Parenting a large family is a beautiful adventure, full of love and chaos! I’d love to hear more about your experiences—what’s one thing you wish you had known before having five kids?
1. You’ll Never Have Enough Space
When I first imagined a big family, I pictured cozy nights in, all gathered around the table for dinner. What I didn’t realize? The sheer amount of stuff that comes with each kid. Toys, clothes, school supplies, sports gear – it piles up fast. And while it’s heartwarming to have everyone under one roof, the lack of space can feel like a constant game of Tetris. But you learn to get creative with storage, and honestly, it becomes part of the charm.
2. Quiet Moments Are Rare But Sweet
Before kids, I used to love my quiet time. Now? A few moments of peace are a luxury. But those brief quiet moments, whether it’s reading a book in the middle of the chaos or watching the kids finally play together peacefully, become incredibly precious. They remind you why it’s all worth it, even when things feel loud and chaotic.
3. You’ll Have to Learn to Let Go of Perfection
In a big family, perfection isn’t just unattainable – it’s unrealistic. The house won’t always be spotless, dinner won’t always be gourmet, and there will definitely be more messes than you can handle. What I wish I had known? Letting go of perfection frees up energy for the important stuff, like connecting with my kids and enjoying the moments that truly matter. Once I embraced imperfection, everything felt easier.
4. You Become a Master Multitasker Whether You Like It or Not
In the early days of parenting, multitasking was something I thought I could avoid. Now? I’ve become a pro. Whether it’s helping with homework while making dinner or managing bedtime for multiple kids at once, multitasking is a survival skill in a big family. At first, it felt overwhelming, but now I’ve learned to embrace it, and I can juggle a million things without breaking a sweat (well, almost).
5. You’ll Learn to Love and Crave Routine
In the beginning, I was reluctant to create a strict routine, thinking it would stifle spontaneity. Now, I crave routine more than ever. With five kids, a predictable schedule helps everyone know what to expect and makes our lives much easier. The routine doesn’t just apply to meals and bedtimes – it’s about creating space for both fun and responsibilities, which makes the days flow better.
6. Kids Are Expensive But You Learn to Get Creative
When you have one child, it’s easy to budget for the extras. With five, I quickly realized that every dollar counts. From clothing to activities to school supplies, the cost of raising multiple kids adds up fast. What I didn’t anticipate was how creative you have to get. Couponing, buying secondhand, and using family deals have all become second nature. You also learn to get by with less because the true treasures are those moments spent together, not the stuff.
7. The Sibling Bond Is a Beautiful Thing
One thing I wish I’d known was how much joy it would bring to see my kids develop their own relationships. Sure, there’s fighting, there’s bickering, but there’s also so much love and teamwork. Watching them grow into their roles as siblings is one of the greatest rewards. The bond they share, though sometimes tested, becomes a source of strength as they grow older. There’s something magical about knowing they’ll always have each other.
8. You’ll Need a Support System And That’s Okay
Having a large family can feel overwhelming at times, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to handle it all yourself. What I wish I’d known was how much strength there is in asking for help. Whether it’s leaning on extended family, a trusted friend, or a babysitter, a support system is crucial. It takes a village, and letting others help doesn’t make you any less of a parent – it just makes you human.
9. You’ll Find New Levels of Patience
Patience? I thought I had a good handle on it before having kids. With five, patience reaches new heights (or depths, depending on the day). From handling tantrums to managing sibling squabbles, I’ve learned that patience is something that must be cultivated daily. It’s not always easy, but the reward is seeing the kids navigate their own challenges with resilience, knowing they’ve learned a thing or two from you.
10. It’s All Worth It Even on the Hard Days
There are days when it feels like everything is falling apart – when no one’s listening, when you’re running on fumes, and when the stress feels too much. But the one thing I wish I had known from the beginning is that it’s all worth it. The chaos, the mess, the exhaustion – it’s all part of the bigger picture. It’s the hugs, the shared laughs, and the memories that make it all worthwhile. When I look at my kids, I know that every hard day is just a chapter in a bigger, beautiful story.
Farah Zeb is a mother of five, including two children with special needs. She shares practical parenting tips and resources to help other families navigate daily challenges and create supportive, nurturing environments.
