Ahh…cheese. It can bring a dull party to life. If you want to add that little something to your next cheese and wine evening, try some of these 100 cheese jokes.
You may even become known as the king cheese of hilarity. Let’s serve up a slice of humour…
1. Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday?
Because of baby cheese-us!
2. What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese?
Gorgonzilla.
3. What is a cheese diet?
Eating curds and weigh!
4. Did you buy a lot of cheese today?
Yes, I bought a Tunworth!
5. What cheese can you use to clean your teeth?
Dental schloss.
6. What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke?
There was a meltdown!
7. What is cheese without a cracker?
Crackalackin!
8. When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying?
When it’s too Gouda be true!
9. Did you hear the cheesy weather forecast?
Rain with light Bries!
10. Why did Lewis Hamilton have too much cheese?
Because he won the Grand Brie!
11. What did I do with my cheese handkerchief?
I bleu my nose!
12. Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans!
13. When can’t you see cheese?
When it’s pasteurised!
14. What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?
Looking Gouda!
15. What’s a cheese’s favourite TV channel?
The Brie Brie C!
16. What did Mr. Cheese say to the shop assistant when she selected the wrong size dress for his wife?
That won’t Feta!
17. What do they shout out at Pantomimes?
He’s Brie-hind you!
18. What did the cheese say to the therapist?
I Camembert it any longer!
19. What does a cheese drinker call for?
Morbier!
20. I wanted cottage with my meal.
So I ordered from the a la curd menu!
21. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese!
22. When should you keep an eye on your cheese?
When it’s up to no Gouda!
23. How did the cheese paint his wife?
He Double Gloucester!
24. What do cheese markers dance to on Halloween?
The Muenster mash!
25. What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost?
I’m Lac-ghost intolerant!
26. What is a cheese’s favorite music?
R’n brie.
27. What did one cheese yell at the other?
Leave provolone.
28. Why did the cheese smile?
It’s gouda brie a good day
29. Why were mozzarella and feta holding hands?
They look gouda together.
30. What did the frustrated cheese say?
I’m feta up.
31 Why did the cheese cross the road?
To feta to the other side.
32. What’s the smartest cheese?
Cheese whiz.
33. Why did Cheddar think the cottage cheese went bad?
It curdled
34. How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
35. What did Cheddar say to Gouda?
I need to asiago you a question.
36. Where does cheese stay when it’s on vacation?
At the Stilton.
37. Why was the cheese sent to his room?
He needed to mature.
38. What kind of witch has cheese and ham on it?
A sandwitch
39. What did the cheese say when he quoted Shakespeare?
To brie or not to brie, that is the question.
40. When do they smother a burrito in cheese?
In the best queso scenario.
41. What is a basketball player’s favorite kind of cheese?
Swish cheese.
42. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that’s all up in your face?
Too close for comfort food.
43. What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese?
Muenster cheese.
44. What did the detective cheese say to the suspect cheese?
I smell something swiss-picious.
45. A tornado destroyed a French cheese factory.
All that was left was de Brie.
46. I was walking down the street the other day when this kid threw some cheese at me.
I thought, “That’s not very mature.”
47. What cheese do you use to coax a bear from a tree?
Come-on-bear!
48. I’ve got an addition to Cheddar cheese…
But it’s only mild though.
49. Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moat-zarella.
50. My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, “Honey, where’s the cheese grater?”
I replied, “Some would say France, others would say England. It depends on your personal preference.”
51. Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese?
Because she was getting Feta and Feta.
52. What do you call a cheese with curly hair?
Perm-esan.
53. What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Chedd-AAARGH!
54. What do you call sad cheese?
Blue cheese!
55. What did the queen say when a man threw cheese at her?
How dairy!
56. What do you call cheese that is acting crazy?
A basket queso!
57. What’s the pope’s favorite cheese?
Swiss. It’s holy!
58. Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Cheese!
Cheese Who?
Cheese a jolly good fellow!
59. What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese!
60. What cheese is made backwards?
Edam!
61. What did the cheese say before having its picture taken?
People!
62. Did you hear about the cheese that failed to medal at the Olympics?
It fell at the final curdle.
63. Which search engine is popular amongst mice?
Ask Cheese.
64. What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse?
I’m Brieeee.
65. What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
66. What do you feed the Son of God?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
67. Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
68.What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese!
69. What is Tom Hanks’ favourite soft cheese?
Philadelphia.
70. Who did the cheesy Bible start with?
Edam and Eve.
71. What did the cheese salesman say?
That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
72. What group of cheese has been known to fly?
Curds of prey!
73. What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese?
Curd-istan.
74. What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesy credit card?
Go on a shopping brie.
75. What cheese should you use to hide a horse?
Mascarpone.
78. What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution?
Caerphilly.
79. What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roar-quefort.
80. Why did the one-legged clown leave the cheese circus?
Because he couldn’t get his stilton.
81. What cheese do beavers like?
eDam.
82. What do you call an oriental cheese?
Parm-asian.
83. What’s the most popular American cheese sitcom?
Curd Your Enthusiasm
84. Why does cheese look normal?
Because everyone else on the plate is crackers
85. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Halloumi
86. Why does the knife get blamed for odours?
Because it always cut the cheese
87. How did the pizza feel when there was no more Mozzarella?
Cheesed off
88. What do you call a “Grilled Cheese” after a few days in the fridge?
Chilled Grease
89. Every time my mom burns my grilled cheese sandwich I get a stomach ache…
I guess I’m black toast intolerant.
90. I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I’m going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
91. Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Queso!
Queso who?
Queso mistaken identity
92. How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it with blue cheese!
93. What cheese cries the most?
Babybel
94.What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
You make me melt
95.What did the mouse say when he snatched the cheese without getting caught in the trap?
Cheddar luck next time!
96. What do mice like to eat for their birthdays?
Cheesecake
97. What do you call cheese that is cold?
Chili cheese!
98. What kind of cheese do cats like?
Purr-mesan!
99. What kind of cheese do dogs like best?
Mutts-arella!
100. What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé
Hope you didn’t go too crackers over those. Sadly, it’s time to make like bad cheese and go off. We’ll gouda here…
Farah Zeb is a mother of five, including two children with special needs. She shares practical parenting tips and resources to help other families navigate daily challenges and create supportive, nurturing environments.
