A woman took to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) to vent about her brother-in-law (BIL) about a 10-year grudge that he has been holding on to. The woman explained that her BIL is a general contractor, and ten years ago, he was asked by the original poster (OP’s) father and brother if they could borrow a skid loader from him as they were building a deck at the parent’s home.
The BIL denied the request, so the father and brother went on to do the job as best they could, but it did not go well, so they went over to the OP’s sister’s house to ask the BIL for help once again. When they found the BIL was away, they persuaded his wife to let them use his construction equipment.
Not being prepared for how difficult it would be to move the equipment, the OP’s dad totaled the truck, trailer, and skid loader belonging to the BIL. Unfortunately, there was little insurance to cover the costs. The BIL exploded when he discovered what had happened, even threatening to sue his wife’s family.
While the BIL did not sue, on request of his wife, who knew her parents could not afford the process, he did hold onto a grudge and has had nothing to do with the family. He has not attended any birthday or holiday gatherings or communicated with any of the family.
The OP has explained that it is her parent’s 50th wedding anniversary soon, and they are planning a big gathering of all the family and paying for a cruise to Mexico as a gift. The BIL refused the invitation to the celebration.
When overhearing that they would pay a portion of the cruise gift, he shouted to “deduct their portion from the cost of the skid loader and dump trailer.” The OP became annoyed and stressed that the incident was over ten years ago and that he needs to “let it go” and is an “a**.”
After the heated argument, the OP’s sister is not attending the celebration. Confused about whether she was right to call out her BIL’s behavior, she posted to Reddit to ask if she was an a**hole.
The consensus was that she was the a**hole, with one person commenting, “YTA. Your family stole $50k+ in work equipment from your BIL. By the sounds of it, they didn’t pay him back, showed zero remorse, and he should ‘get over it’?”
Others said something similar, with one person saying, “In my experience, when people tell you to “get over it” that’s a pretty good indicator that they were in the wrong.” Others blamed the OP and her family, saying, “OP only cares now because they’re trying to get money from BIL. OP, you and your family are AH. YTA”
Some Reddit users took some pity on the BIL and his wife as they questioned why he had not been paid back for the damage caused to his equipment. The OP posted again to explain that her brother and father are good people but could not afford the $70,000 the BIL was asking for.
She also mentioned that the BIL has three other skid loaders and dump trailers, and he was financially secure. Some people did not buy this excuse and said, “I understand they are poor, but that doesn’t diminish a sense of responsibility. Instead of pitching in for a bloody cruise, they should all be pitching in to pay the BIL back and try to fix the relationship they broke.”
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