What’s more heartwarming than watching five kids, all bouncing off the walls in excitement, come together to tackle a big project… and somehow manage not to strangle each other in the process? If you’re a parent of a large family, you know it’s not always smooth sailing. From the older kids taking the younger ones’ toys to the inevitable sibling squabbles that crop up at the most inopportune moments, keeping the peace can feel like a full-time job.
But despite the occasional chaos, fostering sibling harmony is possible—and yes, even fun! Here are 10 ways I’ve learned to create an atmosphere where my five kids not only get along but also help each other, support each other, and (shockingly) even enjoy each other’s company.
1. Establish Family Traditions That Aren’t Just About the Chaos
Family traditions aren’t just for the holidays—they’re for every day. From pizza and movie nights to weekly family walks, having something consistent that everyone looks forward to builds connection. We started a “team family” tradition where every Sunday evening, we all sit down and plan the week ahead. It’s a time for everyone to voice their concerns, share their excitement for upcoming events, and, importantly, feel heard. These little rituals help foster unity and give my kids something to look forward to, together.
2. Create Individual Space for Everyone
With five kids sharing one house, personal space can be scarce. That’s why I’ve learned the importance of creating quiet spaces where each child can retreat to when they need a break. Whether it’s a corner with a few books, a cozy reading nook, or a time-out blanket (for the more rowdy moments), everyone needs their own spot to recharge. Giving them this space teaches respect for each other’s need for solitude—and gives us all a break from the madness.
3. Give Them Teamwork Tasks That They Actually Enjoy
Instead of the typical “go clean your room” task, I’ve turned chores into fun, teamwork activities. They’ll often be in charge of certain household projects together—like sorting laundry by colors or preparing dinner as a team. Not only does this teach them responsibility, but it also strengthens their bond. When they work together, they realize that they’re a team, not rivals.
4. Praise Cooperation Over Competition
Let’s be real—sibling rivalry is inevitable in a big family. But I’ve found that highlighting and praising cooperation over competition can make all the difference. When my kids do something together, whether it’s helping each other with homework or sharing toys, I make a point to notice it and give them positive feedback. I want them to learn that being supportive of each other is what gets rewarded, not beating each other at everything.
5. Teach Conflict Resolution Early On And Actually Stick to It
It’s not about avoiding fights—it’s about teaching them how to handle them. I’ve established some basic ground rules for resolving conflicts: no yelling, no hitting, and always explaining why you’re upset. We also make sure they know how to say, “I’m sorry” and mean it. Sometimes, this means taking a timeout (for them and for me), but it’s worth it. Conflict resolution is a skill they’ll need for life, and teaching it young means fewer meltdowns in the future.
6. Give Each Child a Sense of Responsibility
There’s nothing like feeling like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. That’s why I’ve given each of my kids a special job in the household. Maybe it’s taking care of the family pet or helping plan the weekly grocery list. These responsibilities make them feel valuable, and they learn how to take pride in what they do. When they realize they have something important to contribute, it cuts down on jealousy and helps them see the importance of being a part of the family team.
7. Encourage Bonding Over Shared Interests Or Discovered Interests
I’m sure you’ve seen it: kids bickering over the TV remote or fighting for the same toy. Instead of letting those moments tear them apart, I’ve encouraged my kids to bond over things they enjoy together. Whether it’s a shared love of board games, drawing, or even a Netflix series, these interests help them form deeper connections. The trick is to help them discover what they both love, even if it means introducing them to something new and unexpected.
8. Give Praise Where It’s Due, Even for the Small Stuff
With a big family, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos and overlook the little things. But I’ve learned that praising my kids, even for small acts of kindness, reinforces positive behavior. Did one of them share their snack without being asked? Did they help pick up someone else’s mess? Praise them for it! Positive reinforcement teaches my kids that cooperation and kindness are valued in our home.
9. Set Boundaries And Stick to Them
If there’s one thing that helps prevent fights, it’s clear boundaries. We’ve set up family rules—things like “no hitting,” “use your words,” and “ask before borrowing.” While it might sound simple, these rules help reduce misunderstandings and create a sense of fairness. Kids need to know where the line is, and when they do, they’re more likely to respect each other’s space and possessions.
10. Celebrate the Wins—Together
Finally, the best way to foster sibling harmony is by celebrating those moments when they get along, support each other, or simply have fun together. Whether it’s a high-five for completing a chore without complaints or a special family outing for no reason other than to bond, we celebrate everything. Celebrating the wins, big and small, reminds them that being a team is the best thing they can be.
Having five kids means a fair amount of noise, chaos, and occasional drama, but it also means an abundance of love, laughter, and shared memories. By focusing on teamwork, communication, and respect, I’ve found ways to foster sibling harmony that actually work—most of the time. Sure, there will still be squabbles and disagreements, but these strategies help create a sense of unity in the middle of the madness. So, here’s to more peaceful playtimes, fewer arguments, and more moments of joy together as a family!
Farah Zeb is a mother of five, including two children with special needs. She shares practical parenting tips and resources to help other families navigate daily challenges and create supportive, nurturing environments.
