’ve had queer people humiliate me or act like I’m a shame to the community because I don’t like the right things. Many straight/cis people either question my sexuality or act confused when I tell them I’m not into Lady Gaga or don’t care about Drag Race.”
Bad Employers
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“Abuse of power by employers.”
“I think a lot of this is due to employees not knowing the laws that protect them because they’re so hard to find. For years I worked in an abusive workplace that didn’t even give us reasonable access to a bathroom and paid us all unfairly and very different wages (whatever they could get away with). We were constantly threatened that if we discussed wages, we’d be fired. Once I left, I found out that there’s a federal law that protects my right to discuss wages with my peers without retaliation and that I’m entitled to have my basic needs met at work (access to a bathroom). Those are only some of the laws they broke and got away with.”
Two Parties
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“People treat the two-party system like teams in a football game. They excuse bad behavior from the side they support and do everything they can to make the other side look bad. Often they treat the two sides differently for the same behavior. It gets really bad during elections, where you can’t even be critical of your side when they’re wrong without being accused of supporting the other side. Or some other accusation in the extreme. I remember a (fake) story going around social media about a woman who ran over her husband for voting for Trump. Her responses were overwhelmingly in support of her actions. If that isn’t toxic, I don’t know what is.”
No Trust
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“This weird culture where couples go behind each other’s backs and snoop through their phones is really weird to me. Especially when they get mad for not finding anything. Or when asked to see their phone, they get defensive. It’s very childish, IMO, especially when it’s 30+ year-olds doing it.”
Pranking Problems
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“Using your kids to shore up your online presence, like posting photos and videos of them being pranked or embarrassed.”
“Yes, this is just pure exploitation. And I’m sure whatever revenue the kid is bringing in is likely not going to him/her either.”
Too Honest
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“The ‘I just say what’s on my mind’ mentality, without thinking about how rude their comments can be. But they justify it because ‘I say it like it is.’”
“God, I hate when my friend says this stuff, ‘I say it like it is,’ after saying the most sexist/racist/xenophobic war crime-worthy statement I’ve ever heard leave a person’s mouth.”
Make Me Happy
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“Expressing outrage or offense on a 3rd parties behalf to derail a conversation or to make it about placating them.”
“Reminds me of that one video where a guy dressed in traditional Mexican attire and asked Americans if they found it offensive, and all of them said it was, but the Mexicans didn’t take offense and actually liked it.”
Constant Consumption
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“Consuming – celebrating the need for more everything, and putting people who have the most on a pedestal no matter what type of person they are.”
“It’s appalling how often people start making more money and feel compelled to spend more money. ‘I earned it; I should treat myself!’
Save your money or give it to someone who needs it. There’s no shortage of people losing money or suffering because they don’t have enough. You aren’t owed more stuff than you need just because you make more money.”
No Excuse
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“As someone with autism, using neurodivergence as an excuse for your actions. It’s never an excuse to do crappy things; it could only sometimes be a reason for them, like if you have autism and you say something very offensive to someone and then use your autism as an excuse. That’s a genuinely crappy thing to do. I mean, sure, you can misread some social cues, but we know enough common sense not to be a downright jerk.”
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